It has been a few years after your divorce; it is now time to start getting over the feelings of guilt, regret, inadecuacy and the constant "pity parties".

The boomer divorce rate is triple that of their parents' generation, according to Ken Gronbach, author of "Common Census: The Counter-Intuitive Guide to Generational Marketing. Broken homes, broken hopes and dreams are what many mature Americans face today.

But you have finally decided to get back out there, stick your toe in and test the waters again.

First and foremost one must understand that: before you can attract a healthy partner, you yourself needs to get healthy.You have to identify, accept, and heal emotional “baggage” and shed any negative feelings you may have toward the opposite sex. This means letting go of the anger, disappointment and resentment that comes from divorce and learning to overcome the fear of being abandoned again.

Women especially lose both their identity and self-esteem after a relationship ends, and they must recover these in order to attract and maintain a new and better relationship.

So, what does ‘healthy’ really mean?

· One starts with being conscious of and taking responsibility for your emotional issues – this means a desire and willingness to heal any destructive patterns that sabotage your relationships.

· You should be committed to creating your own happiness rather than waiting for a partner to make you happy.

· Start accepting yourself as you are right now – this means being totally honest with yourself, knowing and expressing your personal boundaries, and resolving conflicts without blame or judgment.

· You should believe that you are worthy of love. When you do, you won’t allow yourself to be controlled or victimized, and you won’t be stuck in "what could have been, should have been". You will let go of yesterday’s grievances, forgive, and live in the present to be healthy in your heart and in your mind.

Once you’re ready for the next relationship, there are a variety of ways to attract a new partner. These include online dating, speed dating, singles groups, regional singles events, and dating services.

In the era of rampant online social networking, online dating seems to have overcome its initial stigma and grown to become one of the most

popular ways to meet people today. It comes as no surprise that there has been an increase in the number of websites catering to the 50+ demographic since the Baby

Boomer Generation's activity in the online dating world has risen since 2005 (according to an article “Online Dating vs Social Networking” by Noah Garrett, February 18, 2008)

Experian Consumer Research has found that Baby Boomer attitudes towards online dating have also shifted, with an increasing number of consumers aged 50+ agreeing that they use the Internet as a new way to socialize and meet other people.

Divorce for many feels like the end; but just like all things that come to an end, we must mourn for them, learn from them and finally pick ourselves up, so we can start all over again.

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