Top Ten Things I Love About Myself, a List of Healthy Narcisism

The New Year is here, and it’s a time to think big, to try new things, to make resolutions, and most importantly (and of course most difficulty) to keep those resolutions. My Mom and I had a discussion about resolutions recently and I told her all I really wanted was to be happy.

“You’re not happy?” she asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“What do I have to be happy about?” I asked. “I have nothing going for me to be proud of.”

I was having one of those monthly moments of self pity and self doubt that flood girls my age from time to time. My Mom hugged me and turned my frown around like no one else can. She reminded me that I was a strong woman with so many accomplishments under my belt and so many more ahead of me. I graduated cum laude last spring with a BA in English and Film & Media Studies. I played Division III softball all four years and made All-Conference two of those years. I moved to Los Angeles on a whim upon graduation and obtained a job as the Executive Assistant to a Hollywood Movie Producer within a month of arriving, a feet to be proud of in such a cut throat business, a business that most of the time I question my ability to survive in. I decided to turn my moment of self pity into a moment of self praise, a moment to stop and recollect on the things I have accomplished, no matter how small. Here is the list of the top ten things I love about myself. I encourage you to write a list such as this for yourselves, to reflect on the little things and your small accomplishments in life.

10. I’ll try anything once before making an informed decision on whether I like that particular thing or not. This allows me to experience things that many people hold themselves back from because of social or personal fears. Please free yourself from fears, and you’ll find that life has so much to offer you.

9. I taught myself how to knit one year ago and have become fairly proficient at the craft. Teach yourself something new. The end results will astonish you for the main reason of knowing that you made something beautiful, something precious, something uniquely you.

8. I can honestly say that my Mother is my best friend. This is something that not many women can say, and I am proud to call my Mother my partner in crime. Please make sure the woman that raised you knows the place that she holds inside your heart. One phone call to say “Thank you” can change her life forever. Same goes for the man that raised you. I tell my Daddy I love him all of the time, and I can hear him smile over the phone.

7. I met my best girlfriend when I was in kindergarden, and to this day we remain best friends. It was difficult for me to get along with girls growing up. I was tomboyish, forever wearing dirty jeans with a baseball glove attached to my right hand. She was polar opposite, discovering boys and lip gloss at a very early age. But we understood that our friendship went beyond make-up, boys, and popularity, and we stayed best friends throughout the years. Cherish your friends and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and make new friends. Moments are best when shared with friends.

6. I didn’t spend all of my time in college studying in the library. I got great grades, but never tied myself down to my books. I believed that to live a full college experience, I needed an academic life as well as an athletic life and a social life. On weekends I tossed my books aside and had fun, went out, I lived my life. I encourage everyone in college to excel academically, but please take time for social activites. Healthy hearts, minds, bodies, and souls need healthy balances in activites. Remember, fun is one of those activites. It doesn’t hurt to cut loose from time to time.

5. I don’t feel the need to get along with everybody. I have met a few people in my life who absolutely need to be loved by everyone. The fact of life is that there are millions of people on this planet, and not every one of them is going to like you. Understand that this is okay. Living your life in constant fear that you’re not pleasing everybody else only leaves you not pleasing yourself. Love yourself above all others and the rest will fall into place.

4. I don’t go to the gym everyday. I used to be obsessed with exercising and being as thin as I could be, but nowadays I enjoy Chipotle when I want it and work out to be healthy instead of skinny. There are more things to life than being a size 2. Allow yourself to indulge once in awhile. Remember always, everything in moderation.

3. I’ve loved and lost and loved again. Bravery is key in letting yourself love someone in a way in which you love no other. I admire those who love their partner with everything they have. It takes guts to give your heart so fully to another human being. I’m proud to say I’ve had a broken heart, but I’m still kicking, heart’s still beating. Just as I said in number three, learn to love yourself first. Loving others comes easier when you fully accept yourself. Please note that it comes “easier,” not “easy.” Nothing worth fighting for in life comes easy.

2. I wear what I want to, even when, especially when Vogue says it’s “so last season.” I have had the same pair of jeans for three years and I will have them for three more (barring tears, stains, etc., etc.). They fit me right, they’re perfectly worn in, and they make my ass look like gold wrapped in denim. Also, leopard print looks sexy on me, and I’ll wear it forever. Wear what makes you happy, and most of all, what makes you comfortable.

1. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I have a long list of things that I know for sure I don’t want to do. The world is full of opportunities if you’re brave enough to take them. Don’t be scared of not knowing exactly where your life is headed. Nothing is predetermined. Make your own paths, plural, meaning try lots of things in order to know that you’ve found what you truly love.

Life is short, live yours well.