Dating Advice: Getting married

The Question:

Cam, I met the girl of my dreams and I want to get married, but I'm not sure if I should...What do you think?

Ask Cam Response:

**If you have a friend who is about to get married, it's imperative that they read this article before signing on the dotted line.

I'm not a betting man, especially when it comes to my life, so why would I tell someone else to enter into a contract where the deal has a 50% chance of falling through. Take love out of it. It's a bad business decision. What's mind blowing is that others will go through the unnecessary process when they can get the same thing, no strings attached. So...DON'T DO IT!

Marriage is for women and it's outdated. It used to be that the wife would stay home and raise babies. Marriage was like insurance for her. If the shit hit the fan, she would get half and for good reason. Nowadays, women are working, and raising the kids goes back and fourth between the mother, father, television, daycare and grand parents(if you're lucky).

The gays should be thanking their lucky stars that the're being denied the right to get married. It's hard to imagine that in the future the gay population will look back and say "That George W. Bush was really onto something with his overly righteous agenda. Why didn't we listen?"

There are some awful bonuses that also come along with marriage. Let's explore these little "blessings" further.

1. The engagement ring. "A diamond is forever." I hope so, cause marriage isn't. A diamond ring does not symbolize love. It symbolizes poor worker conditions, an immoral marketing campaign, shallow girl-talk and defeat. "Oh my God! Suzy, your ring is so beautiful! Your fiance must really love you. In fact, your ring is bigger than mine...Does that mean your fiance loves you more than mine loves me? I'm such an idiot! I knew I should have denied that cheap faggot's proposal. Oh well, I'm a shallow cunt." I got news for you...Diamonds are not rare. DeBeers only releases small quantities to keep the prices high. Did you know we can make diamonds now? Too bad we can't manufacture fidelity.

2.The Wedding- Guys don't give a rats ass about this, but they're stuck biting a portion of the cost. Weddings are entirely for women. "Oh look at the beautiful bride! Her dress cost $15,000. She's SO BEAUTIFUL!." And there's the groom, in a tux that cost $100 to rent. The whole ceremony is centered around the bride because we all know the groom got suckered into it and we don't want to rub salt in the wound. Why do you think men have debaucherous bachelor parties and women have bridal showers? Men get neutered, and women relish in the fact that they're master manipulators. It's like they're used car dealers and you just got that hunk of crap for a "steal!" Why did you go and buy a completely undependable car for a million dollars over sticker price when your 1990 Honda Accord is running just fine? Guess what girls...I'm not buying! The whole thing is so one sided it makes my stomach hurt knowing that men do this willingly.

3. In-laws. Guess what...You just got another set of parents and siblings that don't love you, but will have an impact on your life, your children, and your relationship with your wife. Are you good enough for daddy's little girl? I'll answer that for you. No, you're not. And you never will be, so get used to it bub! You'll be forced to endure vacations, holidays, random visits and many meals with people who bring out the worst in you. No matter how much you despise these people, you will always have to play the role of the elegant diplomat or you'll get your ear gnawed off by your wife. Sounds sweet right?

If you want to have happy life with your partner do the things that truly matter. Spend time together experiencing new things, treat one another with compassion and understanding, enjoy meals with your friends, travel to the places you've always wanted to go, raise children in a secure loving environment, encourage each other to follow your passion, fill your home with music and laughter, accept your partner's faults and be patient. Sounds great right? You don't need marriage for any of it.