Waiting in the frigid breeze I could feel my bones shiver as the tiny flakes of snow stuck to my eyelashes. It seemed the bus would never get here. I breathed deep, filling my lungs with the cold air as I stood wrapped in my long wool coat and scarf, cowboy boots and hat. Imagine…standing in midtown Atlanta, living my dream of being on my own, having a great job, learning to make it on my own and as I ceased the excitement of this my favorite seasons of the year –Thanksgiving and Christmas, I unknowingly sought to find my life purpose!

The two bedroom second floor apartment I shared with my two girlfriends from college was unbelievably perfect. It was located in an old, eclectic part of midtown Atlanta, right on Ponce de Leon and Piedmont Ave. With its original cherry hardwood floors and vastly high ceilings and it appeared to have been built back in the 1920’s or 1930’s, and had the vintage, “I Love Lucy” feel with the extra large rooms and the small kitchen with the old white with black trimmed enamel countertops and the garbage shoot on the back kitchen wall.

The master bedroom had its own shaded balcony facing the busy street. I loved the noise and sounds of the city in the evening and the quietness as it rested at night. And at this time of year, everything and everyone seemed to brim with anticipation and even seemed to share knowing smiles gesturing unspoken Season’s Greetings.

So, with such blessed perfection, what more could a “That Girl” want? Life was perfect…right? So, why did there still seem to be a void, that something that was missing? That evening as I stood at the corner admiring the decorations in the windows across the street and the lights on the street corners and as Thanksgiving was one day away and another special holiday grew closer the hollow feeling intensified and I found myself even more distracted with loneliness and disenchantment.

Then my closest friend and roommate suggested something I had pushed to the back of my mind many times lately. Maybe I needed someone special to share this point in my life. Maybe this was the answer. But after loosing the battle with fear I quickly discarded the idea.

It was just another romantic idea. But the loneliness haunted me, playing over and over in my mind until I couldn’t stand it any longer. But how could a Christian girl with fundamental morals find that right kind of man here in this facade? The challenge seemed insurmountable. I didn’t want to take chances that would ruin my life with one time flings or something I’d later regret. I wanted more for myself than that.

As “twenty something” women, we could surely find a place to meet guys without bar-hopping and humiliating ourselves as needy women on the prowl. We discussed a safe and practical approach. And what better way for a Christian girl to successfully find the man of her dreams than in a church?

The quest was on. We attended Sunday morning services, Sunday evening fellowships, even Wednesday night choir rehearsals but were more disappointed. There were interests but they quickly flew south before they ever sprouted wings. The men either had their own plans for brief flings (which blew away my ideal vision of Christian men), or they soon became compulsive obsessive’s that had grand fragmented illusions of me supporting them financially and emotionally or me serving them hand and foot. I sure didn’t need any of that. I enjoyed my independence and had my own dreams of being the recipient of security and love.

One sunny but cool Sunday evening, as my roommate and I walked briskly, Bibles in hand, towards the church a few blocks away from our apartment, a car approached us and stopped. The elderly couple seemed so sweet and genuine. They inquired if we were headed to church and offered us a ride. We explained that we had only a few blocks to walk but they insisted. As we rode they explained that they were also headed to evening service at their church and offered for us to attend service with them.

For some exceptional reason, we felt so at ease and very taken by the couple and agree to attend their service that evening. As we entered the church, we were pleasantly surprised by the welcoming sound of praise and worship that emanated the room. There were people of varied races and backgrounds ages and sizes all mixed together with their hands raised and their eyes either closed or looking heavenward. Their faces were illuminated and seemed captivated.

I first resisted and thought this was way over my head. But as I begin to relax and allowed the experience of excitement and warmth and peace to soak in I found myself swept off course. I lost sight of my original intention of man-seeking and found myself heart-seeking instead. I began to feel something so satisfying that I was overwhelmed to tears. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

Then as the pastor began to speak and it became clear. I’d been seeking to fill my emptiness with all the things I’d been taught would fulfill and satisfy that vacuum, that hollowness. And I’d had it all along but didn’t realize it was not just faith, but a relationship. The pastor talked about God wanting to walk in the cool of the day with Adam. And he said this was God’s gift for us all along. To satisfy our longings with the unquenchable need for a relationship (walk) with Him only found through His Son, Jesus Christ. That was it. At that point I finally realized, nothing else…no job, place or man could ever satisfy like this. And from that day til now, I still thirst daily for more of Him and am quenched with my special Christmas gift.