I am now a firm believer in notion that every-one's destiny must be predetermined by some higher and mystical force in the universe beyond the influences of mankind. In my past the explanation of everything that happened seemed to have been determine through a number of random and seemingly inconsequential events. Over time, however, everything has changed. Why "all of a sudden" has my life become so predictable as though there is a script to be followed? Am I just a raving lunatic - crazed by the confines of my own mind or just a spindle in the wheel of life? No doubt that these are just a few points to ponder.

Although I have always realized that there are consequences for all of the things I do in life, I never thought that the outcomes could be so predictable. I am not describing the simple cause and effect outcomes which most of the people in a society learn such as robbing a bank, getting caught and ultimately going to prison. I am describing outcomes that seem to be determined by a complex number of events which can only lead to one outcome.

At this point in my life I am consumed by the fact that I have not accomplished as much as I should have according to the standards of society. I am a 47 year old male who cannot get ahead financially and am on the brink of a mental breakdown because of the frustration of being what I call "insignificant". It would not matter tomorrow to the general population if I were to live or to die,unless death occurs by the current disease in vogue such as the swine flu. The thought of being of such little significance to the world just "blows" my mind. Don't misunderstand these thoughts as self pity or anything else other than a fact. I apologize for the rambling,however, I just thought of getting a few things out in the open.I do have a point of view to express.

At 47 I have come to the realization the my life is ordinary. I do the same thing day in and day out like so many other people in the world. I get up, get dressed,kick the dogs outside,pat the kids on the head and go off to work. At the end of the work day I fight the traffic back home,eat dinner,watch t.v. and go to bed. The next day I start all over again. How redundant! Does this sound like your day? The point is that for me to change there must be a change in society. Let's band together and try something different and teach our kids that sometimes it would be good to be spontaneous and attempt new things. Random actions and events should be the norm and not the exception in order for us to not be "insignificant". Thank you all for the read.