When learning how to write a movie; ask yourself:

What drives you? What excites you? What inspires you? What makes you laugh? What makes you cry? What are you passionate about?

For me it’s the heartfelt AND crazy characters in our lives running a muck; those insane humanoids that fill the rich canvas of our everyday life; they’re everywhere, and that's a good thing, especially if you're a writer.

You love 'em, you can't live with 'em, and you definitely can't shoot 'em. The good news is that even if they annoy you; they’re great material for your movie, so write it down.

There are all kinds of characters out there. Perhaps there's your Uncle Bob, who thinks he is a little too cool with his hair slicked back oozing with an unidentified green liquid gel, equipped with tight guess jeans 3 inches too short, a powder blue member’s only jacket from 1978 picked up on sale at Target( that’s French for Tarjet) , and a matching fanny pack stuffed with a CD player playing the theme song from Welcome Back Kotter on it.

For me, between my family, estranged relatives, friends, apartment dwellers, and living in the land of fruits and nuts, AKA Los Angeles, the characters, stories, and dialogue for material never runs out.There are characters everywhere; it seems that my pen never stops writing across the page. Thank God for people, or there would be nothing to write about, get inspired from, or make fun of.

Case in point: I present to you…

The 3 second Salsa Dancing, Celebrity impersonating, 10 Second Dumping, whacky friend

Quirky trait #1

I have a good friend who lives in Chicago by the name of Tom. He’s a really great guy. A bit on the pasty side, but still quite nice. Tom is a really great salsa dancer; I mean this guy can really busts the dance floor up.

The weird thing is he’ll break into a spontaneous, latin groove out of nowhere, when he's not anywhere near a salsa club...and the only music to be heard is coming from his lips.

When he is talking to you about something that gets him interested, or excited (about the topic, come on people), he will make a statement that he feels proud of; then he breaks into a 3 second, salsa dance in place; then stops on a dime, and is right back into the conversation, arms crossed, ears open, relaxed like nothing happened at all. It's almost like he goes unsconsious.

I stare amazed at his obvious call for help, but since I am a writer who loves characters and especially comedy, the call for therapy will have to wait, instead, I excuse myself to write it down.

Quirky trait #2

I come back into the room, we start talking again, this time about Politics, Bush, global warming, the usual, he stops cold in the middle of our conversation again and looks at me as if he is in pain, me being the compassionate guy that I am, asked what’s wrong… he is silent...the next thing I know is he is attempting to be, (and I use the word "attempting" loosely), Clint Eastwood. He goes into a story about his fictitious magnum handgun, and suggests that I “go ahead and make his day.”

Again, an obvious call for help. By this time I think I definitely have a deeper understanding about why he is divorced.

Quirky trait #3

He is nicknamed “the 10 second dumper.”

I know it sounds like a bad informercial, but bear with me.

I coined this phrase when I was staying with him at his house for an extended visit. When you live with someone, you learn things about them that you don’t necessarily want to know about, but guess what? You learn it anyway.

One day, he announced proudly, as all men do, that he had to “do his business,”, and yes, he broke into a salsa dance, attempted to impersonate Jay Leno, and he disappeared into the throne, door closed, all is well.

Much to my chagrin, literally 10 seconds later; he reappears.

Me: “What’s up, I thought you were “doing your business” Not that I want to know.

Him: “It’s all done brother.”

Me: “Done, how could you be done, you were gone for 10 seconds?”

Him: “I’ve got great plumbing, what can I say.”

Me: “That is literally impossible! No one can walk into that room, drop trow, do their business, and (all the other stuff that won’t be mentioned here because this is a PG crowd,) and wash your hands, you did wash your hands didn't you??? and be back out here salsa dancing like everything is cool 10 seconds later…No way.”

Him: “Just a healthy guy brother....Just a healthy guy”

Me: “Even if this was theoretically possible mind you, and I’m not saying that it is, it’s not right. It’s against the sacred bylaws of men everywhere. What about a man’s right to stay...reflect, contemplate life, read a good book, ponder your life purpose…It’s just wrong to use the bathroom for any quick be on your way kind of business. It’s known as the men’s kingdom across all of the land for a reason...

Me Cont: ...For generations it's been a time for a man to get away from it all. To take time out of his busy day, and take a close look at life, with no outside distractions. Just you, on your throne, and pure silence...some of the best businesses were built from a trip to the bathroom...don't ruin it for everybody...

Thomas looked at me confused like I was speaking with a forked tongue, and salsa danced his little, hopefully clean butt into the living room. All I could hear was a bad Arnold imitation from the Terminator..."Ill be back"

Well is it true? He claims it is, and even to this day, when we speak on the phone, he’ll say hold on. He puts the phone down, I can hear him salsa dance across the floor, blurting out some incomprehensive salsa tune, and within, yup, you guessed it, 10 seconds he was back on the phone.

Me: Where did you go?

Him: “To do my business”

Me: “Oh…”

The Moral is, it may or not be true, but this is one guy who will not be checking it out closely anytime soon. Perhaps I will leave it up to the lucky people at the Guiness book of World Records.

Characters, they’re everywhere…take a good look around, and don’t forget to take notes.

To learn a lot more about movies: e.g. characters, dialogue, storytelling, premise, description, etc...and how to write a movie, visit here, you’ll be happy you did, and great writing to you.