child abuse and domestic violence
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Hands… with their power to heal…. to reach out…. to teach and guide. Hands that pick up a pen to write....that point in directions...that lift in prayer. Hands that touch and share warmth…that build…create….and inspire the hearts of men.
And then hands that rise to strike…to hurt and take away….that inflict pain.. and deliberately bruise…that leave emotional scars and …and break dreams into a million pieces. How can these very hands that can hold the world in their grip, yield so much suffering? How sublime can man be in his ability to rise…and how low can he fall in his power to destroy!
The following is a letter by a victim of abuse to his mother:
Dear mummy,
I’m writing this letter to you in the hope that you will one day read it and come back to us. Daddy says it’s no use since you’ve gone to heaven and can never return from there, but I still think you will. At least, I hope you will. I remember you telling me once that nothing is impossible if you try hard enough. You just need to try harder mummy.
I have been counting days since you left. 11 months and 4 days. I’m better at math now, as I remember to do my homework like you always wanted me to. I’m sorry I was lazy with you sometimes. Daddy is much more strict. Yesterday I was slow, so he got angry and punished me by hitting each finger of my hand - one for every sum I got wrong. I tried hard not to cry, but it hurt so much that I couldn’t stop. And this made dad even angrier. So, he locked me up in my room without dinner and left me in the dark for a long time. I was shivering mummy. I kept calling for you but you never heard.
Daddy says I’m a bad boy, and that I’m not as smart as I should be. He says I take too long at everything. I also fall over and drop things, and dad doesn’t like it if I’m clumsy. How do you become a smart boy mummy ? I want to be clever like jonny so daddy can be proud of me, and not hurt me anymore. I’m so scared of his hands: they are big and powerful and when they hit, I cannot breathe.
I get very scared at night now and it makes me wet myself in my sleep. I don’t know why it happens. Maybe, it's because I see terrible things in the dark, and even if I close my eyes, they are still there. I have bad thoughts about you too. I imagine a dark ugly monster hitting you and then eating you up. You won’t let him, will you? Daddy hates it when I wet the sheets. That’s when he twists my ears so hard they don’t stop hurting and hits me with his special belt till I get bruises on my back. He says if I tell anyone, he will kill me. Will he really? Last time I wet myself, he made me sleep in the dirty bed for two days, after which I had to wash the sheets myself. It was very hard mummy.
Why doesn't daddy love me? It seems whatever I do upsets him. He told me that it’s because of me that you got sick and left us, and that I am a horrid boy who was never wanted by anyone. Is that true mummy? Am I really horrid? And did I make you go away….tell me please? Because I didn’t mean to and I promise to be good now. I promise to wash my hands before meals, and never to ask for treats again. Daddy says treats spoil children anyway.
I’m so scared of being left alone mummy. Especially in the dark. I’ve asked Santa to bring you to me for Christmas, so you can cuddle me at night the way you used to. Do you think Santa can do that? My teacher says he can, so I’ll be waiting. I miss you so much mummy…especially your soft voice and the way you used to smile at me. No one smiles at me because no one loves me anymore. Please come back. Please don’t let me be with daddy alone. Please don’t let anyone ever hurt me again!
yours, xx
......Tiny hands begging to stop. Wiping away helpless tears. Little fingers wanting to be held… hands that weakly defend themselves… against those that relentlessly fall. Wishes.... left unanswered. Hopes...all in vain. Lost on the breeze…..lost in time itself. Gathering dust in some small child’s life. And pain from which there is no escape.
- Child Abuse - Signs and Symptoms
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Myownworld, You have done a wonderful service here! Thank you for sharing this sad and heart wrenching hub! I cringe at the thought of this; how can someone be so callous and treat a person like that? Too many children are being exploited. I cringe at the thought of the alarming statistics that continue to climb for abuse as well as domestic violence. Abuse comes in many forms. I think if we all committed to intervening for one child, one person, woman (and sometimes but rarely man) at a time; when we know that this is the case or responsibly intuitively discern this may be the case, to step in!
Perhaps we could start a universal “STOP the ABUSE! “ Campaign starting here on hubpages? I realize that one must be careful there are too many wonderful parents that have erroneously been charged. First we must always evaluate our intentions. However , we must start somewhere? Our society is a growing reflection of too many hurt, grieving, mad and angry people who have not resolved their inner conflict. They take it out on others without restraint. This is insidious and dangerous. …. Thank you again for caring and sharing Blessings!
All I can say is we need more people like you in this world. Don't ever stop doing what you do. Thanks.
This touching story can be a good lesson for all parents to treat their children lovingly. Children are not really their absolute possessions, they are entrusted by The Creator to be nurtured.
thank you escritor for seeing and understanding. I believe you are writing a novel yourself? hope one day to read it! cheers for stopping by!
what an insightful comment Deborah! (but coming from someone like you, I'm not surprised!)...yes, I know how you feel...and agree with everything you've said. perhaps, by giving voice to those suffering in this world, it's my hope that somehow, it will better the life of one person at least! I have a feeling that parents who abuse their children, must have suffered in their own childhood too....so if only we could protect all children, happier, better adults would emerge...! anyway, bless you...and thank you for being the wonderful person that you are! x
ehern and agusfanani, thank you for reading and the wonderful comments! much love and peace..!
Well done myownworld, this hub pulled a tear from my eye and at the same time made me mad. Thank you for sharing this wonderful hub and message.
My Dear "myownworld" this hub broke my heart! It was very hard to finish it because it maid the emotions build in to the point of bursting! It takes great courage to write as you do and I do believe the "God of your understanding" is calling you to write such powerful and important messages! Thank you for that courage and for being a fan (and I hope a friend)as I am a fan of yours! I urge you strongly to start writing a book, for you are such a gifted writer! I am not saying these things to flatter you..I am saying things for I believe then to be the TRUTH!
The above writer took the words out of my mouth, that hub did break my heart, I can't really say anymore than that except that hub got to me more than your others, a fan of yours forever, have a good weekend my dear friend xx
Your writing sears the emotions. Settle down to that book soon.
You really do have such an affinity for children, myownworld. It shows in your writing (actually, it screams it). Excellent work.
wesley, my friend, thank you for reading...I know your sensitive heart must have felt pain and anger both for these children. x
highvoltage...you overwhelm me with your comment. who knows if it's some divine power that moves our hearts to feel and our pen to express, but I do know it's something powerful that drives me to write. as it does you, I know. I want soo much to write a book but my family and studies take too much time for now. one day soon, but first it's your turn! ;)
HT..my darling friend...no one is a bigger fan than I am of you...and your work, so come back to the forums...I miss you every day there. all my love and hugs xx
Cally 2 -another special writer! thank you for stopping by! one day...yes! x
dohn, the miracle hubber....! not just children...anyone who suffers...esp. those who do so quietly and never give voice to it...it's they who hold the most special place in my heart. cheers for being here!
myownworld I have to commend you . Because you take on some pretty tough topics and most people do not want to look , but I think we have to . And mainly because your humanity and compassion shine through brightly . I cannot think of anything that repulses me more then child abuse. Thanks for handling this In your tender way .
I dont have kids. So anyone here can help me out with this question. I was walking down the street and this little boy and his mother were walking toward me. The boy threw a bag on the ground and his mother stopped walking and told him to pick it up. Without missing a step this tiny little boy said "no you pick it up" and kept walking. She called to him about three times to come pick up that bag. Finally she bent down and picked up the bag and ran behind him. I know all this because I froze in my tracks when I heard this boy tell his mother no. As I said. I dont have children. I'm old school and would have lit his little butt up. Why parent no longer dicipline their kids? Especially when they act up in public? Is this a form of child abuse or neglect? Allowing a child to have no respect for you and nothing else seems wrong to me. The difinition of discipline is:"training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character" Help me understand the new parenting please.
One of my biggest soft spots is for childern and animals that have been abused or mistreated for no other reason than their blind innocence and someone else's misdirected anger and bloodlust. You seem to hit this soft spot of mine in almost everyone of your hubs. You have a way of giving a voice to the lost innocence of those who have had it ripped and beaten out of them. Your words tell us the horror stories that have been carefully hidden from our ears. Thank you for reminding me how thankful I am for being raised in a loving home and how important it is that I make sure my kids share that same expirence.
tony 0724...that was a lovely thing to say! you really made me smile from my heart. much love...
Friendly, I understand what you're saying....and it's all about a balance really..between indulgence and discipline. A child misbehaving like that (whether in public or home) needs to be disciplined, but the concept of 'time out' (in a safe quiet place under supervision) is way more efffective in the long run compared to physically beating a child.
I'm a mother of two young kids myself, and trust me beating a child never works ; instead, 'quality' time with your child and even a firm 'no' in a lowered voice with direct eye contact does wonders. And the difference between an occasional 'smack' and regular, persistant beating, especially with the aim of humiliating a child rather than teaching them something is what makes the latter 'abuse'. cheers for reading....and questioning these things. I do all the time, and it's the only way we are able to find answers to issues that are way more complicated than we can ever imagine!
And Blood...my dearest friend! I just smiled reading your comment and felt you through your words. I myself have known the most loving childhood in my family and am able to give the same to my children....and I wish...I wish....i could somehow do that for every child in the world! There was a time when I wanted to just drop my life and go to africa and spend my life working for children there....but then i realized that my 'africa' is here with my own two kids....and it's more important to give them a 'home' first! And hey, you're doing great....you're 'there' for your children....which means, in way, you're saving three lives already! all my love xx
I can't go on the forums, I am banned permanently, enjoy the rest of your weekend xx
hi myownworld, that is why I dont like to read your hubs, you make me cry, but I like to read it anyways, like you i have soft spots for children....good day and continue writing, miss you in the forum...
It was really difucult for me to read your hub, not because of my English, but because as a child with my brothers and sisters we did suffer from abuse. We had happy time with my mum, time, that I will never forget, but she couldn`t look after us anymore, because of her health. So we end up with a step mother. That is when the nigthmare started. I really hope that one day soon, they find a medecine or miracle one, to stop all this abusers. Very good hub beautiful writing, lot of emotions. Take care my friend. God Bless you Myownworld.:)
my dear Pretty...always smile, even if it means never reading my hubs again! I know what a sensitive and warm heart you have...here take a hug x (also been reading hubs more than the forums these days, but will be around more soon)
thank you Kiera....I just wish I could somehow take away all your scars and give you a happy childhood again. sending all my love, much healing and happiness your way....x
Another great hub, myownworld, in defense of the world's children. While reading your hub, I couldn't help but think about how miraculous our hands can be, and how unfortunate that many choose to use this gift to cause harm rather than good. Thanks for sharing!
I do not know you, however, your hub made an impact on my mind. It made me think and feel. Thankyou
Money....thank you for your kind words. yes, that's what always strikes me about human nature too...it's ability to give as much as to harm. I knew someone like you would understand...love always -
I'm glad to have you as a fan Nigel....thank you for reading and commenting...will soon make time to read your work too. cheers!
It never fails...I start reading something like this concerning abuse, and it brings up my own stuff that I went through as a kid...and it hurts. I am not a young man anymore, but I never forget what my mother, and I suffered. They say that trials and tribulations sharpen you, and define you...but I don't care who you are...no child or for that matter no one should have to suffer abuse. You carry it lifelong, and the scars run deep! It has taken many years for me to work through it, and countless sessions with a therapist to help me understand it wasn't my fault. It is the skeletons in the closet that keeps a person sick, and it is important to have someone to talk with about it. Thank you for writing this article, and taking the time to reach others who can't forget like myself.
Jess
My heart is with you Jess. Thank you for having the strength to read this and share your thoughts with me. it takes much courage to do that, and I respect and admire you for it. I know I hardly know you, but here's a warm hug for you....also, sending all the healing and love in the world to you....!
This gave me such a chill...
This touched me deeply. We had a wonderful childhood with loving parents, but know people who did not have that same experience. The scars from abuse are very difficult to heal and in some cases last a lifetime. Hopefully your well written hub will get to the right eyes and give them something to ponder when it comes to rearing their precious children. Thank you!
cheers Seriina for stopping by!
Thank you Peggy W for the wonderful comment. your warmth always comes through. much love...and hope for every child in the world! x
Just thought it apt to leave my final comment on hubs with you my good friend, without Forum access Hubs is not worth logging onto, you take care my friend, goodbye xx
I am moved by this hub. thank you so much. blessings to you and all those you are speaking for.
myownworld, thank you for the hug. It's nice to know that the world is not full of wicked people, and it becomes a better place with people like yourself. Your articles continue to touch me. I realize that the heart is in the mind, and that our hand becomes the extension of it when we write. Continue with the gift God gave you, because you continue to touch others worldwide that need you! God Bless.
Jess
HT darling...just a hug. xx (u already know how I feel about all this)
Cheers for reading and commenting Gracious!
Jess thank you to you for the wonderful comment. u really made me smile...! always take care...much love to you my friend!
Brilliant hub, moving and sad.... thank you , you write from the heart.
thank you for reading Vicky and the great comment! (big smile)
thank you for sharing. that letter was heartbreaking. I wish parents would realize that their children are gift, not punching bags. It makes me sad thinking about it.
A well written sensitive hub. thanks for sharing.
Putz B. thanks for reading and commenting! will be checking your hubs soon too!
escritor says:
2 weeks ago
In all of your hubs, your love of others comes through. You have the ability to touch the hearts of your readers with your writing. Thanks again...for another great hub.
Alan