five
62
five a.m. and I find myself drifting
into the heart of darkness
too late wary of the messiah who
carries his own nails in his pocket
I remember on bad nights
they were stacked five deep
lifeless black silk pajamas
in the jungles of my lai
we fed them the poison but
it's my throat that burns now
on those fearsome nights
when I hear song my massacre
years later righting the wrongs
I practice social justice to atone
where being part of the solution
became part of the problem
glory hallelujah, father lifted me
we sang dreams of the sacred heart
but it was the dark heart I married
an accidental wedding gone awry
where we all drank the bitter fruit
of one man's darkest passion
drank the revelation revolution
taken to the final sacrifice
I remember on bad nights
they were stacked five deep
lifeless colourful summer clothes
in the jungles of guyana
from pinkville to jonestown
I travelled, from vietnam to guyana
the working man's sunglasses
covering the thousand-yard stare
I saw hell in rebellion once
I saw revolution evolution come
I saw the people in their temple
but now all I see are the numbers
five five five
5July09
""After the airstrip shooters arrived back in Jonestown, Tim Carter, a Vietnam war veteran, recalled the shooters having the "thousand-yard stare" of weary soldiers." - link
I watched a documentary the other night about Jonestown. One of the survivors of Jonestown was a Vietnam war veteran named Tim Carter. Mr. Carter said that after being in Vietnam, he wanted to try to improve the world and this is how he ended up being involved with Jim Jones' People's Temple and through that, ended up at Jonestown.
I thought about this man for a long time, who came from the war within which atrocities like My Lai occured, who was so devastated by the damage that he wanted to be a part of helping to make things right. He found Jim Jones there preaching a new path of social equality and good deeds straight to Heaven.
How horrendous it must have been to come from one place, travel miles and years away, and end up back in the same place. Mr. Carter was in Vietnam trying to do the right thing according to his patriotic beliefs; then he was in Jonestown trying to do the right thing according to his spiritual beliefs, halfway around the world decades later. Both times he ended up with death, devastation and bodies.
Most of us have gone down the road of good intentions gone wrong, but most of us have not had consequences of this nature surround us. My heart went out to this man with his good intentions and his awful destiny and this poem found me in my sadness for him.
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
great poem on the battle at jonestown sweety another job well done as usual your talent is truly unmatched. :) ill call soon
he is still alive and still carries it. you should have seen his eyes, gypsy.
thank you C, this one I knew from the moment I watched the doco must be written. my heart goes out to this man with such a terrible fate.
this poem is a dark thing, but it's more than that too, if you could see him through my eyes with all that pain and confusion, in the interviews.
yeah, give me a call, not sure what my sleeping hours will be today, though.
Deep and dark, yet good poem. What a jouney to say the least. Thank you for laying the story out as well!
you are most welcome and thank you. I appreciate your comments and thoughts.
WOW that was heavy. My uncle went to Nam and was never the same either.
All I can say about Jim Jones is that the gift of discerning of spirits is never fooled and can see into the hearts of men what they are really about. Yet this gift is rarely sought out or developed because most people would rather believe their perception which is mostly an illusion.
It's easier than embracing the TRUTH...seeking truth and finding it in the PERSON OF MESSIAH shatters our perceptions and the illusions that they come from.
Truth is reality and dwells above all else. Not your truth or my truth as people go around saying like so many parrots...but THE TRUTH...that TRUTH is a PERSON who possess all TRUTH.
1. Fighting against the Truth and embracing the Truth, both are painful, only one is also peaceful.
14. I still have many dark places within my soul and into these places, I am still afraid to go.
36. Your thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions, education, the way it’s always been done, the majority vote and even the facts you have embraced. THE TRUTH STANDS ALONE and is not changed by any of the above; wisdom and understanding dwell in a secret place.
Good hub.
A great poem, I thought it reflected this one persons life, and broken physic wonderfully, Though it is a dark and sad it also reminds us no war ever has a happy ending.That all are the victims, so no side wins. I have hared it said, in taking a humans life you lose apart of yourself, forever. It is no wonder that looking into this mans face and seeing in his eyes all that pain and confusion. Yet behind that hidden from our sight is the Horror and terror he was witness to and apart of. For those of us that have never been in, or apart of a war, we simply can not know or imagine what it would be like. I cry within when I hear of every new war that is to be fought, for I know it means thousands of life's will be destroyed, torn apart, and those that are not killed, and return to their homes, are a ghost of their former selves.
quietness, thank you, I'm glad you were able to connect with the man and his soul and even the part of me that was in there, always seeking truth.
What a wonderful poem and connection. thanks for this awsome poetic hub and as always, don't drink the kool-aid.
hugs
dori
war is indeed a terrible thing, watchtower and to then follow that up by following a failed savior and 'revolutionary mass suicide' is hard to imagine. I like social causes and experiments and because I do I have a lot of sympathy with those that wanted to believe in something they could touch. Who doesn't, I guess.
You have a heart of gold.
dori
fortunerep, thank you for reading and I'm glad you liked the poem. I think for us, we don't need to find another human to acccess our own goodness. it's in ourselves. we need that knowledge, big eyes to see truth with and a closed mouth to the koolaid.
Very haunting. On first read I saw it as a general indictment of war's carnage and personal devestation. The explanation at the end clarified/amplified Mr. Carter's personal journey of survival. Read it again and saw the parallel between My Lai and Jonestown come to the foreground.
Your poetry is lovely. MM
thank you MightyMom. I deliberately mixed it all up. People in My Lai died of torture and murder, people in Jonestown drank the cyanide, but yes, all of them died for someone's mistaken belief in their own rightness. I think the details might differ but the suffering is the same.
This man in particular, there is no clear enemy. He lost his wife and baby at Jonestown to a mistaken belief. How terrible.
Poor man but at least he tried to make a difference
yes, I credit him with good intent, too. it has to count in there somewhere, that what he was trying to do was good, even if the results were awful. my heart went out to him.
Amazing poem. My favorite part;
too late wary of the messiah who carries his own nails in his pocket
thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts
Beautiful art! I love it. Sad but true.
thanks for stopping in to comment. I saw that doco and it stayed with me. I had jotted down a few thoughts at the time and this is what came out of that.
Gee whiz there seems to be some super duper poems going around at the moment, and that was super too. :)
I'm so glad you stopped in and read. Thank you, blondepoet~ Yes, hubpages poets have been delighting me also recently. A lot of talent is gathered here presently.
|
Four Hours in My Lai
Price: $7.79
List Price: $17.00 |
|
My Lai: A Brief History with Documents (The Bedford Series in History and Culture)
Price: $70.00
List Price: $85.00 |
|
In the Year of the Pig
Price: $17.85
List Price: $24.95 |
|
Placido Domingo: Songs of Love
Price: $2.05
List Price: $17.98 |
|
Jonestown - The Life & Death of Peoples Temple
Price: $11.25
List Price: $24.99 |
|
Seductive Poison: A Jonestown Survivor's Story of Life and Death in the People's Temple
Price: $9.21
List Price: $15.95 |
|
Guyana Tragedy: Jim Jones Story
Price: $7.30
List Price: $14.99 |
|
Slavery of Faith: The untold story of the Peoples Temple from the eyes of a thirteen year old, her escape from Jonestown at 20 and life 30 years later.
Price: $14.34
List Price: $17.95 |
Gypsy Willow says:
5 months ago
Great poem now you have explained it. What a terrible curse this man carried.