Last night I woke up in the wee hours. Tossing and turning, I tried to relax and go back to sleep. However, sleep wouldn't come, so I thought that I needed to resort to a sleep-aid. Maybe that time proven aid of counting sheep would do it. That's counting sheep as they jump over a fence.

So, I gave it a try. The first thing I thought about was sheep in a sheep pen. Whoa, there are 700 billion sheep in there! Calculating that I could count one jumping sheep per second, I figured that, well, there's 3600 seconds in an hour and 86400 seconds in a day. To count all those sheep would take, let's see, 86,400 into 700 billion is 8,101,852 days or 2,197 years. Over two thousand years! - - I can't stay awake that long!

Actually, a person is supposed to fall asleep as the sheep jump over the fence, so I guessed that maybe I should start; maybe I'd go to sleep after counting just the few thousand that are my share. Oh, oh. We've got a problem. As the sheep came up to the fence, they balked. That's right, none would jump. O.K., sheep! Let's see who's boss; call in the sheep dogs and I'll get some action!

Some of the sheep dogs really got into yapping at the sheep, but some of the other sheep dogs started milling about and that seemed to confuse the sheep. Not one of the sheep appeared likely to jump, and some of the dogs were growling at other dogs. Seemed to me that some dogs were "grandstanding". Dog-gone!, there seemed to be a standoff. No cooperation at all! And there I was, still awake!

Well, maybe I should have gotten some outside help. Maybe Little Bo-Peep could have assisted. There she was, outside the pen, wringing her hands and saying that she was disappointed. Hmmm, that didn't seem helpful. Anyway, Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, and didn't know where to find them. Maybe a lot of sheep were shipped to a far away pasture for a "sheep-dip-walk". However, that sheep-dip-walk did not unfold as Bo Peep intended, so I guessed that Bo Peep's help wouldn't have done any good. In all probability, her sheep are still over in that far away pasture, maybe being eaten by far away wolves! Maybe not all are far away wolves; some may be opportunists from who knows where.

As I was considering the sheep jumping situation, someone opened a reserve gate over at the side of the pen. There was sheep-crush as a lot of sheep ran out. Rumor has it that hundreds of billions of sheep will be going through the reserve gate before that gate is better monitored. Nobody seems to care because of the problems of getting the remaining sheep in the pen to jump over the fence. Everyone is focused on fence jumping and the release of all those other sheep through the reserve gate is being ignored in the turmoil. But no problem; there is no sheep shortage. I understand that more sheep can be borrowed from other pastures or, if that fails because other pastures are being plowed up to be planted with ethanol, well, it's all in my imagination which means that sheep can be created at the stroke of the hour.

However, all this activity has made me more awake. I probably won't get to sleep. Even if I did, there might be a nightmare in my dreams and I wouldn't want that. In fact, nobody would want to contemplate a nightmare, not even a congressperson. - - Especially not a nightmare on November fourth!