Some couples will say, with all the things at work, taking care of the kids and everything else, we just don't have time to make love anymore or some people tend to think that once they've been married for a while and had kids, that sex is not that important, that's totally wrong, make the effort and make time to make it happen, you'll be glad you did.

Last time, I checked my bible, God said in Genesis 1:v 28; in fact, it was his very first commandment to Adam and Eve, and that was to have lots of sex. How else are you going to be fruitful and multiply?

 Men, your wife needs more time than you to reach the point of wanting intercourse, while most men can simply think about having sex and have an erection, a woman will need more foreplay of cuddling,holding,kissing and exploring, to most women,sex is more experiential and to most men, its more physical.

Men,so make the effort to please her by making the build up to intercourse more meaningful and try to do something different each time and put some thought into it,Over time( if you don't fully know already) you will really know what gives your wife the most pleasure.

Women, have you ever been with your husband? The foreplay was spontaneous, hot and heavy and you reached the point of intercourse and as soon as he saw your naked body,excited,twisting with desire and breathing with anticipation,that really got him so excited to the point that he ejaculated prematurely or he couldn't even get an erection before actual intercourse, leaving you frustrated and unfulfilled?  

Some women may think her husband has a serious problem that will seriouly affect their sex life or even that he no longer finds her attractive, that is not the case, regardless of age, some men based on health and mindset,can have problems with having or maintaining an erection or premature ejaculation.

Men have you reached a certain age and become an overweight slob,don't care and now you think it won't affect your performance? Think again? Get in shape, your very sex life may depend on it.

Women, don't call him names or belittle your husband, try to be understanding, Trust me, he feels even worse than you about his inability to perform, so try to not bruise his ego, because as you know, men can sometimes have huge egos and can tie their very manliness on their ability to perform sexually.

So if you make him out to be "weak" in this regard, it can cause him to avoid being intimate with you or he will turn to pornography or commit infidelity which is indefensibly wrong or try all sort of medications not just those famous blue pills, which is not always the best or healthiest choice for PE (premature ejaculation) or ED problems.

Men,one way to stop premature ejaculation is to spend more time on foreplay and pleasing your wife and not so much on going straight to intercourse and Women, try to build up your man's ego, his mindset goes along way to having and maintaining powerful erections.

If you do this, you are less likely to have premature ejaculations and you will be pleasing your wife and you'll actually have her be the one coming to you for intimacy and sex instead of the other way around.

Both of you, as you're pleasuring each other, make a mental note of each other's erogenous zones or what really gives your spouse the most pleasure. Wives and Husbands, as you're all hot and bothered, don't forget to tell each other what gives you the most pleasure and don't be bashful about it, in other words talk it over.

You'd be surprised at the number of married couples who have not only have unhealthy communication in their marriage generally; but its actually worse in the bedroom, they just expect each other to automatically know.

Again by knowing what gives each other the most pleasure, you'll have a much better sex life.

How about this scenario? Ladies, maybe you've been around the block (you've had different sexual partners and generally lived an immoral lifestyle in your past) before coming to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and you married your husband and you no longer placed such a high emphasis on sex that you used to, you got married, you didn't "kick the tires" i.e. have pre marital sex,

Even though you still want to have a vibrant and healthy sex life and after making love to your husband, you start to think wistfully about how much mind blowing sex you used to have as once again, he has left you feeling flat and unfullfilled, your beloved husband, who you promised to have and to hold for a lifetime, just isn't "cutting the mustard" i.e. he's not measuring up to past lovers, either he's not attentive to your needs or just lacks the desire to even try.

What's a girl to do? She deserves to have passion and great sex in her marriage. There's absolutely nothing selfish about it. There's that banal phrase Talk is cheap; but it is what is truly needed, talk it over with one another.

As you do,an emotional bond is created between the two of you, on a deeply intimate level. seek christian counseling if necessary and don't hold back.   

Don't use that as an excuse to "find someone better" either as "secret friend" or to end the marriage. 2 Corinthians 6v 18 Flee immorality. It won't be easy and will require restraint and patience on your part;but at the end of the day, its worth it. Do nothing and nothing happens.

Why do people have affairs? Tick Tock Tick Tock. Give up?

Because they are made to erroneously believe that the grass is greener on the other side (Of course infidelity is not always about sex or the lack thereof) but it is a big factor,

I have ventured far and wide and alot of the "married personal ads" will say "I love my husband; but he's married to his ______ job, its been almost a year since he's kissed me or even touched me in any meaningful way, all the passion is gone, its almost like I'm his sister instead of his _____ wife."

He says "I don't know what happened, ever since we had our daughter Sarah, she doesn't want to have sex anymore, I really still love her;but a man's got needs, I need something to happen and its just not happening at home"

Don't ignore changes in your married sex life and don't ignore your spouse's needs, Talk to each other about your sex life in detail if it has lagged off, seek professional help if necessary.