A Cheating Wife-A Christian Viewpoint On How To Handle It.

Do you have a cheating wife? In society today, cheating has become so common among both genders, even in the body (the church) that its almost to be expected at some point in the marriage, well after the "newness" or newlywed phase has gone by.

What if?...

You've just found out that your sexy lovely wife,best friend and lover has been cheating on you, she is someone you trusted in and thought that something like this could never happen in your christian marriage and yet it has happened and now you don't know what to do about it, your mind is going through alot of different emotions right now, everything from feeling hurt and betrayed,anger,sadness maybe even feeling inadequate or even a strong desire for revenge,a need to get back at her for doing this to you.

Before you decide on how you want to handle this,put on the brakes, don't do anything rash or foolish,illegal or violent, something you know that you will regret later, Here are some suggestions you need to consider and act with your head and not from a broken heart.

First Things First:

First you need to call her out on her cheating, Don't go out on a witch hunt, this only should be done if you have real proof that she has been cheating, Whether you found a bill for a gift she bought her lover,an email or you went through the hassle of hiring a private investigator.

A good christian marriage or any marriage, is built on trust so you must have good cause to do some digging and have solid evidence to back it up before making any accusations, this is not somthing you can ignore especially when you consider the possibility of picking up some sexually transmitted disease from your cheating wife running around on you.

Maybe you thought your wife was as happy as you were, about the relationship and now that you've found out that she has been cheating, you must now decide whether you want to end the marriage or try to rebuild it.

You must consider how likely she is going to go back to cheating on you, once you've forgiven her, that is, if she even wants to stay in the marriage. According to Barna Research, the levels of cheating, marriage, divorce and remarriage nearly mirror the rates of non-christians. Can you really trust your cheating wife again? These are all questions you should seriously consider and have the answers to before deciding how to go on.

Once you have confronted your cheating wife, give her a chance to explain herself, there is no real justification for cheating in any marriage especially a christian marriage where both of you know the lord and his admonitions against sexual immorality, like in the bible book of Hebrews 13:4 which says Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will JUDGE. none the less, give her a real chance to explain herself.   

 Are You Partly To Blame?

Is there any truth to what she has been saying for example "For months now you've never even touched me, I needed to feel wanted, needed and attractive and this guy I met at that pizza place on Lindell, made me feel beautiful, desirable and alive again. He really listens to me and you don't"

Have you been distant or ignored her or let things sort of become routine? Are you no longer in the mood to have SEX with your wife? The bible in 1Corinthians 7:5 says "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer". Do the two of you spend time in the word like you used to?

Again, there can be no justification for cheating; but the answers to your wife's questions can help you decide if your marriage is worth saving or if you should "dump the cheater already." From a biblical standpoint, you have every right to show her the door on your marriage; but you also can forgive her if she truly wants to be forgiven and try to rebuild the lost trust,love and marriage.

You should have a real discussion with your wife about your future and if she really wants to save the marriage and she's not just staying out of guilt, Was she dissatisfied with the sex at home or she cheated and really fell in love with the other man?

if your cheating wife is truly in love with the other man, you have no other choice but to end it.You can't have a true and vibrant christian marriage if your wife's lover is crowding your wife's thoughts. Talk about a recipe for disaster. 

Laying It All Out There

She really needs to come clean and let you know when it started and how many other lovers your cheating wife might have had. You might also want to get yourself tested for any sexually transmitted diseases you might have contracted.

People tend to giggle and say that's its not necessary and put it off and end up living a horrible, sometimes disfiguring life (e.g herpes) or even dying by catching something from a cheating spouse.

If through a lot of soul searching and prayer, you both decide that you want to save the marriage and live together according to christian marriage principles, It is imperative to involve an objective third party like a pastor or christian counselor.

 Lastly

The aforementioned steps are just some of the steps you need to consider taking if your wife has been cheating on you. Again,Don't be rash and act impulsively and make sure that you really have "the goods" on her before confronting her and keep the number of that christian counselor or divorce attorney handy just in case.

Your cheating wife can be your best friend again, if both of you are commited to rebuilding your relationship if you, as the injured party, in all of this, can somehow summon the strength to overcome the hurt and sense of betrayal you must feel. I expand on this more in secrets to rekindle your christian marriage in the link below.