This hub about the world's greatest living dog contains 921 words.

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Hi! My name is Inka. I'm a full-blooded American Pit Bull Terrier. We are called killers.

My daddy says, "Hogwash."

My daddy says I'm the sweetest living dog in this whole great big wonderful world. I believe him too. My daddy calls me Inki Binki.

I know there are whiners among us who say pit bulls are mean and should be put down. They are wrong.

I once had a photo to show my attitude toward those unpolished people. But, my daddy said it was too gross to show to people and he took it away.

Oh yeah, a man once came to "take care" of me because I'm a pit bull. I don't know what he meant but my daddy knows. My daddy buried him right under where I squat in the photo.

My daddy designated that spot the Official Inki Binki Bathroom.

My daddy loves me. I love my daddy too.

I will never hurt my daddy. I do everything I can to make his life on Earth a paradise.

I have three sisters. They aren’t sophisticated like me. They’re just mutts.

One is a pit bull mix so she isn’t all bad. Her name is Valentine because she came on Valentines day. Big Deal!

Ruby is a hound but she thinks she is hot stuff because she has Rottweiler markings. I just let her believe what she wants because I know the importance of self-esteem.

I can’t figure Betty out. I don’t know what kind of a dog she is but I know I don’t like her. She spends too much time with my daddy. Dang her hide, anyway.

Once when daddy thought all my sisters were outside, he slipped a bite of food to me at his side at the dining room table. He likes to give me a special treat. After looking all around to see if we were alone, he said, “Here, take it and go while they aren’t looking.“ Well, guess what. Betty came out from under the table for her share. That sneaky mutt.

My daddy sure does like me. Like when he and mommy came home to find the fabric off of a couch arm. Want to know what he did? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. While mommy put a cover on the arm, daddy looked at me and said, “Don’t sweat it, Inki Binki, it was an accident wasn’t it?

I told him, “No, daddy. It wasn’t an accident. I cannot tell a lie. I did it because I wanted to be nasty just like my sisters.”

Daddy didn’t like hearing that. He spanked each of my sisters. Then, daddy cried with me, and told me I’m honorable just like some kid named George Washington. He promised he would be a better daddy. Now, that’s love.

What I like best about my life is tormenting my sisters. I especially like to stretch out on my tummy in front of our doggie door and make it difficult for each of them to go through the door. They usually just stay inside and wait for me to get up.

I have stubbornly parked my carcass at the doggie door for two hours at a time just to annoy them, especially Betty. I think they all are afraid of me because they never make me get up. I don’t know why they are afraid of little me because my daddy says I’m the sweetest living dog in this whole great big wonderful world. It’s probably because they are just mutts.

Then, I also like feeding time. I eat a little and then get down next to my doggie bowl on my tummy just like at the doggie door, I pretend like I’m asleep. Then when Betty tries to sneak a bite of my dinner, I growl. She runs. I love it.

I would be nicer to Betty if she would leave my daddy alone but nooooo she won’t have it. The mutt.

You know what I like best about my daddy? I like licking his feet when he puts his socks on his feeties. I know he likes it too because he flips my ear with his fingers and says something about getting out.

Too, it is always fun when mommy thinks my daddy is sleeping too late in the morning when she has work for him to do. She opens the bedroom door and I race in, leap on the bed and lick his face until he gets up.

He seems to play rough when I lick his feeties and his face. I don’t care though because I love him so much.

Well, nice of you to let me ramble but I want to go outside and play.

Oh, and before I go I gotta tell you something. My daddy always sings a song about me every time he gets in the shower. He wrote this poem and then put it to music:

Inka Binka she’s my doggie
That Inka Binka she never thinka
Inka Binka she’s my doggie
That Inka Binka she always stinka.

I don’t understand all the words but that’s fine. I know they are good because my daddy always laughs to the top of his lungs when he finishes. I can’t wait until his next shower because I just love that singing and I like him happy. It won’t be soon though because my daddy says a shower every two weeks is enough.

Well, write soon.

Any friend of my daddy is a friend of mine.

Sincerely,

Inka XOXOXO
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