I wasn't the responsible person I am today before I got pregnant with my first child. I was the happy go lucky kind of person and took things very lightly. I didn't have any future plans and just lived in the moment. I never felt the need to plan because to me, planning for the future meant being ready to face and accept disappointments, and at that time I wasn't ready for disappointments. I didn't have any boyfriends that got really serious and although I was a party girl, I practiced abstinence because I believed that my virginity was the best gift I can ever give my husband and I so I saved myself for that one person who I am destined to spend the rest of my life with. I had boyfriends then, but they weren't serious enough and the farthest I've gone with a boyfriend physically was just a french kiss. I had vices, I was a heavy drinker, not quite an alcoholic but I drank a lot and did it almost everyday during the summer with my friends and I was a heavy smoker, like 2 packs a day kind of a heavy smoker. And I was just 16 then. I started being a "rebel", if you can call me that, some people did because of my lifestyle, when I was 15, but I was a real pain for my guardians when I was about 16. All my vices started when I was 16. Compared to the kids these days, I was fairly decent. I didn't do any drugs and I wasn't arrested and jailed for anything other than curfew and that alone is something I am proud of. Even though I was called the "wild child" then, I know that people I have disappointed then are proud of me now.

Having a baby was probably the best thing that ever happened in my life. I went through a dramatic change when I got pregnant with my first child. I had a daughter, she's 6 years old now. I remember that when I found out I was pregnant I was scared and excited and happy all at the same time. It was like a roller coaster ride. I was overwhelmed with emotions. The first person I told was of course my husband then my sister. And from there everyone knew. I admit, I was probably not quite ready for motherhood then, and I had a hard time giving up my vices, but I made a decision to have sex and I was aware of the consequences that could happen, one of them being pregnant, and I was prepared to face it. I was only 19 when I gave birth to my daughter. I may not have known how to be a mom then, but my mommy skills kicked in the moment the pregnancy test read positive.

I had almost no problems with my first pregnancy. My doctor said that I was 1 of ten women who were lucky enough not to have the common symptoms of pregnancy, such as nausea or morning sickness, dizziness or light headedness and so much more. I also had great skin and I felt I was at my prettiest then. They say I felt pretty because I was pregnant with a girl. Believe it or not, my skin became clearer and people said I was glowing. I looked great despite the fact that I was pregnant and I wasn't very happy. I wasn't depressed or anything, but my husband and I were having quite a few problems with our relationship then, I guess it's safe to say that our relationship was strained during that time because of a lot of factors. I guess we were both a bit overwhelmed with how fast things were going and that made it difficult for us to communicate with each other. Nevertheless, it was a great experience. I delivered via a Cesarean section, because I was 2 days overdue and still I wasn't going into labor. I was induced and kept walking and still no labor pains whatsoever. It turns out my baby had a cord loop, which explains why she wasn't descending into the pelvis, which is why I had to go through a Cesarean section, bikini cut, to hide the scar. She was born February 19, 2002 at 4:15 pm, she weighed 3.2 kilograms.

Everything was different with my second pregnancy. I became one of those ten women who suffered from pregnancy symptoms. I think I had every symptom I never had with my first pregnancy. I had morning sickness that lasted all day long, I felt dizzy and tired all the time, even when I wasn't doing anything. And I had the case of the lazies, which made me want to sleep all day long. I retained water like nothing else and to top it all off, I had pimples, which I never get unless I'm really stressed out, until then. The worse part of it all was that the lines on my armpits and neck became darker and visible and it was not a pretty sight. Needless to say, I didn't feel pretty. I gained weight faster than usual, when I was in my fourth month my doctor said that I have gained 25 pounds already, the average weight a pregnant woman gains throughout the whole pregnancy. I was a bit surprised because I thought that I was heavier during my first pregnancy. So, my doctor put me on a diet and I had to limit my intake of carbohydrates, which meant eating less rice, which is a staple food in our country, which made it hard to avoid it. I felt unsatisfied everytime I ate and only had very little rice, food just wasn't the same, but it was the doctor's orders, she said if I didn't learn to control my appetite, I'd probably have a hard time in giving birth. Although I do sneak a few meals, once in a while. c", Since it has been six years since I gave birth to my daughter, my doctor said that it would be possible for me to deliver normally this time, but it meant not making the baby too big so that I won't have a hard time. In the end, I had another cesarean section, because my pelvis was too small for the baby's head that's why he wasn't descending. My son was born on February 29, 2008 at 8:17 pm, he weighed 3.5 kilograms.

In a nutshell, the experiences I went through in both pregnancies were the complete opposite of each other. Superstition says that when you are having a boy, pregnancy can be more complicated and much harder as compared to when you're having a girl, just cause it's a boy, not much for an explanation, but I guess just having a boy is explanation enough. Boys are indeed different than girls, and changes are seen even before they are born. Superstition aside, I guess every pregnancy is different, it's how we deal with it that's important.

If I were given a choice, I would have chosen to give birth to my children normally, aided only by breathing exercises or lamaze, but I wasn't fortunate to feel the pain of childbirth, well, not the real kind anyway. Although the pain I felt was as real as it can get as well, it's not the same as going through labor. They don't call it labor for nothing. Some say that you don't become a full pledged mother if you haven't gone through the labor of child birth, I don't believe that, but people do say it. I don't think that the basis of becoming a full pledged mother is whether or not she came into labor or was operated on, I believe that to become a mother, the only thing she should know how to do is to love her children unconditionally, understand them when no one else will, care for them, nurture them, raise them equipped with the right amount of self confidence and humility, raise them with good moral values and above all, raise them having faith and believing in God, at least that's what I think, but to each his own, right? When you see that your children are all settled and happy, then you'll know that you have been a good mother.