cancer its such a nasty word its like venom yo your lips/ i should know i have said it plenty of times. writing what I’m about to write will bring back painful memories memories I’m not sure i should bring up but i feel that i must. October of 2006 my father was diagnosed with small celled fast paced lung cancer that was in both of his lungs. my father was always on the go and trying to make sure that there was food always on the table for my family he was always the type that if one of us kids was in trouble when he would be there to help us and guide us through it. so when he was diagnosed with cancer you could imagine how it turned my world and my families world up side down. but him he never once broke down he stayed strong through the while thing never once did he break down and give up, he was a fighter when needed. my dad was a well loved man every one he meet he became friends with. that’s what i loved most about him. i remember when dad went to his first round of chemo right when he started losing his hair, we all would make jokes and laugh about it to lighten everything up. he went to 6 months of chemo before finally being told that the cancer had spread to his liver and around his spinal cord, but not once did he give up no he kept fighting, and my family kept praying for a miracle. the doctor upped his dose of chemo to fight off the cancer we hoped it would work, 4 more treatments that’s what the doctor said. ok  only 4 more till your better.  i started working to help bring in money, i was hoping that it would help out my family allot. that’s were i ended up meting my fiancé at dunking donuts. Christmas came and went and we had a new edition in our family my brother and his wife had a baby girl. my dad loved that angel so much. well after all that my dad ended up coming home from chemo with about 5 balloons and he asked us to come out side my brother Travis grabbed his video camera and recorded my dad letting go of the balloons and saying goodbye to cancer. A couple of weeks later we found out the results to my dads cancer, i was at work when i called my dad to see what the doctor said, i couldn’t get in touch with him so i tried every one else. i couldn’t get them either, i knew then something was wrong. so i tried my mom again knowing that she only could ignore my phone calls for so long. i finally got through to her and asked her what the doctor said, she hesitated which gave it away my knees grew weak and i got lightheaded as she told me my father was given a time limit on his life. he had six months left to live. i didn’t know what to say she told me to call him and talk to him, i couldn’t all i wanted to do was run. i set the phone down and headed to the back door of my work not sure were i was going, but i didn’t make it i made it to the sink before my knees gave way, i hit the floor as tears rolled out of my eyes, i screamed at any one who would listen i screamed at the wall, i screamed at God, why my dad what has he done so horrible bad to deserve this fate, why such a kind hearted man to die a painful death, i didn’t know what to do. i couldn’t breath, i hardly remember what my friends said to me, the held me and tried to console me but nothing worked my heart was broken in to. then my dad called once i heard his voice i lost it again saying things like why you why. and to this day i still remember what he told me " baby girl, god is ready for me there’s nothing we can do about it nothing we can say. you know no matter what i love you with all my heart, you are engaged know and have your own life to live don’t cry you’ll make it through it". i remember telling him i couldn’t live without him and how the world would be different with out him. Adam ended up getting off work early to come see me, he held me and told me he would be there no matter what. when i got home that night i tried to stay strong i couldn’t though when i seen my dad all i could think about was how could he be given a time limit on life, that’s so cruel, i even prayed harder than i ever hade in my life for god to heal my dad, i didn’t want to sit back and watch him die i couldn’t i knew it would kill me, i knew it would kill my whole family. a month after that my dad was put back in the hospital, he was in their for a week, while he was in there my brother Travis got in a motorcycle wreck and me and Adam took him to the hospital, we went to see my dad while Travis was being checked out, me my dad and Adam walked out to the balcony and was talking when my dad got sick all over the balcony, all he cared about though was that i not see him puke, i looked at my dad and said i don’t give a damn if you puke or not ill stay by your side no matter what. when we headed back to the room my dad was given some medicine that made him a little loopy, he wanted to go see Travis so that’s were we went, i pushed him in a wheelchair to the emergency room when we got there my dad was so out of it, it killed me to see that i couldn’t handle it, but i sucked it up, i took my dad up to his room got him into bed and kissed him goodbye until next time. 2 weeks after that hospital visit my dads health went down hill, he went to the doctor were they did more tests on him, we ended up finding out that the cancer spread to his bones and his brain that’s why he wasn’t himself any more. (know remember he started with lung cancer then liver cancer now bone and brain cancer, that should tell you how nasty a thing cancer is) they said that he probably didn’t have but a month to live, i found this out right before i went to work, me and my brother Clint cried and talked of all the things we wanted to do with daddy before he died, Clint wanted to take daddy to a panthers game and i wanted daddy to walk me down the isle and dance with me at my wedding. 2 days after finding that out we had to carry my dad to the hospital he was swollen to twice his size and was yellow. the next day Sunday July 1st at 2:50 pm my dad took his last breath. he lived 9 months after he was diagnosed. i really wish that i could have a happy ending to this but its not i blamed God so long for taking away my best friend, but then i stopped blaming god i realized it wasn’t gods fault, my dad was a heavy smoker for 30 years. but there is one thing about this ending that was beautiful, right before my dad died all three of us kids talked to him and the last was mom, she wisped something in hi ear and they had there last kiss goodbye he winked at her and a tear fell as he took his last breath. like my brother Clint said, he was waiting on his last kiss. Its been 7 months since the day my dad died and not a day goes by i don’t think about him, i have grown stronger since then, and i still hurt, i love my dad more than anything and i know ill see him again some day. R.I.P JAMES 'JIMBO'CLIFTON EUDY JR. (Feb. 18 1960-July.1 2007)