Dude. How do I keep these women from calling me after I drop them like a sack of bricks? I mean come on. Help me out here. This is ridiculous. I need to block numbers all over the place. Verizon had to add a new level of blocking service from me. The Super-Block'. Please, Cam, help me get my life back!!

Ask Cam Response:

You know, most people would say be honest. Tell her bluntly how you feel and be prepared to hurt some feelings. I think this is a really safe way out and may not always work on the truly obsessed. Here are some unconventional methods that I've found worked everytime:

1. Put a dead fish in the backseat of her car with a note on it that says "I would appreciate it if you didn't call me anymore. You stink!" The sense of smell is strongly linked to memory and whenever she gets into her 93 Carolla she'll be pungently reminded to put the phone down.

2. Break her fingers. A little violent, I know, but how can she dial your number if it's too painful to hold the phone? Just hope you weren't on voice dial. In that case you might also have to punch her in the larynx.

3. Stage your own death. This will take some planning and possibly elaborate props. Be prepared to spend a few greenbacks on this production...If you want it to be convincing. Fair warning, this could make your next random encounter at Starbuck's a little awkward.

I hope this helps.

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