Fear and Loathing on Public Transit
58Hey Mister Bus Driver. Mister job security and great benefits, could you get off your phone and drive with both hands. Doesn't seem like too much to ask given that I pay your salary twice, once through state and federal taxes and again when I pay the fare. Thank you sir may I have another. And oh by the way, I saw you tail gate that cyclist. Threatening a cyclist with a bus just proves how small and useless both your mind and your cock are you worthless old shit sack.
Hey stupid thug wanna be kids. First let me say this isn't racially motivated since I see no variation in the level of stupidity between a cracka thug, an afro thug, or cholo thug. Sorry you all are too stupid to think for yourselves rather then accept a life of senseless greed and violence. Fortunately you kids are too big of cowards to take a beat down so any conflict seems to come to drawin' yo' nine which usually means there will be one less pussy ass thug wanna be in the world. Thank you for proving Darwin's theory dumb as, ashes to ashes. I also think it is unfortunate that you all are apparently stone deaf and thus have to listen to what you seem consider music at a level so high that I can make out the lyrics from the opposite side of the back bench. I would ask you to turn it down but then I would to listen you talk loudly to your idiot friends about 'this hatin muthafucka righ' here' so I'll just stumble next time the bus lurches and spill my hot coffee on your face. Not like you can get uglier or dumber looking.
Hey there old man at my connecting stop. I was not aware that advanced age gave you the right to light up in the bus shelter despite clearly posted signs. Yes the cartoon of the cigarette with the hash line through it means you have to get your wrinkled ass off that bench and step outside the shelter to burn that death stick. Yes even in the rain. If you are in that much of a hurry to die pneumonia will help speed up the process. What will also speed up the process is continuing to force me to breath your foul vapors. I quit smoking cigarettes for a reason. If you continue to smoke them right where I am sitting I will have to consider that a chemical assault that could result in organ failure or death which means I will feel obliged to defend myself using methods that could result in organ failure or death. Just because your life is almost over doesn't give you the right to shorten mine, only I have that right and I don't need your fucking help.
Hey so-called public service that tries to operate like a corporation. Yeah take my tax dollars with one hand then the money out of my pocket with the other. Don't fix half the ticket validators or vending machines at the train stops. Hike the rate by a quarter a ticket in one shot because of the fuel price hike but don't consider dropping the rate now that the fuel price has gone back down; really I don't need my money. Feel free to cut service as more and more people reach the economic threshold where having a car becomes an unreasonable expense. Overcrowded buses and trains should be packed full of stressed people with nothing to lose and short tempers at all times.
Is it any wonder most movies with a riot scene all show a burning public bus.
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That would have gotten riots here since about 75% of the population use PT and of them more then half are completely dependent on it.
There isn't any public transport where I live. I don't know what I'll do when my old car finally dies. Cycle. Walk?
I lived in a no transit area in North Carolina. You couldn't cycle there either gravel sholders sloping steeply into ditches bordering 2 lane rural 55 mph unposted roads. Cycling = Suicide.
Fuck it. I just don't go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.
I have to get out or I will go nuts and broke. Fuckin Capitalism!
Very funny hub. I rarely take public transit but then I live in California where we have to drive cars to go from point a to point b and make the oil companies rich in the process.
You fuckin' heartless bastard, let the old man enjoy his smoke. In your favor, he's only expediting his death sentence, one more seat available or one more space between you and the runny nosed kid sitting next to his fat mama who cares more about who she's calling on her five hundred dollar cell phone. You may not have three feet of space between you and the cholos who think old spice is still in, but its better than nothing, especially when the AC on that fuckin bus goes out and all the transit line thinks its okay everyone sweats on each other, but the lard of a driver gets his own personal fan to cool his balls. It just ain't fair.
Somewhere there's a gig missing two crazy, smart-ass bad boys: the Horatio and Go-Toad Show. Great hub, H! Great comment, GT!
GT- Actually the thing I left out was the question to the company: Now that you are buying these new and improved buses whose windows only pop in emergencies and I can't open for fresh air anymore does that mean people who don't bath and those that bath in a gallon or more of fragrance are going to be banned permanently from the buses. If not I am bring my personal improvised window opening device (Read: half-a-brick in a sock) on all new buses. This new stink rule goes double for old man at connecting stop. If you can't finish a fucking cigarette dickhead then throw the butt out or don't get on the bus; do NOT expect me to endure the gagging odor of the half smoked ciggie you stubbed and put back in your pocket for the next 4 miles. I will endure it no better then you would endure a severe and repeated stabbing.
I knew I forgot something.
Oh and it's a matter of I don't feel I should have to stand in the rain to avoid his smoke. I am seriously this close to grabbing the next old man that sits down in the shelter next to me and lights up, by his shirt collars, yanking him out of the seat spinning him around and screaming "This is SPARTA! Before kicking him in the chest and sending him flying into traffic. It's not a healthy rage level.
Good Hub!!
No, it is not a healthy rage level. Perhaps a smoke would calm your nerves. Muhahahahhahacoughcough (his laugh sputtering into a cough from too many deathsticks)
Well done. Metal boxes full of half-repressed anger rolling on underfunded hardware and run by overpaid no-class zombies often into each other. My quality of life plunges ten percent each time I step onboard. But I'm not bitter.
Kinda makes me thankful that my worst traffic problem is being stuck on a two-lane winding road behind a not-street-legal tractor going 15.
My worst traffic nightmare was being stuck in a Wal-mart dependent rural exurb where there were no buses and no safe place to ride a bike so you had to drive a car and there by risk getting stuck behind a not street legal tractor going 15mph on winding 2 lane highway.
Touche.
Nobody bothers me anymore....started carrying a sharpened metal cane.......I pretend to have a nervous tic...look at them crosseyed and blabber about the Manson family. I think I fit in now!
I used to be a firm believer in urban camoflauge theory; if I look like a street crazy the others won't ask for money.
I just give them ten bucks...get their social security numbers and make them ghost employees that get paid ten grand...on paper! :)
Well I haven't rode a bus since before I had a driver's license and that was on my 16th B-day ....so about 12 years ago or more. But I remember how pissed off I would get at everyone on the bus and the Trolley in San Diego too they purposely try to get all close and up in your personal space...And then the weirdos would follow me home like psychos.. My dad made me carry a sharp ass metal nail file for protection...it works!! =) . Never had to pay for the bus though...I had a friend who worked for the transit and I would always get free tickets and transfers...it pays to be beautiful!!!! =)
You are creating a strange race of hobo day traders; gibbering unwashed fiends with amazing untouched credit scores. With internet access in the libraries they are probably responsible for the collaspe of the economy as they spread their syphelletic madness into the nasdaq. Are you happy now?
Oh come on! I'm thinking of building a church for them with nice comfortable steps. They will get to put ten percent of their beggings into the investment kitty. Everybody needs a retirement plan. I will invest ten pecent of their ten percent into Malachi Christrian Inc. Investments. In about three hundred years they will draw 200 bucks a week! I call it Capireligionism.
I will have to become homeless again and infiltrate your capitalistic theocratic slave based economy and slowly destroy it from within. No co opting the hopeless they are the key to the rebellion.
Go ahead...my accountants address is P.O. Box....Box! Cleveland...OH....in care of Berney. I do all my business through Berney....I love a challenge!
I tried the street camo look in Philly back in the Crack epidemic days. Didn't work with the crack heads but the respectable people sure gave me elbow space.
old people think they own it all don't they!!
great hub dude
CD
PM- Part of real urban camoflauge is the aura of confident craziness. Once you are secure and fearless in the knowledge that you are crazier then any other motherfucker out there walking around town even crack heads clear the sidewalks. I don't even have to dress like a bum anymore. I am the wolf amidst the sheep and the sheep have learned to cleara fucking path.
CD- Awesome Name! And actually a large portion of Old People do own it all either financially or intellectually. The latter group being cool to sit down share a beer, a bowl, or just a few hours with on account of they have stories. The ones I am talking about, are the bitter old bastards who've led empty lives, who have come to the end of their path with nothing to show for it and there for accord nothing and no one, including themselves, any modicum of respect. They are stuck in a stalemate with death; they are not brave enough to take the final plunge and life isn't done torturing them. To resolve it they tempt the ire of the world around them daring death to take them in any form. It is a satisfaction I have yet to give them.
EYEAM4ANARCHY says:
7 months ago
A quarter fair increase? You got of easy.Try a 60% increase with no difference in services, enacted after the fuel prices had already went down like these scumbags in Vegas did.