Missed Miscarriage

Just what is missed miscarriage? Medically referred to as missed abortion the term which I think doesn’t give credit to those whom suffer a missed carriage. In fact the grief from this is a little more intense than that of a normal miscarriage as there are NO warning signs. Hence the name, it’s terrible to finds out that you have suffered from a missed miscarriage as quite often you walk into the clinic for your scan and are full of the joys of pregnancy, the hype and excitement of being able to see your baby on the scanning machine and then you get in there to find out that the baby is no longer alive.

Believe me it’s a huge kick in the teeth, why does a missed miscarriage happen? Who knows it’s just another one of those freak of nature things that can literally happen to anyone. In fact it is said that 1 in 3 women at sometime in their life will suffer from a miscarriage, however the statistics for a missed miscarriage are somewhat higher.Depending on your situation women that suffer from domestic violence are more likely to suffer from a miscarrige. Those whom are going through this distress need to take time out, perhaps need a few moments aloe without the sympathies’ of friends and family every woman has their own way of dealing with the situation and sometimes when sympathy may seem the best way to react to your loved one quite often it can hurt them more as it’s a constant remembrance of hat they have lost, and an opportunity to break down in tears.

As most missed miscarriages happen before 3 months of pregnancy you will not really be aware of the movements of your baby by then, however you will be able to notice back ache, and the loss of pregnancy symptoms. You should look out for cramping in your abdomen similar to that of a period, extreme back pain and, loss of blood and when in doubt never be afraid to take a visit to your doctor. Many of us don’t want to appear as drama queens and be wrong about the diagnosis, perhaps you are worried about your dr thinking you are over reacting but let me tell you it’s better to be safe than sorry.

If you are one of the unlucky women that have been diagnosed with a missed abortion then you will no doubt be in shock, perhaps worried about what will happen next. Your gynaecologist will assess the state of your cervix to see if it has started to open and is showing signs of disposing of the foetus naturally. For many of us it’s a case of mind over body and once you have initially been told that you are going through a missed miscarriage your body will start to speed up the miscarriage process. As painful as it may be a miscarriage at home is a damn site better than having to have dilatation and cut ledge at the hospital.

If your cervix is soft then your dr may want to put some proster gland gel into your cervix and allow it to start off the contraction stage of pregnancy. One your body has started to contract then you should be able to have a natural miscarriage. However if the foetus inside you shows danger signs perhaps as a high risk of developing an infection etc then you will be booked into the hospital ward to have dilatation and cut ledge procedure ( d and c) this is where they insert a hoover like device to help clean out the remains of your baby.

Of course its natural as a mother to have the added fear of being able to see your dead baby , however if your baby was under 3 months then it’s very tiny and didn’t have the chance to develop yet , you will just lose blood clots and although silly people will try and scare you into thinking that you will spill out body parts you won’t. I know it’s not comforting but try to focus on your mental well being during this disturbing time and ignore silly remarks from people.

For those of you who have chosen to go home and allow nature take its course, you can take aspirin or ask your dr for stronger painkillers. Also a hot water bottle is excellent for cramping you will experience symptoms like that of your period and will pass out blood clots however its vital that you go starting back to your hospital ward if you are losing too much blood, the pain gets un bearable. You need to be very careful as you miscarry as your body is an open ground for infection. DONT use tampons and make sure that you talk to your partner about what you are going through don’t shut them out. Go to all your checkups and remember that you will be able to have kids again. Although it may be a down time for you now with time pain heals. Seek out counselling if your grief is too much to go through alone, DONT turn to anti depressants they are a temporary measure and are hiding the pain not addressing the underlying issue.