I mentioned in my profile, how I've been there done that..got the T-shirt.Well by that I mean that I've had my share of unlucky in love.

I’ve been down the road of heartache, anger and went from self pity to self loathing.

I know first hand just how empty and lost you too must feel without your partner( be it your ex boyfriend or ex husband), in the midst of a breakup and long after. And because you spend so much time focusing on all the good times you had with this person who is no longer there, you end up feeling not only depressed but withdrawn from reality.You escape into your own cacoon of memories past to such an extent that everything else in your life starts to fall apart without you even noticing it. No matter where you are or what you're doing, you feel alone.And you feel most alone when you're surrounded by other people.

In the day's following my breakup, I tried my best to go on as normal as possible and to put up a brave front at work and around family and friends.But when I went home all I did was cry, not before checking the phone to see if he had called.

The first week was the hardest,each day felt like a year.I couldn't eat or sleep.My eyes were shut but I felt like I could see everything in the room.I was dying inside and I felt as if I had not a single soul to share it with.

Friends are great, but when it comes to breakups they don't want to hear you go down memory lane, they just tell you to 'snap out of it'...'there'splenty of fish in the sea'. As helpful as that can be, you also need time to grieve.

He was my best friend and my boyfriend, and now I was alone...nobody understood that but me.

Days passed into weeks and I became more withdrawn from friends, and by then my hunger pangs gave way and all I wanted to do was eat everything in sight.I try to fill the void in my heart with food.As wonderful as it felt for that 15 minutes of tasty pleasure, that emptiness in my heart just wouldn't go away.

I became less aware of my self, I stopped looking in the mirror as often as I used to, I got sloppy.My misery followed me in every aspect of my life.My work performance declined.I had more online friends now than real life friends.

Months passed and I still longed for that call, but it never came, not even on my birthday. I never stopped thinking about him but reality began to creep in and I began to accept that it was over .I slowly started to rebuild my life again. I joined the gym and spent a few extra hours in the office instead of rushing home for a comfort eating session. I started cooking again and eating healthy meals, I spent less time online and more time reconnecting with real friends.I started taking care of myself, developing my skills and learning new interests.

Within two months I was back in shape and progressing well at work.I was back on track. Although i was sleeping reasonably well and without crying myself to sleep, I was still thinking of him constantly,but I did nothing to contact him.

A year had past, and it was nearing Christmas.That time of the year when you most long for the love and comfort of someone special.

I had a Christmas email group set up for every year. This year I did the same, I emailed the card to everyone on the list, including him(my ex boyfriend). I admit I did it intentionally since it was a way of contacting him, without really contacting him.I didn't expect a reply but had nothing to lose. I hit the send button.

Just an hour later I got a reply and it was one that I had not expected.

A three page long 'it's not you it's me email,which was almost too good to be true since it had everything I wanted to hear. He apologized profusely and said how glad he was to hear from me even though it was just a Christmas card.He said that he couldn't muster up the courage to call me and that he was not good in expressing his emotions.He thought that I wanted nothing to do with him, because I wasn't calling him either.I felt such joy inside reading his words,but at the same time I was so angry at him for putting me through the heartache.I kept thinking of the other relationships he may have had in the year we were apart.Then my joy started to turn turn ugly into resentment then into anger then eventually rage ..and the delete and block sender buttons.

I didn't respond to that message.

I let my pride get in the way.He never wrote me again and I let him slip away without telling him how I felt all through that year.He never knew that I never stopped thinking about him.

Although it's been years since and I've moved on, I sometimes wonder, what if? what would life be like now if only I had replied.

Do take a page out of my book, by not falling apart in the midst of your breakup, but don't make the same mistake I did, don't let pride get in the way of your happiness.

Neither you or your partner express yourself in the same manner.Maybe one or both of you are too proud to admit what 's really going on.Don't let a lack of communication ruin your chance of happiness.

Don't be a coward, and don't spend time googling him, pick up the phone and call him.If you can't muster up the courage then why not look into the fabulous Magic of Making up, a step by step guide that prepares you for the battle.It tells you just how to get your amour on and when to let your guard down.You could try to go it alone and try to contact him, but how will you know what the right words to say are?, you don't want to come off sounding desperate .

The good news is that the Magic of Making up can help you with exactly what to say and when to say it. Timing is everything. You need a quick and easy action plan to fix your relationship, before he starts dating again. Don't let him get away like I did.