Here's the bedtime problem: your child does not want to go to bed but you want him to... desperately. Here's another problem: you finally get them to bed and they keep coming out of their room. By the time they finally go to sleep you're exhausted and ready for bed now yourself. If this sounds too familiar, try these ideas:

First of all, if you don't have a kiddie bedtime routine, you should begin one. Ideally you should start it when your child is a baby, but it's not too late to start now. A routine establishes bedtime habits that follow the same pattern and order every night. As your child becomes accustomed to the nighttime ritual, he knows what to expect and what is expected of him.

Your routine should start with letting your child know it's almost bedtime. Show her the clock and explain that when the big hand is straight up, it's time for bed. Or you can set a timer to go off when it's time. This makes the clock the bad guy, not you. If your child still dawdles, escort her to the bathroom to start her bedtime routine. Don't agree to 10 more minutes or you've just negated the whole timer thing.

Make sure your child isn't doing something stimulating right before bed, such as wrestling or horsing around with Dad. Also, get rid of distractions; turn the TV off and perhaps send older brother to read in his own room.

Your bedtime routine should work for you, but this is usually the time for a warm bath, teeth brushing, and then tucking in with a favorite book. If you know your child will want something to eat, build that into the front end of the routine. Ditto going to the bathroom again and getting a drink of water for the second time. Start the whole process with enough time so that you aren't rushing through.

Another part of the ritual may be listening to soothing classical music or singing a comforting lullaby. Special good nights are in order too. "Good night, sleep tight, I love you no matter what, you're snug as a bug in a rug!"

In the beginning your child may still get up, but if he doesn't get any satisfaction from it he'll tire of that ploy. Remember, you are in charge. Put them firmly back to bed with little interaction.

Bedtime is an opportunity to spend quality quiet time bonding with your child, and a routine can give you this pleasant time as long as you stick to it and ride out any rough beginnings.

There are valid reasons why older siblings might not want to be nice to the new baby you've brought home. The older sibling is no longer the star attraction at the theatre of the home where he's always had top billing. The older child now has to do things like...wait. Wait for mom to take care of the baby and wait for the baby's nap to be over so they can go to the park.

Sometimes the older child will take out their anger or frustration in little ways. One older sibling I knew started to pinch the new baby's cheeks rather hard while cooing to her. It was not a matter of the older child getting carried away and not knowing how hard she was pinching. She was showing a little bit of what she was feeling inside.

The parents realized they needed to give more time to their older child. They hadn't noticed how much they time they were spending with the baby; they were so wrapped up in the infant's needs. They found ways to reassure her that she was still very much a part of the family. They did things with their firstborn that they baby was too young to do. They also did things as a family to create a strong family bond and made sure that everyone in the family felt included.

As far as the pinching went - a family friend explained to the oldest child in hushed whispers that instead of pinches, the baby needed very special fairy kisses that only she could give. The friend explained just how a special fairy kiss was to be delivered and had her practice it. No one else was allowed to give the baby these fairy kisses, and when the baby was old enough, the older child was to teach the baby how to do fairy kisses so the baby could give them back to her. This helped create a special bond between the two.

There is always an adjustment period for everyone when a new child enters the family. Help your older child by being sensitive to his or her needs. Create family bonds, strengthen the bonds between parents and oldest child, and find creative ways to solve problems that arise. Sometimes it takes an outsider, such as a wise family friend, to give you helpful solutions.