Learn To Avoid an Argument
63Avoid an arguement
We all know that we can very easily engage in an argument with any person on different issues, on the slightest provocation. It is surprising to note that people mostly argue on unimportant and trivial issues. They are so ignorant and sometimes irrational. I have seen people losing out on a lot of good opportunities just because they started and carried on some useless and aimless arguments .They have even lost many useful friendships and relationships just because they picked an argument.
The shocking fact is, even educated persons are no exception to it. Why do people argue? Don't they know to handle the situation in a better and amicable way?
Very often Man is generally an egoist. Even if a person understands that, he/she is wrong during an argument he/she will never admit to it and will carry on with the arguments. If you praise a person, he/she may remember it for a few years. If you argue with a person and win, she/he will remember it forever. He/she can be hurt deeply in an argument.
Arguments never give you anything good. You never get any benefit from any argument. Even if you appear to win in an argument you would have lost something out of it, probably the relationship with the person you are arguing with becomes deteriorated.
In my experience I have learned its better to avoid an argument. Sometimes we are pushed into some tricky situations where we have no alternative than to get drawn into an argument. In that case, try to make it short and to the point. Present the vital points from your point of view and see that you do not use words that might hurt others.
So, let us remember that arguments can never be of any real benefit. On the other hand, we stand to lose a lot both directly and indirectly.
Let us learn to avoid an argument as much as possible if we want to live wisely.
arguement
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
I agree, why be confrontational.
Sounds very very sensible.People don't like to give up their ego part which leads to arguements.If this is practised at home,there won't be any divorce cases at all....but a bit difficult.Great hub.
Anger management is about developing new responses to stimuli that normally cause us to react angrily. Too bad I'm so terrible at it. I definitely have some room to improve here.
vijayanths, can you publish more hubs on this?
thank you vreccc for your reading my hub. Sure, it will be my pleasure to give you more.
I think it is a difficult art to practice.I do lose my patience sometimes and cannot avoid picking an arguement though I know it will have no positive results.thanks abhi.
I have found that sometimes we don't hear things the way they were meant to be said or presented..We may have something else on our minds...or are not as interested in what the other person is saying..It is felt and then words get loud and once yelling starts all is lost..for the moments. It is important to listen, think, and then re-act. Hard to do but be calm and truly caring about other's and what they are saying to you. If life is so busy you forget to care..why are we here?
Good Hub my dear and here's to you G-Ma :o) hugs
It is an art G- Ma .If you have the will to practice it you can. Thanks for the wonderful comments.
The Author Vijayanths has very clearly described in this article the futility of an argument. He has even reasoned out how friends can lose a good relationship by engaging and getting locked into a trivial argument. Its worth a read.
Thank you sylvia for your lovely comments. It gives me great joy while reading such wonderful comments.
Many years ago a very wise and old friend instructed me not to argue.
I practice diligently, sadly to say I do join in unfounded arguements once or twice.
This is to my regret.
I will endeavour to be less frivourless with my arguementive skills.
Thanks for a great hub
vijayanths
Neither side is right in an argument. Neither side is seldom persuaded to change their mind in an argument. "You can catch more flies with honey" was something my grandmother always said. Thank you for your advice and wisdom shared.
hi, MrMarmalade, nice to note you practice great techniques. yeh, sometimes we do lose our temper and cannot avoid an arguement. It is an ever learning process. thanks for the nice comment.
hi, In The doghouse I really enjoy reading your beautiful comments.Yes, you will never gain anything in an arguement,sure will lose something. But it is not easy to avoid an arguement. I am trying my best to practice it in my life.thanks.
I think that one of the problems is that sometimes we don't listen to each other. One person has a problem - the other one doesn't hear or chooses to ignore them. It's very frustrating vijayanths. Maybe if we all took time to listen and to consider the other person's point of view we will all be happier. It's easier said than done. We are only human so we can only keep trying.
Your hub and the comments are most revealing of our nature. Thank you vijayanths for bringing this topic into a discussion.
Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I saw two men in a heated argument. The argument started when one man led a pack of adolescent boys in a physical race around an apartment building where my mother lives. The racing pack was having fun, but they were not cautious of little children in their way (nobody was hurt, just scared a little).
The father of the little children screamed at the leader of the adolescent pack. "Excuse me, EXCUSE ME," he had to say three times to get the leader's attention. The leader of this pack did stop and say, "I'm sorry, I meant no harm." And he backed away.
The father did not accept this apology, instead, he called the leader an a**hole, and the fight (argument) became explosive. Now, it was the father and his friends, the leader and his friends, and their cheering sections egging both parties on.
What got out of hand here was, I do believe, testosterone. The boys just couldn't leave it alone. None of them.
One tiny woman, related to the father of the children, stood between him and the leader of the adolescent boys and said, "You've had your say, both of you, now leave it." She was very brave.
So the men left it by turning their backs to each other, but at the same time they were hurling insults at each other.
The fight was on again.
Meanwhile, the leader of the adolescents came in my direction. He is my cousin. I asked him to leave the whole thing alone, to go up to the Easter celebration in my mother's house, and turn away. He did.
To make a long story short, women intervened to calm the situation, and it was over.
It is very sad that it is so hard for some to turn the other cheek.
When someone attacks you, they are doing it more out of their own needs than about any direct assault on you as a person.
I could go on about this, but the important thing is that you brought this dynamic up. When someone is enraged with fire and wants to engage you, leave it alone. If you do engage, then you are lower than the person who challenged you.
I also want to echo what In The Doghouse says: You catch more flies with honey.
Yes, jooles we often fail to listen to the views of the other person. We bother only about our problems. Good comment, thanks.
Wow, what a wonderful comment you have made on my hub, thanks a lot. It is the "ego" which caused the arguement in this incident. The father thought the boys did not give proper respect to him. I wish he had handled the situation better, being an elderly person.thank you, once again.
Panic 39 says:
2 years ago
I need to practice this...