Week two back on second year of Diploma course and not surprisingly I'm a complete wreck. The classes are fantastic, it's just everything else around me is pretty shambolic. Got completely pissed at weekend at my husbands gig and completely mortified him and my mates by shouting raunchy things at him and dragging my friends up to dance. I, unfortunately, am, one of those people. But I vowed never to drink again and am pleased that I have done 5 days without booze or incident. Feeling overwhelmed trying to balance my life but very excited about my final year. God, I love acting.

Week 3 Drama at Drama.

I think it's fair to say that most actors have issues and I am certainly no exception to this rule. But the more professional actors I meet the more sane I feel. This year has been really good so far for us as a class and we have seen some stunning performances already and feel that everyone is geared up for the challenge ahead. We had a fantastic duologue class on Monday and we were scheduled to have another last night as we had a lot of material to get through very quickly. Our class last night was taken by a new tutor to the school but quite a well known actor. Anyway it was clear after several minutes in this class, that the tutor was either odd or pissed (this was only our second meeting with him, our first he had a bad cold and wasn't himself). The session continued and we grew ever more uncomfortable and uneasy and all I wanted to do was leave. He kept talking about himself, repeating himself, mixing up names, telling people he wanted to see them perform after they had just performed, decided he wanted to call us his "09 ers" rather than students, told us he was a great actor and great tutor and generally didn't listen to a word any of us said. God it was uncomfortable.

At the end of the session a few people challenged him on something he said about wanting to protect us and making sure that we aren't scoffed at. It was like he wanted to be our divine protector and actually we want to take risks and make mistakes, drama school is where you do that. Anyway, we all met in the pub after the session to discuss as we were all a bit shaken and some very angry. One of the group members contacted the principal and se said that she was meeting his today to cast us. We don't want pissed tutors, there is no trust or security and it completely puts the whole creative process in jeopardy. Initially I thought we should give him another chance but we don't really have the time to rebuild trust and feel comfortable with him. He needs to go. After a session like that, you really appreciate the tutors who make you feel safe and bring out the best in you by being respectful and professional. I'll keep you updated.

Week 7- I'm Dying

I hate it. I really hate it when I get ill. I've had a chest infection for 3 weeks and just missed 2 rehearsals because the bastard has finally caught up with me. Not fair. I feel like I'm never going to have a career if my body keeps letting me down. Thoroughly fed up. In bed learning lines and feeling very sorry for myself. I need this thing to go as in 3 weeks I have a duologue performance, a shakespeare piece, a solo singing performance, a poem to re-sight followed by 5 nights of Brecht. Some days I don't know how I'm going to get through the week, I feel so bad. I love this course but my body is rebelling, badly.