This is a tricky situation, and I don't think there's a cookie-cutter answer for all children. Your daughter is different and unique, so there needs to be consideration for her individuality. My inclination is to say that 10 years old is a bit young for a cell phone, mainly because most 10-year olds are not spending a great deal of time on their own. But it really depends on what kind of lifestyle you lead as a family. Ultimately, you are the one who needs to make the decision, and here are some steps you can take.

1. Sit down with your daughter and talk about why she wants a cell phone. Ask her to be a specific as possible, but make sure you sound genuinely interested, even if you're gut tells you that she shouldn't have one. Ask her open-ended questions instead of yes/no ones, and just listen. This is her chance to really lay it out there and explain her side of the story without having to get defensive.

2. Repeat what you heard back to her by saying "So what I heard you say is that you would like a cell phone because..." This is key in any sort of important conversation where 2 people are trying to understand each other and reach an agreement.

3. Acknowledge that you understand why she wants a cell phone ("So, one of the things you mentioned is that your other friends have them and it would be easier to communicate with them when you are out and about. I can see that. It certainly makes my life easier to be able to do that.")

4. Now you can go in different directions. First, you know your daughter the best and can probably guess if she's ready for a cell phone. For example, if she's disorganized and loses things easily, then you can talk about how she'll need to work on those skills first and then you can discuss having a cell phone. Or, if she has been disobedient and hasn't shown improvement, you can talk about that in the same way. Just make sure you mention these issues without judgement or ridicule. Just state facts. You might wonder why you shouldn't just say 'no' from the get-go; I say that giving her a fair chance to state her case and explain her thoughts while giving feedback is much better, because you're promoting a dialogue and open communication. This kind of interaction becomes more and more difficult in the pre-teen/teenage years. Now, if your daughter is responsible, then you might consider she's ready for a cell phone. If this is the case, my suggestion is to invite her into researching cell phones and plans, perhaps with the same company you are using if that's something you feel is necessary. This is certainly something you can help her with on the internet, and she will need help in getting started.

5. Talk about what she will use her cell phone for. There are phones and plans made excusively for children, and there are limits you can place on minutes, who they can call, and when they can call. One such phone company is called Firefly (www.fireflymobile.com.) This may be a good starter phone, since it has limits that are defined. If she wants something more 'adult' you can negotiate and just say that you need to see that she can be responsible enough with this kind of system first. This separate cell phone service may not be an option if you simply want to add her on to a family plan of some kind, but you will have to explain clearly what the rules and regulations are for the specific plan. You can even pull out the bill and explain what all the itemized charges are.

6. Define rules, set firm limits. This is crucial. If you decide to allow your daughter to carry a cell phone, come up with a contract that both of you sign. This may sound too official or cold, but trust me, it will come in handy if she violates a rule that you discussed. The contract should be specific about what your expectations are, the ultimatums, rewards and consequences. Make sure the 2 of you agree and understand clearly what is written. Talk about how much money you are willing to put in for the cell phone and monthly bill. Talk about what you would like her to contribute financially (as in part of her allowance or in the form of chores.) Give her the original and make yourself a copy. Decide where you will put it.

7. Stick to the contract. If you become lax, all the other things in the contract will be in vain. You can certainly ammend the contract if something needs to be changed, but keep this to a limit as well. Make sure you follow through with the consequences and rewards. I must mention here the true story of a mother who bought her son a car and one rule was that if she ever found any trace of alcohol use in it, she'd sell the car immediately, end of story. Well, the time came where she discovered an empty beer can, and she followed through even though her son insisted his friend left it there. Tough love.