USE YOUR TOOL

Nearly every school or university offers students a website where classmates can contact one another or alumni, sometimes even obtain lessons or speak with professors or TAs. These sites can be a goldmine of information on jobs, events, more informal school-oriented gatherings. Such sites can help you find a classmate or his or her email, network with one another, or find information that can help you locate their sites or information in other internet locations.

Online social networking sites offer the chance to look over attributes of a person without any awkward face to face moments. You can also find interesting/interested people any time of day or night and so you aren't constrained by the normal schedule of most of society should you be a night owl or just up late with nothing better to do.

Think creatively while you're looking. Don't spend all your time on Facebook pages when women, yes real women, can be found as close as your favorite online gaming site. We too enjoy a WoW raid, mining the wilds of Entropia, and shooting our best friends in the face from high cover every so often when they get too high on themselves. The best way to meet someone is to be a decent and considerate player. Or not. Steal her loot and you may find yourself in a protracted argument that could eventually lead to a real conversation. You never know. That's why it's best to always be yourself and have fun and let things happen, see where they go.

Chatrooms are still around and not everyone in them is a pervert or a cop, still it can take time, just as in a "real" situation, to find a group (let alone one person) to whom you will enjoy spending hours listening.

PLACES WHERE PEOPLE ABOUND AND HOW TO USE THEM TO GET AROUND

Common Interests are are an excellent icebreaker as you have at least one subject of conversation and reason to gather which should have automatic credibility. I would advise you to not join just to meet women, but stranger things have had success. Women who have been burned in the past or who are on the alert for fake men may sense your lack of involvement if you lack involvement. If you agree with the cause or truly enjoy the activity, have at it.

There are hundreds of clubs offered at universities and in the greater communities which contain them. Nearly any one you choose will have at least one woman. While you could do as many juvenile television shows and movies suggest and aim for entry into the one with the most stereotypical females in greatest number, allow me to suggest that you broaden your horizons. Choose something that piques your curiosity. If your interest isn't sustained, if you aren't meeting people, you can always change to a new club later.

Organizations work the same way, as would volunteering, with the added bonus that you are giving back to your community or university with your service. These may be slightly more difficult to join at-will, but if you begin by offering only a small amount of your time or by auditing the organization, sitting in on a few meetings or helping with one event, you leave yourself a respectful way to back out should your needs not be met.

Looking within your religion or finding people who have a shared belief system is another good way to find like-minded people who may be attracted to you. Again you have the benefit of at least one important similar facet of your lives. Great material for deep and meaningful conversations exist as you discuss or debate the particular aspects of your faith. Often churches and religious groups will have their own organized gatherings and meetings which could offer you much greater exposure to their populations and the chance of discovering the person you hope to meet.

Common Locations are fantastic for crossing paths with someone you might never meet otherwise. Think beyond the bars or clubs that represent the least possible creative option. Look around you as your day passes. The grocery store, the book store. Maybe it seems silly, but there are loads of creative ways to strike up a conversation. Ask for help, ask for directions, ask what you can make with that exotic ingredient she just added to her basket...

If your classes don't have a seating chart, mix it up. Maybe your next date is sitting across the room in your morning class. Find a new spot each class. IF you see someone of interest, ask a question about the material or express your chagrin about the last quiz. If that goes well, you could offer or ask to share notes, bring coffee, gather for an informal study session.

Meetings are occasionally required on campus- new dorm, financial aid, and you may be thinking about skipping them, but you might be missing the chance to meet someone you might otherwise miss. These gatherings will pull people from a variety of areas and backgrounds and they probably aren't any more thrilled to be there than you are. You could both get through with information and with a new friend. Bond over the mundane or over the silly, dry manner in which such information is usually offered. Is your presenter a bit too into the details? Crack a joke and get her laughing.

School common areas have those who sit and wait as well as those who pass by, transitory chances for encounters. The corner where you pass that half hour between lunch and your next class. The library table you claim one afternoon a week.

There are times you may not want to mix work life with your social life, but if your employer doesn't hassle you, if this job isn't where you intend to spend the bulk of your career, add coworkers to your list of possibilities. Be careful that you don't violate the very strict rules for harassment in the workplace- don't stalk her, don't ask her repeatedly if she turns you down. You should also be cognizant that this may not be your choice of situations in the long term but her life may be following an alternate path. She may need to be more circumspect about dating at work. Whether it works out or not, you need only remember to be professional on the job. Leave the sweet talk for before or after hours.

DAILY GRIND OR WASTED OPPORTUNITY ?

Chance meetings are a wonderful way for you to stand out in the mind of the person you'd like to attract. Sharing is a nice way to get started. Share your umbrella on a rainy day, your textbook or pen with someone who forgot their materials for class.

Waiting in line is another boring but unavoidable part of daily life. See each moment as an opportunity. Line culture offers you an immediate "in" with your line neighbors. You can be chivalrous and offer your place in line or to help with a heavy bag, you can empathize over a slow-moving checkout, you can laugh over a disturbing magazine cover. Poke fun at each other's grocery choices (or those of another shopper). The idea is to be memorable, to offer a small bright point in not only your day but the day of another person, one who expected this to be just another boring wait in line. Instead she met this fun person...

Transportation is a vital part of anyone's day. Share a seat with a likely stranger on the campus bus. If you have a car, put your info up on a ride share board. Even if you get a response from the wrong sex for you, that person undoubtedly knows other women, has a sister or a cousin or is best friends with one of your fellow students. This goes for any other social situation as well. You never know where the person you meet may lead you. Try not to burn bridges, even if an actual date or relationship doesn't work out in the end. You don't need your ex spreading your private information around in a negative light, but even better, she could end up being one of your greatest allies. She could be passing along to others that while she wasn't the one for you, you are definitely someone worth getting to know. Let your good manners be your ambassador in that way.

BE OUT THERE

Be Interesting. Come to class with something unusual. Maybe you're really into scarves. Wear a gaudy one that helps you stand out from the herd. Carry a foreign newspaper. Not ostensibly! You should have some reason for carrying it- maybe you speak a second language or maybe you just liked the font. You could choose to do so on a daily basis or intermittently. Get her curiosity aroused and maybe she'll approach you.

Be Armed with some creative activities. You're both students? Strapped for cash and time? Why not a laundry date? Meet at the coin operated or down in the dorm basement. Offer to bring snacks or share dryer sheets. The chore will help cut down on awkward silences and may lead to some mildly embarrassing/hilarious memories. You can sit and chat between loads or explore the maintenance tunnels. You'll also get to see a different, less formal side of her in the process.

Be Approachable. If you are always silent and sullen in the back of the room, would you want to approach you and strike up a conversation? You needn't be the life of the party, just allow her a little welcome into your personal space. A word of hello, proffer a chair, slightly more open body language. If you tend to run with a pack of fellas, be aware of how intimidating all of you vs one of her may be. And if you're the type who has limitless female company, all of the friend variety, know that she may think you're taken already unless you make an effort to let her know you're free.

Be Brave. Step up where others may not. Give to the homeless man, stop and listen for a few moments to the crazy guy preaching in the center of the quad, ask the tough question in class. Be the guy who, when her pen goes flying down all five tiers of the lecture hall, stands and faces the entire class's attention in order to retrieve it.

Be Into New Things. Learning can be fun and teach us as much about ourselves as the subject at hand. Show you're open or learn to be. You'll live a happier life if you learn to take a chance, be willing to laugh at yourself, forgive your mistakes and most of everyone else's. After all, each new person you meet will take a bit learning, your patience, acceptance, and you get out of your time what you're willing to put in.

Good luck!