If you've ever gone through a break up, I know how it can feel. When you love someone very much, it's hard to move on. In this article I will explain situations, hopefully similar to yours so this will help you. Going through a 5 year relationship on and off myself has been tough. He was my first love and I know I could never love anyone else, or so I let myself think that.

1. See the first step you must do after a break up, is let that person go. I know it's the hardest thing to do, but you must do it if you ever want to get back together with them. Take the time to think about why you broke up in the first place. Was it because of cheating? Was it because of arguing and fighting? Just not getting along? What caused the arguments? What bothered you in the relationship? Did you talk about it with them?

2. Take this time to work on yourself. Were you the cause of it? Sometimes we do things without realizing it. I know I myself tend to do things, as had he. Nobody is perfect, but it is important to realize and admit to what you did. Try to focus on working on whatever it was. One of the biggest keys in relationships is communication. Both of you need to have an open mind and be able to talk and listen to one another when there is a problem. Don't ignore something that is bothering you, if you do that, you will harbor negative feelings against your other until one day you explode. It's not a healthy thing to do.

3. Stay positive and confident. Find a new hobby or work on a goal. Don't let your ex see you down and depressed. this is a turn off to most. If your ex sees you off having a good time and being happy, he/she will remember the good times you had and might wonder what you're up to that makes you so happy. They might even think you moved on and are seeing someone else. This makes them jealous because they want what they can't have. It's a human's natural instinct.

4. Don't call your ex or send them messages. This is a huge turn off and will only push them further away. You want them to come to you, not the other way around. Nobody likes a desperate clingy person. Being confident and positive is what attracts others. If your ex does call you to hang out, do not make the mistake of sleeping together. You want to take it slow and not rush into it. I know it's easy to get back into old routines, but it's better to start off slow as friends again. Make them realize why they fell in love with you in the first place.

5. Don't look at their pages on the internet or any of that sort. The last thing you want to do is see them flirting with someone else back and forth through messages. This will only dishearten you and doesn't help with getting over them or moving on. Remember, you need to move on and get over them before you can get back together. Always remember that time will heal all wounds. How ever long it takes, it could take a year, but ask yourself, is it worth it? If so, take your time, let this encourage you and start back out slow when the time comes. It will all be worth it in the end.

6. Don't jump into another relationship if you do decide to date and not get back together. This is called a rebound relationship and is the worst kind. Someone always ends up hurt. I've had it done to me and it is the worst feeling. It's also not a good thing to do to someone else. If you're the kind of person that gets lonely and always has to be in a relationship, then I'm sorry. I know it's hard, but if you ever want to succeed in a lasting relationship, you need to learn to be on your own first. Know that you can be ok when you're alone. You can't always depend on someone else, it can ruin a relationship. You must learn to walk on your own two feet, this will attract someone. You must walk beside your partner, not behind or in front of. It's ok to be there and help each other out when needed, but you can only depend on yourself. Do this and you will have a lasting relationship.

7. So basically you are playing the waiting game. There isn't much you can do. If it's been a long time and over a few months, I would suggest sending them a letter, explaining what went wrong what you realized and admit to any wrong doings. Tell them it was best and that you don't harbor anything negative against them from the past. You need to sound mature and as if you're moving on. Whatever you feel comfortable writing and then send them the email. After that, don't do anything else. If they do respond and want to talk, then proceed, but only if they initiate it. This is all optional of course and is up to you. I actually did this and after a while he finally responded. If he/she decides they want to talk and hang out, do so as friends.

Well I hope this article can help others. Doing this helped me get back together and help rebuild my relationship. Remember, stay positive and start back out slowly as friends. It took me a year to start talking with him again because of how much of a mess the relationship was, but we both realized how much we loved each other and it all worked out. Why? Because I didn't give up and I had positive mental thinking about getting him back.

Good luck!

~Serenity