Before It’s Too Late
65Rare is the
person who goes through life completely satisfied with the path he’s chosen.
It’s human nature to dwell on the ‘what ifs’, and perhaps only the very
enlightened will manage to elude the regrets. In a recent email exchange with a
fellow hubber I found myself musing on the question ‘how do we find our niche
before it's too late’? Her answer intrigued me.
"What
is too late," she asked. “Fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty years of
age? Is it a matter of age, a matter of mind, a matter of physical
ability, or a matter of ambitions out of step with time?” If that
wasn’t enough to set me thinking, she added this absolutely breathtaking
nugget. “I have a joy, interest in, and understanding about many
things...but have I missed the opportunity to get down to the one thing
that brings the best of me forward? Like pruning the rose bush…the more
it's pruned, with love and care and respect for its nature, the bigger the
blossoms.”
I hope she
will forgive me for reproducing what are private musings, but I just had to
share those words. Like others I often wonder what I could have been had I not
opted for journalism so many years ago. Back then, when it came to making a
career choice, I thought writing was probably the only thing I did with any
amount of ease. But as the years passed and I was exposed to more people,
developed new interests and had a range of diverse experiences, somewhere it
occurred to me that perhaps I had missed my calling to be something other than
a badly-paid hack.
Not the
ballet dancer that I sometimes jest about wanting to be (that would require a
complete suspension of belief) but perhaps something simpler – a potter
blissfully messing around with clay, or something to do with animals, or even a
traveller without a fixed agenda. Is writing really what I do best? Do my
talents stop at running a blue pencil through other people’s efforts? Or is
there something I’ve missed? By unconsciously pruning my rose bush have I
snipped off vital blooms?
What indeed is ‘too late’? The only obstacle I can think of to stop you from pursuing unfulfilled dreams or exploring hitherto dormant inclinations is physical disability. Nothing else, especially not advancing age, should stop you from taking that step into the unknown. You don’t need to go haring off in a hundred new directions (remember the rose bush), but opening your eyes to new possibilities might bring surprising results. Pruning is a good habit, but don’t be so eager to nurture the big blossom that you miss the joy of seeing another little bud unfurl.
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Following your dreams is not always the safe way - and for some not the right way. But it has to be the way of least regret.
Pachuca, it is indeed never too late. Give it your best!
Iphigenia, I don't mean just following your dreams...sometimes we're scared to even follow simple inclinations because we're safe in our comfort zones.
Thanks for reading, both of you. :)
To dream the impossible dream....for many of us it remains impossible, because of our inhibitions...you are so right, FP.
I read a fwd last night about a woman who aspired to be a famous ballerina and wanted to be accepted by a well known teacher. She performed in front of the teacher,but the moment she had finished, he told her in a dismissing tone, that she would never be a great dancer. Disheartened, she went back home, threw her costume into the cupboard and went back to her hundrum life. Many years later, she met the teacher again and reminded him of what he had told her. He looked at her and said- Well, that is what I tell all the dancers who come to me. In disbelief, she shouted back at him, that he had killed her dreams by not believing in her. He replied- No, you did not believe in yourself.
I know I too have pruned a little too closely myself.
Great hub...thanks
Lovely story Diana...too bad I didn't take my ballerina dreams more seriously either! :P
As for pruning too close...the good thing is that living beings never stop growing. :)
FP: It's actually very interesting, years ago, when I was in my 20's and ambitious, I purchased a book entitled "Late Bloomers," and for some reason, I had the feeling I would find fulfillment later in life, but I sort of pushed that feeling to the side. I see the full possibility of starting new projects, goals, dreams, and learning new things when both my mate and I grow into our golden years, if both our health and mind remains good. I already got out of my comfort zone four years ago, and its interesting to watch how doors opened to literally do whatever I want. Had I remained in my comfort zone which lasted decades, those opportunities wouldn't have been created.
That's great to hear VS! Hope there are many more opportunities waiting up ahead for you. :)
F.P.,
I used to think that I would just get rich enough to buy my freedom and I'd spring from my comfort zone to follow my heart.A funny thing happened on the money trail,no matter how far I went,the further the horizon moved ahead .
So I changed paths and an even funnier thing happened,I followed my tickling inclinations and laughed all the way to the horizon.
Life has a way of having the last laugh, doesn't it, TMG? (Er...isn't there anything else we can call you? :P )
Thanks for stopping by.
F.P.,
I have been asked that a few times now Teresa McGurk suggested TheMindfulBrute,I like it but I love TheMindlessBrute perhaps I should explain why in a hub.
That's a good idea TMB! Looking forward to hearing why. :)
What a lovely hub FP. Just loved it. It kind of motivated me. Cheers to a great hub.
Great hub as usual! I need to get out of my comfort zone too before i give up on myself completely!
"What is too late" is a question that can only be answered after the fact, in retrospect, that is, when it's already too late for something :-) I am tempted to write a hub on this philosophic numbo jumbo, but I think I'll just say, good thought provoking hub and leave it at that :-)
Thanks jay! I think you're probably still too young to be worrying about whether it's too late! :)
Thanks minilady, there's a time for everything! :)
Thanks Elena, and it's never too late to start writing philosophical mumbo jumbo! :)
you mean to say its still not too late for me to try and be a handsome young filmstar - adored by all, aurrounded by beaiutifulllll women. wowowowowowow
Hmmm! Now you have got me thinking. Maybe just maybe, all those elephants ;-)
I am delighted to see all this philosophical dancing and singing around pruning the rose bush. I've got a very large one here, climbing up a tall trellis, and it needs some TLC. FP, I think you and your commenters have given this topic the depth of thought it deserves, and so you are prepared to use the clippers with the aim of assuring healthy growth. Drinks and dinner are on me if you all will please come on over and take care of this out of control rose bush. Don't forget your leather gloves. She's a very thorny creature.
Another wonderful Hub, FP, and how nice of you to let me have a second chance at the subject by commenting!
Hi FP!! I have grown up with that attitude and have never looked back. My mom did her MA at DU while I was doing mine. I went back to school studied, gave exams and changed careers in my 40s, (phew its all over!!). Anything is possible if we have the intention and an inclination. Sure, I can't be an astranaut, but then I have no ability or inclination and no intention!!! :)
Neelesh you could be anything you wanted, except perhaps young again! :P
Elephants? Now you've got me thinking Ravin! :D
Uma, I know you took a big leap of faith, and I don't hink you've ever regretted it!
Thanks for reading, all of you.
ST, if it wasn't for your rose bush this hub would never have been written, so many, many thanks. And you are doing a wonderful job of pruning it to your satisfaction, so you don't really need any help. But we'll come over for the drinks and dinner anyway! :)
Thanks Feline for sharing.....I've often questioned my own vacuum of lost dreams. It's comforting to realize others are questioning too. And Sally - count me in on the drinks, but I don't think I'll be pruning anyone else's rosebush but my own.
Regardless of the career - being a hack or anything else doesn't matter a whit - I think our FP is perfect, just the way she is.
But if you must have a change, I believe they still have a vacancy for a Field Marshal! :)
Jmell, often it's a case of so much to do, so little time. :)
ralwus (lol, so difficult to spell right!) - life gets so much more interesting if you step off the beaten path occasionally, doesn't it? Great to see you here! :)
Very inspirational,FP, Thanks.
Hehe Jaspal, I don't think I want to step that far out of my comfort zone! :P
Thanks for reading, Gypsy Willow.
FP just call me CC then. everyone knows who I am, cept the noobies and they will get it on my profile.
Too good FP
When I was young, I wanted to be either a train guard (what power that green flag had to move a train) or a Band Master in a Military band (throwing that baton (?) ever so high and never missing it)
I became neither.
But I shall look for my rose bush.
Great hub - don't know whether I like your serious ones better or the funny ones
Thank you CC...phew! :)
Hope you find your rose bush sabu, and all the best with the pruning. And what a nice thing to say...my occasional serious side seems to shock most! :P
Ah, FP, this is good.. sometimes we have to pursue the 'daily drudgery' and work towards the dream, sometimes throw it all out and re-dream. Somewhere along our path comes chances to do both and sometimes you just have to have a cup of tea and breathe.. Um..did you want me to refill your cup?
Make mine green Candie...the tea I mean! :) The ideal situation would be a chance at doing both, don't you think?
FP
What an insightful hub. I've learned to take responsibility for all my actions, it does not vanish the regrets completely but it somehow mellows them. Makes the mistakes and indecisions bearable. What ifs are a curious prospect but they ultimately distract from the now :D
You're right Chris, what ifs can be pretty destructive...but there's always another day. :)
But life is a strange thing ; it suddenly seems to get nearly over,when all along we are under the impression that it has just about started. Plain , prosaic truth is we can perhaps be just two(and a half) things -- including the devotee of the rose bush.Why ? I dont know . Perhaps , as the poet says:
between desire and intent ,
falls the shadow .
Perhaps we can try to make the most of our days before the shadows lengthen? Thanks for reading Taposh! :)
I liked taposh's comment a lot...there is that hope of being at the start of things, while we may be feeling that we are at the end of things. But when does the start look like the end, and the other way around?
The rose bush, the one that grows in the garden, harbors those mysteries. We can nurture it into taking on a new life, or we can neglect it and let it die. The decision lies between desire and intent.
How much do I like your Hubs?
There you go, asking another thought provoking question ST! Bridging the gap between desire and intent is the tough part obviously...how many of us will take the trouble to do that? Thanks for popping by to see where the comments were heading! :)
I too am popping by once again :)
Saw a rather interesting movie a few days ago that had reminded me of this hub: The Bucket List. It's about two terminally ill men heading out to do all the crazy and not-so-crazy things they would like to before kicking the bucket.
But, one doesn't have to wait to be terminally ill or a septuagenarian to get on with pursuing his or her dreams ... Time is short, might as well make the most of it. To quote Omar Khayyam:
"Come, fill the cup, and in the fire of spring
Your winter-garment of repentance fling:
The bird of time has but a little way
To flutter and the bird is already on the Wing."
That's a lovely quote...repentance does have such a sad, cold ring to it. Yes Jaspal, it would be lovely if we could pursue our dreams right away...but some of us are just too lazy as you know! :P
A little more popping by here, FP. I'm reminded of the old saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." A saying with as cold a ring as that of repentance.
All of the back and forth here makes me wonder what it takes to penetrate that barrier of indifference, fear, denial, or whatever it is that blocks our realizing our dreams...or even recognizing that our dreams are realizable.
Perhaps it is, for some, only that moment of enlightenment that comes with knowing that kicking the bucket is imminent.
True ST, but kicking the bucket could happen at any time - it's not restricted to old age in the distant future. We tend to think we literally have miles to go before we sleep and hence time to do the things we still haven't got around to doing. Perhaps then, like an unruly rose bush, it's better to go wild, than never bloom at all? :)
This piece captures the essence of what we all should strive for. As long as we have the courage to reach for our dreams, we can leave this earth knowing we never failed.
That's a lovely thought, Carmen! :)
FP This was a great article, and I absolutely loved the comments! You got our attention with this one! Now I am left wondering how to bridge the gap between desire and intent (if I could just figure out what either one of the them are)
Thanks DOB! And at the risk of spouting cliches...to thine ownself be true... :)
Pachuca213 says:
6 months ago
I loved it....Sandman was just telling me the other day that I am a nut for not going forward with my dream to be a singer. Although I did it shortly in a professional way back in my late teens, I gave up on it. But I realized he is right....I should try and at least do it for myself if not anyone else. Even if I never make it BIG...just at least for my own satisfaction. Because I do not want to wake up at 65 or 70 and regret not taking the chance....I have so many dreams I want to fulfill....singing and writing my books......But its never too too late I guess. But the sooner the better!