Am I a Grumpy Old Woman? Well, I have to confess to being a woman - that's a given fact. Old - not in my mind - in fact my daughter keeps telling me it's time I grew up, trouble is she is nearly as old as I feel inside my head. Grumpy - I didn't used to think so but I may have to change my mind.

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the 'Grumpy Old Men' and 'Grumpy Old Women' TV and Stage show that are around at the moment. My bosom buddies and I were fortunate enough to go and see the GOW a short while ago and, whilst I have never laughed so much, I reluctantly came to the conclusion that I am an official, card carrying Gumpy Old Woman...it's not that I have an issue with the 'Youth of Today', most of the things I am grumpy about have nothing whatsoever to do with them. I just find myself become irrationally enraged about things which are often irrelevant but sometimes.........so I thought I would share some of them with you, just to see how large a minority I belong to.

BTW, this ever growing Hub is fairly 'stream of consciousness' as I add more things that make me grumpy or irrationally enraged so do forgive the occasional grammatical lapse! And that brings me to the first thing...

It is a known fact in the Universe of flaminglacer that you don't speak to me unless I've had at least three cups of tea. It is the equivalent of standing in front of a murdering maniac with a loaded shotgun in his/her hands and saying "Please Shoot Me". Your life is at risk - don't do it!

My dearly beloved learned this very early on in our marriage and purchased a Teasmade so that the first sound I hear each morning is the gentle hissing of the kettle and and thus can be assured that the Tea Meter (a critical factor in the wellbeing of the Universe) will soon be rising.

To ask me to make a rational judgement on anything before the Tea Meter registers three is foolhardy and, in the view of friends and family, to ask me anything before that point is evidence of a total lack of care and concern for one's own wellbeing. Needless to say the Tea Meter level has a dramatic effect on the the level of Grumpiness - perhaps I should accompany each comment with the Tea Meter level.....

There is also a chocolate meter but we'll talk about that one later!

How do you feel about 'new speak'? I don't have a problem with the evolution of language, in fact it's a good thing. Communication is critical to the survival of the human species but some of the words and phrases that people come up with are going just a tad too far. Whilst sitting in bed drinking tea (don't do a visualisation here - it's not a pretty sight) yesterday morning watching Breakfast News there was prime example.

It was a business item - something about improving the role/perception of women in the workplace so they could be something other than Carers and Cleaners - their implication, not mine. The Interviewee, the female CEO of a Football Club, had the solution. Wonderful, thought I, and waited with baited breath for the golden words of wisdom about to drop from her lips. "We need to up-skill women to give them confidence"

Train - I understand, Empower - I understand, Value - I understand, but UP-SKILL! I won't even go into the perception of women as only being capable of caring or cleaning - that's for a later date. Up-skill is nearly as bad as one I heard the other day - 'Solutionising'. Now what on earth was that supposed to mean. Solve, dissolve - words with completely opposite meanings but both would fit and suited the context, maybe it was 'answer' - that would have fitted too. The only trouble there is that the incorrect interpretation would have lead to a major crisis.

There are examples too numerous to mention so I may well revisit this topic, but in the meantime please can we say what we mean - and here's a novel idea - mean what we say!

Tea Meter = 2 (Mildly irascible!)

(7/27/07)