Understanding your boss - the body language

Body language is always a subjective issue and one that needs to be approached carefully. A point that is especially true in the context of your manager or boss.

It's never going to be easy understanding your boss. They are, after all, a human being and we all know how unpredictable humans can be.

So let's start with the simple issues first.

Your boss is human.

You might not agree with that statement all the time, especially when they are yelling and screaming like a mad man - but it's a fact.

They are human and that means they make human mistakes. They might use the wrong word to give you some feedback - turning a constructive 'You've done well but you might want to look at this for next time' into a 'You've not done well at all have you? , but that doesn't mean they can treat you how they want. It does, however, mean that even the bosses with the best intentions can get it wrong.

Signs like folded arms, detached stares and leaning over a big wooden desk may put you off guard and make you feel more defensive than need be. Your boss may just be making a point in all the wrong ways.

It's often worth remembering that your boss feels the highs and lows just like anyone else. The best managers can remain professional and supportive throughout; the worst will make you want to resign on the spot. And then there are the millions of managers in between.

So the next time your boss comes towards with their finger in the air, remember that the finger might not be as bad as you think.

Anxiety and stress changes everything.

In situations of high anxiety and stress, body language becomes distorted leaving those interpreting it in a state of flux. And those that project it - equally confused.

When you are stressed or anxious, particularly in the work place, things can easily get blown out of proportion. You might think your boss is being unfair, aggressive or over bearing. From their point of view, when they are stressed or anxious, your boss may want to smile but their body is telling them to frown.

Everything can easily be turned upside down - and when that happens, you enter a whole world of misunderstanding.

Never a good thing.

If things start going a bit pear shaped at work and everyone is on edge - try to take a moment to remember that the situation may seem a lot different than intended. Your boss maybe looking very angry when, in fact, they are just trying to make sure that things go smoothly.

Having said that, stress and anxiety is never an excuse for treating someone with disrespect or harassing someone in an unacceptable way. Whilst you can make allowances when the going gets tough, there is still a line and that line shouldn't be crossed.

There are some great bosses out there who can take the highs and the lows of the business in their stride. They remain professional, courteous and supportive in any situation. Then there are the other managers that you may have had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with in your career.

In any case, there are situations where is worth remembering the fallibility of the human being to upset and annoy other people when they really don't mean to. When you're stressed, anxious or angry than you may come across in an entirely different way to what you intended. And your boss may do the same.

A little bit of understanding can go a long on both sides and the work relationship will be that much better for it. But it must always be said that there is a line to what is acceptable and what isn't. It's great to be understanding but people shouldn't go so far and cross that line.

I'm still good friends with some of bosses; and there are some I was glad to walk away from.

In either way, if you remember that even managers are human too - life will, hopefully, be a little bit smoother.

Till next time, good luck and have a great week.