Family conflict and what happens when you have family conflict.

Family conflict can arise from a simple arguement with a family member to a full blown ( we do not talk anymore)

Here is what happens when families have conflict that can be resolved.

Senario one: My mom and I one day had a huge arguement over my school work and now we are not talking for the day. I woke up this moring and my home work was not done and I asked for help. My mom asked how come I did not do my home work the night before and I said because I did not feel like it or I was too tired. Mom got mad and started yelling at me. Ok so I stormned out of the house. (In this scenario I could have tried to talk to my mom and work things out instead of making ecuses and storming out when she yelled at me) ( I could have just said that I was being irresponsable and took respnsability for my actions.)

Ok so that was a simple scenario. What happens though when you come into conflict with an extended family member or a spouses family member that can not be resolved. What do you do than?

Scenario Two: I was having a friendly conversation and I was asked about something and all I said was I did not know too much about something that happend all I know is that person is no longer around. Than after that we get a phone call asking that I arrange a meeting to help set up a solution so that some one can see their child. I go to this meeting and 1 week later my spouses family member calls and says that there were some things that were said that I had no idea about(including added information i knew nothing about) The spouses family member now is saying that I am no good and that I am out to hurt every one. ( I admit that I made a mistake and try to explaine that half the information given that was said in the conversation I did not even know about) ( The family member does not accept that and continues to cut you down.) Now your spouse says just ignore it because this person will hold a grudge for the next 5 years. How do you deal with this because really it is not fair that you never got to be heard and now you are made to look bad.

I understand sometimes that things are said that should may have not been said but when you have a conversation that seems harmless can turn into something alot bigger than you think.

Personal experiance I know that some times you need to walk away and not talk to that person but this makes it hard when there are children involved and a spouse that says he would rather not see the person until they come to their senses. This is unfair to alot of people that are involved. Than say a year later that person that caused the trouble contacts the person that has the child with your spouse and says I am moving now I want to to have something to do with your child. How would you react to that. This person is so self asorbed that she does not see the damage that she has already caused and the damage the she is causing again.

Here is what happens in this :

The person or persons involved can have depression, don't want to talk, feel ager and very upset. Now this can cause this person to not want to spend time with their other child as well. How fair is this to the other child because one person can hurt some one that way and have no regard for the other person's feelings or thoughts on anything.

This is all lacking CIA from both parties. ( C I A Is Control Inclusion and Affection) Because these people are so different they can not get along and one person has control at all times. The other holds Inclusion and Affection because the other wants to be apart of the childs life and his families life but the other person controls the situation. We all do this from time to time.

I will be doing a perice on CIA in the near future.