Frugal Gift Giving for Groups: Family, Friends & Co-Workers

Big families and wide social circles are among life's greatest blessings. On holidays and other gift-giving occasions, we all want to pamper our people. Here are some tips for enjoying the good times ... without the pain of a months-long financial hangover.

When gift-giving time rolls around, my ad-washed brain turns to cars, computers and fancy jewelry, and my checkbook laughs hysterically.

Where's the fun in that?

The point of a celebration is ... to celebrate, and enjoy each other's company. Planning and giving involve creative tension, which can be downright enjoyable. Stress, however, is not.

Talking to Your Group

If you plan to trim down your own giving, it's wise to let them know in advance. Not only does this cut down on disappointment and misunderstandings, you now have a chance to turn it all around. (HINT: What do you get when you take the "d" out of "fund?")

The best time to break the ice is a month or so before folks start shopping.

If your group is into traditional give-until-it-hurts giving, or one-upsmanship, it may seem awkward to start the conversation about simpler giving. But Be Warned -- you may get bowled over by explosive sighs of relief.

Even if they don't go for it this time, the ice is broken. You are free to be frugal without letting them down, and so are they. After another round of post-gifting bills, they may be more receptive next time. (In fact, one of them may grab all the credit for coming up with the idea, but that's a whole 'nother Hub.)

These ideas can be mixed up or used alone. You can use them yourself, or get your whole group in on them. 

For groups, all of them share one Golden Rule: No Cheating! 

• Good Deed Certificates: Make your own fancy gift certificate, and give the gift of a chore or service or a shared activity. (But be sure to follow through!)
• Price Limit: Prices are limited to a range based on everybody's comfort levels. Really-really low price limits can inspire wild heights of creativity.
• Re-Gifting: Got an unwanted gift? Give it away! This is so much easier than standing in a return line. Proceed with caution, however! You do not want to return the gift to the original giver, or to someone who's likely to spill the beans to them.
• Thrift-Store Treasure: If the group goes for it, it ain't tacky. Plus, it may be the only place to find that out-of-print book or that piece of retro gear.
• Dollar or 99-Cent Stores:   I can't believe I originally left these wonderful retailers off this Hub!  Fortunately, fellow Hubber Dorsi fills in that gap with this terrific Hub:  Save Money at Dollar Stores. 
• Homemade: The classic approach, and if you are a crafty bunch, it can be downright classy! And it's a great way for kids to get in the action.

Playing games with these ideas ups the festivity to the next level. Gift exchanges spice up a family gathering or potluck party.

One of my very favorite gifts from Christmas past is a wind-up metal blimp on wheels. With all its sharp edges, it's gotta be listed in the Top Ten Scary-Silly Toys of all time.

But it's my kind of scary-silly. Plus, I won it off my boss. Sweet!

White Elephant Gift Exchange

Every year, sometime in mid-December, the bosses in our office take the staff out for a fancy Christmas lunch in mid-December. The restaurant is always fancy and the food, superb. But the true centerpiece of the feast is the White Elephant exchange. (It's where silly blimps come from.)

The original "white elephants" were strange gifts that were a real burden to possess and care for. For family, friends and co-workers we can skip the burden part, mostly. The point is, this is not the place for heartfelt giving. Cut-throat is a little more like it.

The Gifts

• Gift prices should be pretty low. A maximum of $5.00 or $10.00 is typical. This is also a great opportunity to unload thrift-store treasures or to re-gift, assuming the original giver is not in attendance. Going over the price limit spoils the fun.
• Gift choices can run from the frugally elegant to tacky to obnoxious. (Try not to go outside your group's obnoxiousness-tolerance level.) A mix is best, but ya takes yer chances.

The Game

You'll need: scraps of paper, a hat/box/paper bag, a coin and (...duh...) gifts -- wrapped. You'll also need someone to collect the gifts. And you might need a scoresheet. 

1. As wrapped gifts come in, the gift collector writes a number on a scrap of paper (starting with "1" for the first gift, and so on). The scrap goes into the hat/box/paper bag.
2. When all the gifts and gifters are ready, each gifter pulls a number from the hat/box/paper bag.
3. Flip the coin to see if low or high numbers go first.
4. First turn picks out a gift -- and unwraps it.
5. Second turn has a choice. They can either pick out a new gift and unwrap it, or grab the first one. If second turn grabs, first turn gets to choose another gift.
6. Third turns and later can either choose a new gift or grab any unwrapped gift.
7. You can limit the number of times a gifter gets grabbed from and/or times that a gift gets grabbed. A scoresheet comes in handy here. Check off each gifter's name so s/he won't suffer from over-grab, and/or list each gift so it doesn't get grabbed too often.

Feel free to dream up your own variations!

Secret Santa (by any name) Gift Exchange

Maybe your group is just too large for everyone to gift everyone else. And maybe you wanna gift 'em, not beat 'em. Here's the plan for you. Each member chooses one other member, and gives them an anonymous gift. Everybody gets a gift, and nobody goes broke. (And you don't have to call it Secret Santa if you're not into that sort of thing, or it isn't Christmas.)

The Gifts

Whatever you feel like giving. Your group might want to choose a theme or set a price limit. Or not.

The Game

1. About a month or two before the holiday or event (folks need time to shop), invite everybody to the game. Add every name that accepts.

2. Ideally, everybody gets together and draws a name out of a hat/box/paper bag. Far-flung families may find this impossible. Luckily, some free services, like Elfster, will scramble the names and e-mail them out for you.
3. Come gift-giving time, all is revealed.

This is a family-type dilemma.

Babies and very young children, of course, can't play along. Family elders sometimes won't.

Here's where proper planning can leave everyone with a bit of wiggle-room. If a big, flashy present is required -- or just too tempting to pass up -- splitting the cost can make it painless, or at least doable.

Babies grow out of everything in weeks (or hours!) and they don't read designer labels. Nothing wrong with quality hand-me downs or thrift store treasures. Homemades can become heirlooms.

Small children, alas, are likely hooked in to our consumer culture, along with every kid they know. But they don't have to know their gifts came from the thrift store, eBay or Craigslist now, do they? (On the other hand, a little knowledge may be a good thing.)

Family elders who are strict traditionalists, and who already have everything, pose a double dilemma. To honor them, try giving a group gift plus a handful of Good Deed Certificates (plus, maybe, fruit or flowers, especially if someone's got a garden).

Happy celebrating!