Losing a loved one is never easy. I can still remember when my dad died. Since he had a fatal heart attack, it came as a shock to all of us. Consequently, I never even had a chance to say goodbye to him.

Since I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad, I thought the best way I could give him one final gift of love was to honor his life by writing his eulogy. I didn't want a minister who barely knew him to give the eulogy. I wanted his eulogy to be a testament to the great person he was and how much I loved him. I wanted it to be perfect. However, no matter how much I struggled with the words, in my eyes, it was never good enough. Therefore, rather than write a loved one's eulogy in the midst of grief, I think it is better to contemplate how to write an eulogy when you're not grieving.

The purpose of a eulogy is to commemorate a person's life. A eulogy may contain:

• A condensation of the deceased life's history. It easier to follow a chronological order.
• Details about special accomplishments, rewards, etc.
• Favorite memories - In addition to your own memories, you can include other people's favorite memories. Question family and friends of the deceased to discover their memories.
• Qualities that made the deceased unique and special
• You might search for an overall theme.
• Favorite poems, quotes, and scriptures
• Make an outline and type the eulogy in large print. Don't try to give an impromptu eulogy since it is an emotional time.

My dad's eulogy was not perfect by any means, it was too long. The average eulogy is three to five minutes long. However, it will give you an example of what you might want to consider including.

What do you say when you have lost one of the most influential and loved people in your life? I'd like to write a great tribute for my Dad, but as I sit here, I struggle to find the words to capture his essence or describe a lifetime of memories and love. Therefore, these words only offer a glimpse of how great and special he was to all who loved him.

Kenneth Verdon Jacobsen was born December 25, 1930 to Irwin and Margaret Jacobsen in Omaha, Nebraska. A middle child, he had an older brother, Jerry, and a youger sister, Moreen. He graduated from Benson High School and later attended the University of Nebraska at Omaha. He served in the Navy during the Korean War, and later married Joyce Hanson on July 12, 1957. They had three children together: Jennifer, John, and Neal.

Recently, he and Joyce celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary. Ken was a devoted family man. He loved quietly but deeply. As a provider, he was stable and took the responsibliity seriously. He worked long hours, and no one ever lacked for anything. As a husband, he was caring and considerate. When his wife's father's health was failing, he took him into their home and helped make his life easier. As a father, he realized the importance of spending time with his children and made every effort to include them in his life. I can remember accompanying him to the job site, to visit his friends, to run errands, and on fishing and hunting trips. I am sure many times it would have been easier or more enjoyable to go without the hassles of a child tagging along.

He was firm but fair. He would offer advice and provide us with opportunites to learn responsibility, but he also allowed us to learn from our own mistakes. More importantly, he taught us by the examples he set in his own life.

A carpenter by trade, Ken loved working with his hands. He was talented and enjoyed creating things of beauty. He was a hard worker and pursued his work with passion, pride, and determination. An intelligent, independent, and strong-willed man, he ran his own business successfully for many years.

During his lifetime, he built three homes, did extensive remodeling on an older farm house. and made many improvements on his cabin on Sand Lake. He took pride in where he lived, and until his health started deteriorating, he was always working on some project around the house. Besides carpentry, he also enjoyed working on antique cars. A perfectionist, he painstakingly worked on the smallest details and always completed his projects.

Ken had a deep love for nature. As a younger man, he liked to fish and hunt. As an older man, he enjoyed the simpler things in life. Some of the things he enjoyed were: feeding the birds, watching the antics of local blue heron, watching the ducks and loons swim in the lake, listening to the calls of the loons, watching the deer walk through his yard, and watching his field of daisies sway in the breeze. He would also feed the squirrels and chipmunks, patiently encouraging them to eat from is hands. These things and more are what he loved about Minnesota.

Ken enjoyed socializing with people, camping when he was younger, travelling, antique furniture, country-western music, and watching NASCAR, the Discovery Channel, and the History Channel. He was also a Master Mason and lifetime member of the Covert Lodge.

In 1988, Ken herniated a disc in his neck followed by an unsuccessful surgery four years later. He spent many years in chronic pain. Furthermore, the pain increased after his stroke in 2001, and he lost the use of his right hand. Until one has lived with chronic pain, it is incomprehensible what it is like to suffer with pain and lose the ability to do things that you once loved and made you feel vital. Yet, throughout the years, he rarely complained or took it out the way he was feeling on others. He did his best to lead a normal life and maintain his independence. He was one of the bravest and most perserverant men I know.

On July 25, 2003, Ken passed away. No words can describe the deep loss we feel, but his memory and love will live in our hearts forever. He is survived by his wife, children, and sister.

In closing, I love my father very deeply, and I will sorely miss him for the rest of my days. He was a gift from God, and I was proud to call him my father. He will always be one of the most infuential men in my life. And Dad, if you can he me now, I love you.

No matter how much we may dread the death of our loved ones, death is a part of life. A eulogy is a labor of love and a great honor. . In Greek, eulogy means blessing or praise. Through your eyes and words, you have an opportunity to share the uniqueness and specialness of the deceased person's life and essence. Although public speeches, especially eulogies, can cause great anxiety, try to relax. The people in attendance are there to support you, not judge you. With certainty, if you loved the deceased person, you will probably start crying. If you're having difficulty, it's okay to stop until you regain your composure. Take a deep breath, and go on when you're ready.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving