The Love Guru:

Just six short years ago, Mike Myers was the king of live action comedy. He'd just swept comedy lovers off their feet with the weak, but amusing third entry of his ever popular "Austin Powers" franchise and it seemed like there was no end in sight. But then things took a nasty turn as Myers headlined the yucky, disturbing live action adaptation of "The Cat in the Hat." It proved to be a detrimental choice for Myers, and he's slunk into the position of playing the lovable ogre, Shrek ever since.

Even as the trailers and promo material premiered, nothing about "The Love Guru" looked funny, or even slightly amusing. In an age of thoughtful, juvenile-adult hybrid comedies like "Superbad" and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," crafted from comedy geniuses like Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen and Jason Segel, could Mike Myers tired, old schtick still work? In truth, the film, which was loosely based on Myers own personal guru guidance with Deepak Chopra (who makes an appearance in the film), manages to be worse than even the flat and tired promo material that preceded it. This is one painfully unfunny film from beginning to end.

Puerile humor has its place in the grand comedy spectrum. Many critics of comedies often attack films for being puerile and cheap, but the occasional ‘dick and fart' joke should never be discarded as cheap, even in the sharpest, wittiest of comedies. Sure, it's a simple, quick gag but, if done correctly, a ‘dick and fart' joke can generate an honest belly laugh.

But, an entire film that pivots its comedy heels on ‘dick and fart' jokes, that's a whole other story. Such is the case with "The Love Guru," a tale about a Guru who travels to Toronto to help out a slumping hockey player going through a painful divorce. There's nary a scene that doesn't feature a gag or three involving testicles, a penis, farting or a combo of the three. It's such a disgusting mix of lame jokes, it borderlines on flatly appalling. It's a cheap gimmick aimed at the absolute lowest common denominator of viewer.

Mike Myers has made puerile humor his stock-in-trade though. His "Austin Powers" films were built on cheap humor and sight gags, but it worked there because the world Austin Powers inhabited was so much richer and fresh and a spoof of the Bond franchise felt relevant and even necessary. "The Love Guru" takes it to a whole new level of cheap. Myers can't seem to churn up enough of his own tired gags, so he resorts to churning up muck fit for a films like "Meet the Spartans" and "Epic Movie."

Between the ancient Myers gags that he's been doing since his "SNL" days and the hapless ‘dick and fart' jokes, there are bevies of midget jokes stretched out longer than Verne Troyer himself. Every scene Troyer is in, there are at least six or seven gags relating to his stature. Sure, it's amusing the first or second time, but Troyer's supporting character isn't particularly funny, making the midget jokes feel mean spirited and offensive.

Even more mean spirited and offensive is Ben Kingsley's dark turn as the mentor of Myer's Guru Pitka. Kingsley once won an Academy Award for his portrayal of the Indian non-violent protestor, Ghandi. It's a powerful, inspiring performance, worthy of awards and critical praise. Since then, however, Kingsley has continued to show us that he didn't deserve such an award. Here, he gleefully mocks Indian culture and, in numerous indirect ways, his character of Ghandi. It's a performance so painful to watch, it makes one long for Kingsley's work with Uwe Boll.

Also weakening the threads is Justin Timberlake, who plays the film's villain, Jacques Grande. This could have been a scene chewing character, but instead, Timberlake's Grande drags each of his few scenes down with the sinking ship. One problem is that Timberlake's character is given only one major trait--he's got a huge...you guessed it. Timberlake is a surprisingly fine actor, but he just isn't right for this character. He's trying to pull off a deep French-Canadian accent, but with little guidance from Myers and his light tenor voice, the accent sounds more like a cheap imitation of Jack Black's Nacho Libre.

Rounding out the cast is Jessica Alba, who's given nothing funny to do, but at least she's not too bad here. Her dialogue is quite atrocious, but her performance is mostly stable. The best performance comes from Stephen Colbert, who plays a drug-addled Marv Albert-type sportscaster, but even he's reduced to ‘dick and fart' gags by film's end.

"The Love Guru" is likely to win over the hearts of 13 year old boys longing for a PG-13 film loaded with cheap gags aimed below the belt, but others would be wise to skip this disgusting mess of a movie. In the age of Apatow, Myers material comes off as slimy, wasted byproduct that stinks of staleness.

Film Report Card:

Entertainment Value: D

Film Value: D-

Overall: D-