Repairing Lost Connections

Whatever one may say about the social networking phenomena fueled by websites such as Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter, the amazing power to connect people deserves to be heralded. For those who wish to be found, these welcoming pages are the universal telephone pole to which the metaphorical "lost" flyer may be nailed. New friends made through the intricate interrelationships of a network of associations are, of course, happy side effect of this new drug and unless one has been a complete outcast, the past and the people become as close as a click of a mouse.

The dynamic ability to reconnect us with the past, and to shape the present, is the subject of this dramatically, personal collection of actual correspondence made possible by the website known as Facebook.

The last time I saw Maria, my first wife and mother to my first born son, Anthony, she was holding our son, who was the tender age of three, was before I walked out into the desert of Arizona in search of God, myself, or the answer to life's questions. I knew that she had Facebook account after a quick search of her name revealed her page. I was hesitant to contact her, feeling undeserving and ashamed of my unforgivable act of walking out on them, and I was shaken to my core when she took the first step an reached out from across time to touch me in a message that, in only a few words, took me back, and at the same time, offered a precious glimpse of the man that my son had become. All of this delivered courtesy of Facebook in the following message:

From: Maria Estrella

Subject: Hello stranger

"Betcha thought you would never hear from me again! In case you want to know, your son Anthony is a beautiful man. He is married to a wonderful girl named Chloe, and their anniversary is October 31. Yes they got married on Halloween. He plays guitar (who woulda figured, like father like son I guess) and plays this screaming, sullen death metal with Chloe. I have told him some stories about you and I know he would want to hear from you."

It felt as if the weight of twenty years of shame now could be lifted and by the grace of Maria's forgiveness, I had the opportunity to right at least some of my wrongs, however my deep shame caused me to hesitate, as doubt and sadness for the pain I had caused swirled around in my mind, so it was with ecstatic anticipation that I opened her next gift to me; she told our son that she had found me, and gave him the information he needed to contact his long lost father. Having no Facebook account, he created a page for the sole purpose of making contact with me. That simple act made my heart soar. The message was a divine spark that held the possibility to ignite the fire from which a phoenix may rise and breathe new life into a relationship long abandoned. He reached out his hand, and with one word he proclaimed:

From: Anthony Salerno

Subject: 20 years later

"So…"

Despite the untraditional and possibly impersonal traits of the new electronic, technological, environment, a connection was established using and within this new and exciting space that will continue to be the subject of debate and controversy and in the end, the glorious reconciliation of two lost souls is the ultimate prize. Reunion is the sweet reward of forgiveness. The following is the ensuing exchange, taking place entirely within the confines of Facebook, between the newly reunited. I replied to his message:

From: Anton Salerno

Subject: So…Today is a New Day

“There is not enough words in the lexicon of man to apologize for failing you as a father and a man. I hope it is true that it is never too late to start over, and that in each second, we can transform our lives forever. I must go for the moment. Know that I love you, and beg your forgiveness. I hope that we can begin anew, and I wait for your reply. With love, your father.”

From: Anthony Salerno

Subject: So…Today is a New Day

“I believe in new beginnings, I just don't know how to start them. I guess in replying to your message we're fixing things long since broken. I want to fill you in on my life and I want to learn about yours. My life is full of life changing events even as of recent, I just don't know where to begin. I have to get off now and fix something at work.
Cheers to new beginnings and catching up, Tony”

The entwining nature of the social networking concept also allowed for the observation to this tearful reunion by those who were mutually interested in the progress of the fragile rebuilding of a family. In this message, my son’s new beautiful wife added her thoughts using the technology that my career path that relies on computers and the internet had caused me to embrace. I was surprised to receive her message that read:

From: Chloe Salerno

Subject: Hello

“My name is Chloe, and I am your daughter-in-law. I thought I'd send you a message so we could maybe become better acquainted. I'm not sure if Tony gave you our number. When you have some time you can give us a call; I know Tony would love to talk to you. “

Maria, her behavior I could only call saintly, inquired in a message:

From: Maria Estrella

Subject: Hey there!!

“I was just wondering how your relationship with your son was going??”

I responded with the good news:

From: Anton Salerno

Subject: Reunited!

“We’ve reached out to each other. We haven’t spoken on the phone yet. I hate phones. Lol. Will talk to you soon. Love, Anton.”

Eventually, I did summon the courage to call him. On a Sunday while out for a walk with my four year old son, I called him up and had a long awaited conversation that allowed me the undeserved experience of hearing my oldest son’s voice. At last, with the help of Facebook, I was able to say the words that I had longed for so long to say.

As if continuing a conversation spanning days, Maria offered up, in a short and simple manner that, in some ways, exemplifies the quick and simple language of this new interconnectivity where connections are made at the speed of light, the happiness she felt:

From: Maria Estrella

Subject: Happy

“Oh cool! I’m so glad y’all connected!!”

Though cotton fields, cattle pastures, and oil fields lie between us, there is a place where we can all meet. Sure it can be superfluous and nonsensical or even overwhelmingly mundane and trivial, but if I have a story like this, I know there are more, perhaps far more fantastic than my own. If the measure of a man is truly his friends, whatever self-serving, commercial motivation for these trendy new institutions such as Facebook, the intent of connecting people has allowed me to experience something that I felt would never likely happen: the reunion of a father and son.