living with trichotillomania
73What is TTM?
Good question.
No one seems to know what TTM is because. Not many report having it. The mental heath person I saw when it all started described it as simply pulling my hair. It's not the same with every one.. the mild cases you'll see many times a day with out thinking any thing of it.. people subconsciously play with their hair and tug at it a bit or wrap it around their finger.
The bad cases like mine are where you actually pull your hair out. Some times even when you know your doing it you cant seem to stop your self.
It's very frustrating and I have tried many ways to stop my self, from wearing hats to wearing really thick gloves that hindered my daily tasks. I tried keeping my hands busy as a result I'm rather gifted in many things involving hobbies and crafts. It works for a while.. my personal best was 3 years. Every time I think I have it kicked I find my self wondering how it keeps getting to me again.
I tried handcuffing my self one time.. no luck there some how I always found a pile of hair beside me when I looked.
I have other issues with my hands not doing as I wish.. there are times I wonder if life would be better if I cut my hands off.
things people ask.
“If cutting your hair would get you a job would you do it.”
The answer is NO. if you are living with trichotillomania (TTM), you might understand my reasons. I hate hats and I hate having short hair. And I KNOW I will not get hired any where in the public eye if I DO cut my hair.
I have two options.: Shave my head, and Grow my hair long.
In short cutting my hair wouldnt help.
"Why not just ware a wig?"
Tried it. Hated it. It was almost the same as waring a hat and beside my roots were so fragile that the wig pulled out more than I did when I tried to unpin it.
"Have you tried sitting on your hands?"
Not very practical when you need them to do things. But yes I have tried tyeing my hands to my belt loops to limit my reach. And yes apparently I'm very flexible. I'd drift off into a daydream and come awake to yet another pile of hair and my head hurting.
Can it be treated?
Yes. As to the effectiveness of the treatments. It varies in some cases treatment can make it worse. Some people who have TTM from stress get worse due to the fact they they NEED treatment. Being jobless for so long has gotten me very worried. And pulling my hair out isn't going to help me get a job. But I don't want, nor do I think I can apply for, government aid.
part 2
- Living with Trichotillomania (part 2)
I posted Part 2 in a different section because I think people need to know how those with TTM feel given various interactions. And how to handle meeting those with disabilities. I personally prefer that...
Things people have suggested
Most of these were suggested by people who saw it as a habit or just a stress issue.
- S1. You should redirect it. Try slapping your hands or pounding your fist when you pull your hair.
- A1. Doesn't work I'm not always aware I'm doing it. I do this when i am aware.
- S2. You should relax and forget about your problems more often.
- A2. That is a stupid idea. Problems only get worse if you don't fix them they never go away on their own.
- S3. Have sex dude it'll loosen you up.
- A3. Oh right it's cause I'm a virgin.. No I chose to be a virgin. I don't see sex as a building block for a relationship. ( And I love you all the more heather for you're willingness to wait for me.)
- S4. Just shave your head and keep it short.
- A4. Tried that. Still managed to pull out the hair. And shaving my head scared people.
- S5. Ok, I could hit you when you do it that would stop you if nothing else.
- A5. Uh a teacher tried that one he slammed my hand on my desk a few times so I demonstrated my tolerance for pain by slamming my fist into the brick wall beside me. It's easy to make me say ouch but if I don want to feel it I wont. It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind the pain it wont matter. This could also be part of why I don't notice I'm pulling my hair out when I day dream.
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Teresa McGurk says:
7 months ago
Hey HeXis -- thanks for writing this great hub. It is clear, concise, and well stated. When I saw the word trichotillomania I tried to figure it out (d'oh! best I could manage was "fear of Knitting"!). I've seen people twirl their hair, of course, but (like everyone else you meet, I fear) I didn't realize it could go to such an extreme.
I'm so sorry that you have had to endure people's lack of comprehension -- it can be torture when people make their kind suggestions, can't it? By bringing this to our attention, you are helping us understand. And when people understand, then they can REALLY start to show you their compassion and care.
Great hub.