Sure... it's all in the style.

Let's look at the break down on break up styles, and see where you fall.

1) The He Said... She Said Game

Way before the breakup is official, teens reluctant to end things will tell their friends it's off, then turn around and tell the person they want to break up with that it's all good.

They do this because nobody really wants to hurt someone's feelings and come right out and say..."Oh btw, I don't like you anymore."

Now ...while saying something so outright might seem cruel, don't you think it would hurt a little less than having the entire sophomore class know that you don't like the person before the person you're breaking up with knows?

Be discrete, and be honest.

Yes, it will hurt, but it's a lot better than a week long game of emotional ping pong.

2) The Say Nothing Game

This might sound silly, but it's a technique even adults use. It simply means that if you don't call and hide out for awhile, the person you want to break up with will get the hint.

Keeping someone guessing will only make them want answers. This puts the breaker on the spot since they probably can't answer why they're not interested anymore, and if they do know they're afraid to say why.

The breakee will get the closure they need if you came right out and say, "I just don't feel right in this relationship and can't give you 100 percent. I'm going to move on because you deserve better."

The breakee can move on now because they are not trying to figure out if something is wrong with them.

3) The Yo Yo Game

There's a saying in the south that says... "people always look better on someone else's arm."

In other words, the guy or girl you just broke up with suddenly looks really good now that they're dating someone else, so... now you want to rekindle that relationship.

But know this, the reason your old boy/girlfriend looks so good is because they are happy.

Leave them alone. They've moved on. It's your turn.

Think about how it feels to stick your hand in a flame. Going back will only hurt you both twice as much the second time around.

4) The Bounce Back Game

You're in love, but not with the person. It could be sex, their car, even their family. Yes, people do fall in like with perhaps, their girlfriend's dad who happens to be a NASCAR driver.

If you find that you only really like one thing about someone, you're eventually going to find someone else who you like more completely.

But how do you keep the sure thing while pursuing the new thing?

You don't. By playing sure and new you're risking all.

Not to mention that you're preventing sure and new from finding someone who's wants to give them their all.

5) The Blame Shift Game

Sometimes people not interested in pursuing a relationship further will do strange things to sabotage it.

They might cheat or start arguments to make their "partner" crazy enough to do the actual dirty work of breaking up.

It relieves the "blamer" of any guilt but... it leaves the "partner" wondering if they made mistakes in the relationship... leading to regrets about breaking it off.

Unfortunately, what usually happens is that the "blameless partner" loses a little bit of self esteem each day they put up with the abuse...

causingthem to cling for dear life to the very one that wants out of the relationship because people with threatened self esteem feel the bitter life with an abuser is all they're entitled to.

Face it... if you are playing the blame game...you are literally driving your soon to be ex...over the edge, and accomplishing the exact opposite of your intentions.

Best Advice... Always Tell The Truth

If a relationship is not working, it surely won't be repaired with lies and deceit. The faster and more complete the break the quicker your ex will heal.

Once more, be swift, be honest, and believe when I say that breaking up is hard and it hurts, but avoiding it is worse.

Now...

For Safety's Sake...

Let's say that you have a gut instinct that the break up didn't go as well as planned...

and you feel like your ex is a threat...or...

feel that your ex might be considering harming themselves or others...or

you are having feelings of deep despair and are considering suicide...

Get help from a trusted adult.

Gut instincts are primal messages that warn you of danger...

And they can save your life... and the lives of those you love.