Why is it that most men can't accept life as it is, and take a bit of initiative and responsibility when they should?

Not ALL men, just most.... that I have met, anyway. Maybe it's a culture thing, the average Canadian male is a far cry of what the men of South Africa are ( in my opinion). What I grew up with back home certainly did not prepare me for what I am dealing with over here in Canada. It's a slap in the face and a real reality check!! Forget about the boys, where did all the men go?? Boyfriends, pah!!

Maybe it's because I was never really interested in men, and never dated or had a relationship until I was 20 years old. Hmmm, that could have something to do with it. Maybe that's why I seem to pick all the winners. Ironically, as much as I like to complain about the male Canadian species, most of my friends are guys. All the guys I have dated seemed great in the beginning. They always do. You have the honeymoon period, where he sweet-talks you, jokes around, send those cute, cheeky texts and seems to always be around you. Then once your into the 2nd part of the relationship, you go through what I call " The test of time". This is when he relaxes a little more and becomes comfortable with the relationship. You start getting comfortable too, thinking everything is peachy keen .. maybe it starts getting a little TOO comfortable.

You become a step in for his mom. No really, I mean a sort of replacement. Your expected to come over when he wants you, wait for him when he wants to do something but is preoccupied with some other crap he "just wants to finish first" like play World Of Warcraft ( WoW) for the next several hours so you miss your movie, and eventually lead a routine of missing out on a social life outside in the real world, make his food, get him blankets, clean his mess, do his laundry, pretty much wipe his arse! When they can go drop a steamer with the bathroom door open to public ( your) view, and still hold a conversation with you like nothing's out of the ordinary, you know it's going a bit far. But the slightest mention of these annoyances usually gets you labelled as an uncaring wench who doesn't appreciate him and nags too much for him to change. Well, deary, nobody asked you to change. Just be considerate and realise a relationship takes too, and is 50/50. Don't hog all the glory.

After the father of my child lost his job, he didn't bother finding a new one for 6 months. He wouldn't go out for fear of missing a raid on that stupid game ( WoW) and our social and romantic life pretty much disappeared. It became boring, because we had so many restraints, HIS restraints on things it wasn't possible to get things done. Wake up at 2 or 3pm, maybe shower, get online, play till 12 or 1am, watch tv for an hour, masturbate, go back to game till 4am, play game till 7am, sleep. Repeat cycle. Where's there room for the relationship. How the heck am I suppose to compete with that. And if we go out, god help me if we aren't back before 5pm for the raid - I'll never hear the end of it. Sometime amongst all that I told him I was pregnant and er, it didnt improve things, that's for sure. Instead of him being a man though and getting his priorities straight and working on our problematic relationship he just sat on his arse for the next few months. Well, how did he support himself? Why did I stay with him? His mother and I did everything for him - and I truly did love him and believe he would come around. It never happened, and I'm still waiting. My daughter needs her father but he has his priorities mixed and is ashamed that at age 25 he is a soon-to-be father of a beautiful child. He won't man up, instead he lies about myself and the baby to his friends to make himself feel better.

The other sort of guys are the ones that want a relationship but not the exclusiveness that comes with it. Promiscuous, anyone??? That sweetheart you've been dating the past 6 months has a girlfriend in every town, and when he's "away" working - he's "workin'" it alright!! All his friends know and eventually 7 months down the line you end up meeting some of these girls through his friends coincidentally at a bar one drunken night. Don't take offense, he does it to all his girlfriends. Heh.

What about the " I don't want to be the single loser of my friends so I will just have a girlfriend as an accessory" guy? Treats you like his mother, cheats on you with internet flings and chases fantasies online, but can't handle having a real life relationship. By god, he wouldn't know which hole to stick it in, in real life!! Crikey!! But when you leave his sorry ass, he act's like he doesn't know what he did wrong ;'( *sniff* * shed's a tear"

Every girl has had one of these >> the best friend you for some reason unbenownst to God, slept with - and ultimately ruined your relationship. Surprise!!! Sex changes everything, and when surprises arise from that one night, you see their true colours and how they really handle things. It's awkward, it ruins friendships, it changes everything. Just don't go there.

The guy that couldn't make up his mind what he wanted from you or in a relationship. So you moved on .... the girl that got away. You still keep in contact, you still care about him but you know what he's all about. He wonders how he messed up, still not sure what he wants you for but knows he wants you back.

Yep, I have had some real winners!! Might I say I'm not really all that experienced with men and relationships as I have not had many, but obviously I haven't had any good ones yet. Come on guys, where are the good ones hiding? :) I'm taking each relationship as a lesson to learn something new and use my knowledge to avoid wasting my time and heartache. You know they say " nice guys finish last"? They don't, they just give up to easily so they nice girls end up with the pricks. The nice girls are always looking for the nice guy, get some balls and show yourselves!! This is like playing a "where's Waldo" scenario. I know your there somewhere.

Needless to say, girls, there's nothing wrong with having a bit of standards in a guy, but when you get stuck in a bad relationship realise what your sacrificing to uphold those standards. Or if you lower them too much - you get what you bargain for. Take your time and don't jump right in. Emotional attachment is a hard thing to get rid of because your going to feel guilty over dumb things, and stick in the relationship with the wrong guy for the wrong reasons. You'll never know then what your missing out on, or who your missing out on.

To the Guys out there that are like the ones mentioned above >> Never take someone for granted; Hold every person close to your heart, because one day you might find you lost a diamond while you where too busy collecting stones ...