After managing a gentleman's club I could write a book full of odd things that people don't really think about or even think existed. I always joked that my job would have been a sociologists dream because I literally sat and observed millions of different behaviours. Since I have the attention span of a gold fish, I'm just going to do this list and hope it helps someone (or gives others a good laugh).  Let's get on with it. 

1) Shoes and clothing are important despite the fact that you take most of it off.

Not only can exotic clothing and shoes be expensive, they also create the look you want on stage and that can often affect how much money you are able to make. Every customer has different taste in women and appealing to that taste is the only way to really keep the customer for more dances. There are three major looks that are normally found in the club: a)Outfits that are fun and flirty, often times pink or fun bright colors. These tend to appeal to customers who are looking for the younger-looking, girl next door. Being cute and appearing younger than you are tends to bring in the most cash. My theory is because older men tend to want exactly what they wanted in highschool, even though they have changed in appearance. There is a right and a wrong way to do this look. If you're older than 26, don't even bother. Women who dress far too young for their age is taboo in public, as well as in the gentleman's cabaret. Another way to sabatoge this look is to over do it. A cute pink bikini with a strawberry pattern and pretty clips in your hair can be adorable, lollipops and rainbow leg warmers are ridiculous. When women over do it in this way it reminds me of when I was five and wanted to wear my bathing suit under my clothing all of the time: it's childish and doesn't make a lick of sense. Often coupled with the clear open-toed shoe, this outfit is meant to look as light as the material it is made of. Clear plastic shoes are the easiest to wear when choosing an outfit like this because they will go with any color and not draw attention to your feet.

b) Outfits that are darker in color and tend to have a harder edge. These outfits go especially well with alternative music, rockabilly styles, as well as a seductive electronica. This look is best suited to the girl that isn't interested in bopping along to fergie but rather someone that can make a dance routine to bjork's "Human Nature" look like an exotic peep show. This appeals to a lot of younger men as well as the older men that like to explore their alternative side. There are many ways to ruin this look and it happens ALL of the time (If you've been in an exotic dance club, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about). What women don't realize is that a black romper coupled with a g-string made of metal chainlink and chrome/black heels is extremely erotic while scene hair cuts, ridiculous jewelry with razor blades, thick black'n'chunky boots and an over abundance of black eye liner is just plain stupid. You didn't make friends with that look in high school and it really won't help you out here either.  

c) Outfits that are more lingerie-based, flowing and sensual. This is the outfit that I recommend to anyone that is older than 26, chooses to dance to music that is sexually charged (a great example is Kylie Minogue's "Slow"), and/or tends to dance and do a floor routine more than inverts and pole tricks. Lace and flowing fabrics are ultra sexy and can make a dancer of any age look unbelievably gorgeous. Spins around the pole and even just walking is accentuated by the flow of fabric allowing the dance to seem more fluid and sensual. It also adds to a floor routine because you can twist the fabric, have a little peek-a-boo game with your most intimate parts, and even have a s&m binding session with the pole which you could dance out of. Can you tell this is my most favorite look? Shoes, like the first look we discussed, should be simple and not draw attention to your feet. Clear shoes will work but why not get a sexy pair of stiletto heels with small embellishments that sparkle? Classic chunky shoes wouldn't work here but a shoe that has thin straps and a shorter platform than normal will lengthen your legs without actually adding length and are simple enough to keep the main attaction above the knee. I find that most men are attracted to this type of girl and usually stay for more dances.

Because everyone has their own taste, you can't garantee your outfit will be a hit with every gentleman. Spend time soaking in the vibe of the club and pick an outfit that is best suited for the atmosphere so that you don't appear to be a fish out of water.   

2) Your Social Skills

Engaging a customer in a polite, light-weight conversation before asking them to dance increases your chances that they will, in fact, spend money on you. It's really no different than meeting anyone else in a business situation. Ask them how they are and if they are enjoying themselves BUT stay away from questions such as:

"Are you married?" (it may just remind them they have a wife and that they should leave)

"What do you do?" (Some people don't see this as a rude question but when propositioning someone to give you money you shouldn't pry especially since most people hate their jobs. The only way I would ask this question was if the gentleman said he was visiting on business.)

"Will you buy me a drink?" (Come on now! You know better than that! Only take what is offered in this situation because the gentleman can be offended by how rude you are and decide not to take you for a dance. If you ever ask this be assured you just traded a cocktail for 3-4 dances in the backroom. Good job, moron.)

"Do you have children?" (Let's face it... his daughter is probably your age, don't remind him. If he does bring children into the conversation remember to keep it light and polite.)

Remember, you can ask every customer in the room to take you for a dance and one or two might actually take you for a song but if you put the extra effort into a five minute conversation the gentleman will be more inclined to spend more time with you. It is not unusal for a gentleman to relate to you personnally, like your spirit, and pay for an hour up front. CH-CHING!

3) Not every customer is a saint sitting on a wad of cash.

It's common for men to agree to go for dances without having enough money for it, understand the rate at which they are billed, or to expect more than what is legally possible. I'm not sure if it's the fact that it is in an establishment of intoxication or just because they're men but being ripped off happens more than you would expect. There are specific steps to ensuring this doesn't happen to you.

a) Make sure the customer is coherent and visably semi-sober.

b) Explain how you will be paid per song.

c) Explain to him the rules of touching and if propositioned for "extra attention" politely let them know that it is illegal and you are a law abiding citizen.

d) after every song ask them if he would like you to continue. I find a lot of girls will keep going if the client doesn't say anything and ultimately end up dancing a lot longer than the customer can afford. This ends in wasted time because the customer will refuse to pay, bouncers will become involved, and every one becomes upset. This will also tarnish your reputation if customers claim you ripped them off infront of other potential clients.

e) it is a good idea to offer dances for a good price should he buy half an hour of your time. It's almost like buying in bulk but inreality, there is less of a chance of being ripped off if you get the money up front and instead of the average 2-4 dances, you get an entire half an hour. I know of girls in clubs that charge $20 a dance but will offer a good rate of $160 for half an hour instead of $200. You will find you can make more money despite losing $40 since it would take an average of two songs before another client comes along AND you convince the man to spend more than he originally would have.

4) There are a lot of strange personalities out there and you will meet them all.

So far, in my mere three years of work, I have seen so many odd people and witnessed so many strange behaviours. IT SERIOUSLY BLOWS MY MIND EVEN TO THIS DAY. There is no getting used to some of the requests from clients. Now, because I'm worried about you going out there without being aware of this, I'm going to let you know what kind of freaks are going to approach you.

a) The cryer. Maybe his wife just left him, he's lonely, or is getting shipped off to Iraq in the morning. Who knows! He's just looking for a little comfort in the company of a beautiful lady and then, mid-dance, he starts bawling his eyes out, clinging to you for support and making you at a loss for words. Don't worry, remind him he's still on the clock and console the poor dear because these guys will pay for your time as well as tip a bit extra not to tell anyone.

b) The Radio Operator Did you ever have a boyfriend way back in junior high that had no idea what he was suppose to do with nipples and sat there tweaking them like he's tuning a radio? Some of those boys never grow out of it. I'M SERIOUS! Grown men going to town on your nipples like they're popping pimples. All you can do is politely remind them that it hurts because yes, believe or not, they are attached to you. Unfortunately, if they are drunk enough, they'll keep doing it so either you be prepared to put a cold pack on your nips or you terminate his session.

c) The S&M fan that is too embarrassed to find a dominatrix in the yellow pages. You think I'm joking but it's all too common to find men that want you to step on their genitals with your heels, pinch, poke, slap, and call them names. If you're incomfortable with this then they will usually turn down the regular dance BUT if you're smart you'll say that is outside of a normal dance and it costs extra. It's especially fantastic when you've just had a fight with your boyfriend and you're down for a little ball-crushing.

d) The dirty talker. The most common of all is the man that wants to say the most disturbing things to you while you dance for him and get away with it. A common thing is to be called names such as "slut" and "whore" and most girls don't put up with it or down right charge them more for their colorful language. You just have to remember it's always your choice to dance for him and you can end it at any time.

5) The only money you get is the money you make (DUH!) 

 It's rare to find a club that will pay their dancers. Honestly, most dancers pay a fee to work in the club. The only money you will be getting is the money handed to you after providing dances which means there is no time for being lazy. This isn't a job where you can waltz in, take forever to get ready, mill around, drink and wait for men to ask you to go for dances. NO! You have to hussel, work the room, and emplore every opportunity to make money. That means you should eat a meal before you go to work, bring a quick snack for the middle, bring bandaids for if your shoes rub you, cut down on cigarette breaks and the biggest one of all is to not get drunk.  

6) Other dancers are competition.

 You are competing against other women for the gentlemen's attention but it's important to keep an air of tact and manners about you. Let the other girls be catty, gossip, and be lewd while you ignore them and do your job while keeping the appearance of being lady-like. If you keep your head down, work, and generally keep to your self when it comes to other staff you're going to bank much more than the others. All of this is just a distraction from the unsurmountable amount of money you could be making.   

7) You can establish a regular clientel.

 The easiest way is to become familar with faces, realize which regulars take girls for dances (because not all of them will), and then befriend them. Learn their name, ask them how their day was and then you're off with a head start. If a regular walks into a bar and you're the first one to say "Hi, Jim! How is it going?" he's going to stop in one spot to talk with you. Remember, having polite conversations and smiling is the best way to make friends but it's even better when those friends have money.   

8) T.I.P.S means "To Insure Prompt Service".

I can't stress this one enough. The bartenders, cocktail waitresses and bouncers see a lot of girls come and go. If you're nice, polite, and tip they will go the extra mile for you because, trust me, they've seen a lot of evil dancers in their time. Bouncers keep you safe and will be more inclined to be on your side in the event of an arguement with a customer over money. Bartenders are always approached to set up a dance session when the client is too shy to approach a girl and often times when asked which girl they would like they say "Oh, anyone will do". If the bartenders like you, 80% of the time these clients are sent your way. Cocktail waitresses will also start noticing if your drink is low and offer to grab you another one which is fantastic if you're with a customer because most times they'll offer to pay!

9) Anal bleach will be your friend. I don't really have to explain this one except I can give you advise on what kind to buy. Look for a skin bleaching cream that doesn't have sun screen in it (often indicated if the brand is a "nighttime formula") and contains 2% solution of Hydroquinone (because it's such a delicate area). You can pick this up at almost any chain drug store or you can go here http://www.shopinprivate.com/anbleaccream.html

Keeping personal care wipes with you on the job is a really good idea because I've never laughed as hard as I did when the black lights picked up a piece of toilet paper on a girl's bum... mid-stage performance.

10) Stay away from drugs.

This one should be pretty obvious but I've seen a lot of dancers end up trying a little, going partying, and then spending all of the cash they earned that night on blow. If you're in this business to make money then don't be an idiot, I'm sick of seeing strung out girls that can't do their job. It's a mean thing to say but dancers are a dime a dozen and if you want to do blow, go work at macdonalds for minimum wage, but there are tons of people that would love to have the opportunity to make hundreds of dollars a night.

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