All of us know the virtues of a positive mindset. Still most of us find it difficult to stay positive most of the times, forget about the trying circumstances. In fact it is easier to get into a negative mindset than into a positive frame of mind, for most of us. But when negativity overpowers you, is it possible for you to recognize it and shed it off? Or do you allow it to keep you under its possession?

First, let us understand that being positive doesn’t mean you will banish negative thoughts for ever from your head. What it really means is, training your mind to recognise such thoughts when they appear, and identify them. You can’t manage negativity until and unless you recognize negative thoughts and label them.
In whatever form the negativity invades your mind, what’s really attached to it is - fear. You might call it anger, sadness, jealousy or hatred, but the underlying emotion is always fear. The fear of losing something or someone.

According to the experts, whenever we get angry, the anger per se lasts for a very short time, not more than 15-20 seconds. Same thing applies to other negative emotions. That means, the actual emotion you feel (any negative emotion) has its full-blown expression for a very short period of time. After that, your mind takes over, and engages in reactions to the underlying fear.

Whenever a fear is triggered, a negative future vision gets projected in your mind. You may recall past memories to support and justify that fear.They not only justify and support whatever you are undergoing in your mind, but also feed negativity.And there you are, depending on your habitual reaction pattern – ready to attack with your claws and teeth drawn out or withdrawing into a shell and sulking.

Here are some of the most common forms of negativity you may feed or feed on

• Prejudice of every type - nationality, race, colour, gander, religion etc.

• Low self esteem that feeds jealousy.

• Negative criticism instead of constructive and positive feedback.

• Living in the past - which only triggers more negative emotions in the present

• Negative humor or comments that fuel prejudice

• Being too inquisitive about others actions and behavior rather than your own.

• Assumptions – and then behaving as though they’re facts

You can expand this list based on your experiences. Whenever you do one of the above, one question you must ask yourself is, “What is the fear underneath this negative thought I am experiencing, and how can I address it positively?”

Feeding negativity is a habit; you acquire as you grow up and go about your life. Best course for action in such a case is to follow these 7 steps:

1. Accept the fact that you are in to it.

2. Remind yourself to catch yourself the moment you indulge in it.

3. The moment you catch yourself doing it, label the negativity and the thought

4. Identify the underlying fear.

5. Think of a positive and constructive course of action to address the fear.

6. In view of above, tell yourself, what do you need to feed and feed on?

7. Do it now! Start practicing it immediately.

What it takes is a sense of responsibility for your response to the triggers around you. Learn to respond rather than reacting. You react when you feel that the events or the environment are more in-control than you. The fact is, they don’t. Their power depends on whether or how much you empower them. Agreed that it is not easy to learn to ’respond’ and it will take conscious effort, time and energy to learn it. But it is worth it.

Once you start practicing the above 7 steps, you will realize that, you give less and less time to negative thoughts, feelings, words, and actions and more and more time to the positives that makes you feel powerful, joyful, relaxed and fulfilled.