When people mix culture and religion into a love affair, there are going to be obstacles to overcome. Add age, defiance, and a strong sense of self-well, you are headed for a wild ride to say the least. Imagine if you will, a young American woman, and a much older Middle-Eastern man falling in love. That is the scenario for many ups and downs.

With the American divorce rate climbing, maybe it's time for people to start putting more thought into the marriage. The idea of a contract needs to be well thought out. Although, many weddings start out with the idea of..."love, then marriage, than the baby carriage..." Most marriages start with a certain expected failure rate, more so do those of combined cultures and ages. There is always the contradiction, and those lucky few that survive do so on much more than love, lust, or money. Conviction and perseverance are the true characteristics behind a successful relationship, no matter what culture.

Enter the Middle-Eastern image of man as supreme, and women servants (A popular fallacy). I can tell you firsthand that is not the case. There are many separations of men and women within the Arab culture, however mostly out of respect, not power. For religious purposes, men and women are separate during prayer so that there is no distraction. It is definitely not to give more importance to a mans right to prayer. In home life, women run the household with an extreme pride. Both pride for their husbands as for themselves. A woman chooses to raise her family over her bank account most often. The men, well they seem to be the flashy ones, after all Mercedes Benz and B.M.W. are staples to many Arab men. Vanity vs. vulnerability? I wonder.

Within the American culture, money and status seem to be among the first questions when we search for a prospective mate, although both show nothing of the true person. Drug dealers and thieves make lots of money, but not many people would proclaim their love for such a known person. However, the first thing that is often asked of a prospective mate-what does he drive, what does he do, does he have money?Of women, well, much of the same. Vanity seems to rule the American dream of family life. Mothers work too, buy their own cars, set their own rules. Independent women and codependent men? I wonder.

In the end, why do most intercultural marriages fail? Mainly the same reason most same culture marriages do-it's too easy to get out of it. There are too many other choices out there.