My AdSense earnings had accrued to one million, two dollars, and twenty-two cents. I didn’t believe of course, so I decided to e-mail AdSense support. I wanted them to answer my question: I made a million, is that a mistake and what should I do?

“Thank you for contacting AdSense support. Congratulations on your first million. There’s no mistake.”

Still in doubt, I selected the payment method—a check—and waited patiently until today. The check was real, and the dough. Of course, because of the check, my mentality changed. I’m now a leading authority on several HOT subjects, INLUDING BUT NOT LIMMITED TO:

• Making Money Online

• Making Money with Hubpages and Affiliate Programs

• Making Money with AdSense

• Making Money Writing on Hubpages

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Now I’ll make myself a nice looking website—the one sprinkled with green bucks and short messages in red, yellow, pink, and all the other beautiful colors. Near the end of the page, you’ll be able to purchase my books with titles I already mentioned. From now on, call me Cash.

Grammar

First, learn English grammar—everyone can, it’s a piece of cake. Read a grammar book, an English one preferably, and you’re done. You don’t have to practice to be a writer—just type whatever comes to mind. Start sentences with a capital letter and end with a period, or semicolon if you like. Arrange your sentences in paragraphs—long, short, doesn’t matter. And after you put together several paragraphs, your money making hub is ready: you got yourself a cash register.

Forget Reading—Get Busy Typing

Please don’t waste your time reading good English prose or even worse-- fiction. This fancy stuff is for bookworms and other crazy people who know nothing about cash making online. Shakespeare, this talentless ham, is not an authority on making money online. You’re here to make money, so listen to the insiders like me.

Affiliate Programs

Now open an AdSense account—one, two, three. Next day the cash starts pouring like rain. If you ask me how I accrued a million, I’ll say one cent at a time—click, click, click—can you hear it already?

I heard it’s the same with Amazon and e-Bay, click, click, click. You can register for them in your hubpages affiliate settings, after you open your hubpages account.

What to Write

Whatever you want and however you want. Everything’s good, as long as you keep yourself busy typing long and rich articles. I met a fellow new hubber who is highly regarded because of his typing speed and wits. Though it’s hard to understand his masterpieces, he’s gaining popularity faster than me. Soon he might be the first billionaire on hubpages, who knows.

Words and Expressions

Use words like explode, boost, cash, and use expressions like:

How to Make Money WRITING Online ,

How to Make Money with Google AdSense,

How to Make Money Using the Amazon Affiliates Program,

How To Make Money From Hubpages

Fingers Not Brains

Your most important tools when making money online with hubpages, AdSense, Amazon or e-Bay are your fingers. Not your brains. So, take care of your fingers and nails—always crack your knuckles before typing.

Pictures (Photos)

This is very important. Maybe I should have put this at the top of the tips. Your topic is money, dinero, argent, Geld, denaro. And money should be all over your pages—a hand holding cash, preferably. When people see the green buck—that’s it, the spider caught a fly in the web. Other good suggestions is money flying out of a laptop screen—adding your fast fingers to the photo will be even better.

Feature Articles

Write long feature articles—2000 words at least. Hubpages likes them because they make money for them too. Help them: hubpages are part of your cash register.

Include videos showing online spreadsheets with large amounts of money next to some text with names of affiliates of some sort. Talk, explain the relationship between the numbers and names—how you made the dough, who are the affiliates. Drizzle some pictures and other visuals to make the feature rich. The gaudier, the more traffic you’ll GENERATE, and the happier the Internet and Hubpages communities will be.

I’m out—have to start spending the dough.