Eye Contact Communication

Eye contact is the number one most important element of your body language.

Think about it – as a society, we put a lot of emphasis on the eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul.

They gazed deeply into each other’s eyes. The criminal had shifty eyes. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. The childcare worker had kind eyes, so I felt safe leaving my daughter with her. His gaze was distant, cold, and emotionless as he confessed to the murder. Her eyes glazed over as she daydreamed about being on vacation.

Let’s face it, we can learn a lot about someone by checking out their peepers.

A well-liked business leader is the one who will walk into the board room and scan the room, making eye contact with each member of the board. They are the boss who will make eye contact and talk with you, not just talk to you while multitasking or (worse yet) staring out the window.

Eye contact lets you know that you’re the focus of their attention, that you’re important to them and they want you to know you are noticed.

Engaging public speakers are the same way. They may have a snazzy PowerPoint presentation, but they’re talking to their audience of thousands as if it’s a small gathering of friends. They’re scanning the audience, making eye contact with the people they are trying to reach with their message.

Can you imagine a stand-up comedian who didn’t make eye contact with the audience? A pop singer who didn’t reach down from the stage and touch the hands of screaming fans?

If you’re not engaging your audience, you won’t be liked. The same is true for flirting – if you’re not engaging the person you like by making steady eye contact, then you’re just another person.

Lock eyes and instantly they will know they matter to you in a big way.

Flirting is one place where eye contact will make or break your game.

Eye contact packs a punch that can’t be ignored. If you’re trying to get someone’s attention, one glance an hour isn’t going to cut it. You’ll be pegged as creepy, and not interested.

Making steady eye contact with someone – while a bit scary if you’re not used to doing it – is the only way to register on their flirt-o-meter.

For starters, eye contact increases heartbeat. Is it a nervous thing? Perhaps at first.

“Oh my gosh, he’s looking right at me. Do I look away? Do I keep looking? What does he want? He’s not looking away...”

Along with the increase in heartbeat is the release of an adrenaline-like substance called phenylethylamine (PEA). This is the same hormone that gets released when we’re in love (or lust, depending on how you roll). That same feeling you get when you’re wrapped in the arms of your lover is getting pumped through her body (in smaller amounts, but still!).

You don’t even need a great pickup line to make her melt. Just hold eye contact. No words necessary. Your eyes can say it all, so let them do the talking.

You hold the eye contact and she’ll fill in the details. Draw her in by letting her know in no uncertain terms that she is important to you. She is your focus. Nobody else in the room matters.

Your point will be received in less than 5 seconds and you’ll have paved the way for a more successful flirting encounter when you approach her to talk.