Anger is an intense feeling that can become extremely overwhelming if you do not learn or know how to control it. Worse yet, anger can consume your life, eat away at you, and cause you to lose out on a lot of joyful moments in life.

Those who have an anger management problem often try to hide or disguise it. They rarely ask for help because they don’t want to be seen as someone who is weak. Stuffing anger down will only make it worse, though. Eventually the anger builds and builds until you explode, hurting those you love the most.

If you have found yourself feeling anger but are afraid to reach out for help, perhaps some of these ideas will help you learn how to deal with your anger:

1. Take a step back when you feel anger mounting. One of the worse things to do is stay in the middle of the situation causing you to feel angry. By doing so you will only be feeding your anger, like adding fuel to the fire. Step away. Excuse yourself. Leave. Do whatever you need to do to remove yourself from that situation immediately.

2. Determine the underlying cause of your anger. One reason why so many people continue to feel angry is because they never address the issue that is at the root of their anger. Trying to hide from your true feelings will only increase your anger. Think of it like housing a monster (anger) deep within your soul. Every time you try to hide or cover up your feelings, you throw food down into the pit and feed the monster. The more you feed it, the bigger it grows, until it is all-consuming and you can’t control it anymore—it controls you. Get to the root of your anger and acknowledge it.

3. Acknowledge your anger. Don’t try to cover up your anger. The truth is, you’ll never be able to cover it up. As well as you think you are hiding it, everyone else around you knows it is there. The only person you are fooling is yourself. Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step you can take towards fixing that problem.

4. Seek professional help when you need it. Again, most people with anger issues do not reach out for help because they don’t want to be seen as being weak. Others never reach out for help because they don’t want anyone else to know they are filled with anger. Shame drives them to continue hiding their problem. Know that you are not alone. There are many angry people in this world. But if you seek and get help for yourself, then maybe you can be an inspiration and help others.