- Pimping yourself

You don't want to whore yourself exclusively to one venue. Do not perform more than once a week and never perform twice a month in the same venue. Never perform over three times in the same city. And Never perform more than ten times in a region in three months.

If you whore yourself you will quickly wear out your welcome. Even your most dedicated fans can't spend money every two days to see you. And even if they do, do you really have enough fresh material to satisfy them?

- Fresh Material, like milk or something

Make it a regular practice to write new material every month. I don't care if it's the best joke in the world.Never say it over a month, record it and play it to yourself if you like it so much. After the month ends, through away all your old material and forget about. FORGET ABOUT IT. With a clear head and fresh start you will alway be one step ahead of your competition as well as challenging yourself so your routines never become dull and played out.

- Things a comedian should never do

Do Not Insult the audience in a very harmful racist, sexist, homophobic way

Do Not stay longer than your set.

Do Not steal material from other comics.

Do Not say you think you're not funny, people will believe you

Do Not say they can go home now, they'll believe you

Do Not get mad about money. This attitude will ruin your image.

Do Not go into comedy only for the money. Chances are there won't be much.

18 - IS THIS SARAH CONNER?

- Comedians workout too

A workout for a comedian is daily. You want to get into habit of doing this habit every single day no matter what until it becomes second nature.

First grab a notepad and a pencil or pen and a piece of paper. You must watch comedy sketches or late-night comedy shows. Critique the jokes you think are not funny and watch how the comic uses their body in telling jokes. Also look at how the comic conduct himself after each failed joke and successful jokes.

Secondly, act as if a writer for a television show. Write jokes you think can make the airwaves on your favorite comedy show. Go for more than one and vary them from topic comedy to dark comedy. This should get you in the routine of what IS funny and what IS NOT funny. You may also want to write large sketches or whole shows to get you in a rhythm of telling a good story.

- Copyright Infringement, Copyrighting material, Registering it with WGA

TO COPYRIGHT

go to your local public library get a form TX and send $30 certified mail to:

Copyright Office

Library of Congress

101 Independence Avenue, S.E.

Washington, D.C. 20559-6000

TO REGISTER WITH THE WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA (WGA)

send your material in a 8 1/2" x 11" manilla envelope. Make sure your registration includes the title and writer's names. Include your social security number, number and your address. The fee is $20. After you send it, they'll send back a receipt as prove of your purchase and you must save this.

WGAw

Registration Department

7000 W. 3rd St.

Los Angeles, CA 90048

- A list of various types of comedy

Blue Comedy - Some your the term "dick jokes". Sex, race and sexual orientation.

Character Comedy - Stereotypes

Dark Comedy - Death, Drugs, Disturbing Subjects

Deadpan Comedy - Telling joke without emotion

Improvisational Comedy - Comedy that is being performed with being planned out

Insult Comedy - Insults at the audience or other performers

Observational Comedy - Things observed in everyday life

Physical Comedy - Body movements and gestures

Prop Comedy - Props and Everyday used objects

Shock Humour - Telling jokes which are taboo, or doing crazy things

Surreal Comedy - humour with bad logic and and weird situations

Topical Comedy - Using current events and news for jokes

Wit Comedy - Using puns and language syntax