An amazing little dog has gone to Heaven and my life will never be the same. My little doll-baby Taffy, the love of my life and my best friend. Here is just a glimpse of it ~

When Taffy was about 10 years old the Vet discovered she had a slight heart murmur. It was hard to hear those words because her brother "Codi" had the same thing and he only lived until he was 8 years old. The Vet never put him on any kind of heart medication. At 11 years old Taffy tore a ligament in her leg and needed surgery. They put a pin in her back leg. She was s trooper. By the time Taffy turned 12 the Vet said her heart sounded worse. Taffy started to have a cough and when she barked her bark was not as strong sounding. The Vet suggested she go to a Specialist and have an echo cardiogram and sonogram. They discovered her liver enzymes were off and she needed to start taking heart medication. This happened one week before our move from Florida to North Carolina. Taffy was on Lasix for her heart, another pill for her cough and Dynasol for her liver. The Vet said to have her blood checked every few months. The first Vet we found in NC was not as gentle as the one in Florida and Taffy was shaking when we took her there. We knew we had to find another Vet. In between that time, our neighbor next door stopped by and when Taffy saw her at the door, she ran to her and had an attack. We did not know if it was a heart attack or a seizure. We then found another Vet in Georgia and took her for a check up. When they went to check her she turned blue. They rushed her into my arms and said if she doesn't get oxygen she may not make it through the night. The only place that had oxygen was in Atlanta, GA 2 1/2 hours away. Our friend Vicky drove us there in the dark and we had to leave Taffy overnight and drive home another 2 1/2 hours. The next morning they called and said to come and pick her up. Taffy did not need oxygen but she needed more medication. All in all, Taffy was now taking different pills 6 times per day. Taffy began to act like her old self again but she could not be left home alone anymore. Her pill schedule started from 7:30 - 8 AM and they were spaced about every two hours. They also made Taffy release more water and since she was paper trained, we had to make sure she had clean paper throughout the day.

A good friend of mine, Tina, who had a little boy Maltese at that time, told me her dog was diagnosed with the same thing. He was only 8 years old. One day she called me and told me he was gone. I cried and cried with Tina. I then became extremely nervous about Taffy as I worried every day if the same thing would happen to her. I started to do research online and read a few reviews where people said their dogs lasted another 9 to 11 months by being on Theophylline. That was one of the pills Taffy was taking and that was good to know. From January 2008 we could not eat in a restaurant, go to Church or go shopping. The only place I could shop in was Lowe's, Home Depot or Rite Aid. I could take Taffy to the salon as they allowed her to come inside. Taffy has a little pink pet stroller which allowed us to take her places. Before long, everyone in those stores knew Taffy. I knew I had to do anything I could possibly do to be able to work from home so that I could take care of Taffy and give her the medications needed. As time went on I spent 24/7 with Taffy. I used an Excel spreadsheet and my cellphone alarm to monitor her pills. During that time, I got to see just how dogs behave all through the day. How human-like they really are in many ways. How totally amazing and in tune they are to their owners. Taffy would scratch her bowl when she wanted more water, if I was busy on the phone she would bark at me when she knew it was time for her pill, she would sit by the door when she wanted to go for a ride to a store, she would watch my every move. When I put on my lipstick she knew I was getting ready to go out and she would run to wet on the paper. When I picked up her T-shirt she would just sit and wait for me to put it on her. When I took her blanket she would sit and back into it so that I could wrap her up to take her out. It is really cold up here in the Winter time. I made sure I always warmed the car first. It is totally amazing to be with a pet 24/7 and know their every move and them knowing your every move.

They are amazing little people in a furry body. Most people never get to see that because pets are usually left alone to do their own thing while we work, play and leave our homes. She was my little baby and she knew it. She was the only dog I had that actually smiled at me. She would give me the biggest grin and you could see her teeth. She would always circle when she walked. I used to pick her up, make believe I was winding her up and then put her on the floor and she would circle about 2 to 4 times. Kids who came over would love seeing her do that through the years. Taffy was my shadow. She followed me everywhere non-stop. I had to give Taffy her haircuts and trim her nails as she could no longer go to a groomer. She would lose her breath and there was no choice but to try to do it myself. As the year went on Taffy had another attack and in December 2008 I found a mobile vet that came to the house. She said she didn't know how Taffy was still around because her heart was so bad. She increased her Lasix medication 1/2 more and that helped. Taffy was okay again. Then the attacks started again in February and March 2009. It seemed almost every week she had one. She would lose her balance, put her head down limp and then howl. It was horrible. The Vet then said to give her Lasix 3 times per day.  Taffy was in a continual state of congestive heart failure for some time...given the fact that she had to be on Lasix for a long period of time to control her fluid retention.  Again it helped a little but by the middle of March it started more and more. Taffy had to be watched constantly throughout the day and night. We took turns watching her. We hardly got any sleep. It was so bad that even if Taffy scratched her bed, like dogs do, she would get out of breath and have an attack. We had to start picking her up and bring her to the paper and pick her up when she was done so that she would not exert herself. She still acted like a puppy. She barked, try to run around, and she ate everything. You would never think anything was wrong with her. But the night time was always different as she would get dizzy and breath heavier. The Vet said the night time was always worse. Then in April she had 2 bad attacks, 2 nights in a row. It was horrible. I called 3 Vets in 3 different states. The Florida Vet, who knew Taffy from 8 weeks old, said it was time because there was nothing more to do. The Georgia Vet was not real helpful and said she could look at her if we brought her there. The Mobile Vet in NC said as long as she is eating, just let her live out her life. And that is exactly what we wanted to hear. I wanted God to make the decision in His own timing. The Vet also put her on Potassium pills because of the Lasik she was taking. Taffy was fine for 3 days but then became dizzy a lot more. By the end of the week she had another attack. They were getting worse and worse.

On Easter Sunday we went to get gas and took Taffy. We saw a man putting a sign out that said Calvary Chapel and we stopped. He said to drive down the road and stop in as the Pastor and his wife were still there. I went to the door and met them coming out. We spoke for a while and I told them about Taffy. I asked them if they'd like to see her and they said yes. They loved her when they saw her. And the Pastor prayed for all of us. The following day, Monday, I actually had help as a friend that I had not seen, Vicky, came by for an hour. I could hardly keep my eyes open from lack of sleep. Then the next day, Tuesday, my friend Carole, in Florida, had her friend Tom who just got up here, come and stay with me for 3 hours, and the next day, Weds, a clerk at the P.O. who introduced me to his wife last year, told her to call me and she spent 5 1/2 hours with me. It was the first time in over a year that I had that support. I knew God sent them all. On Thursday, since it warmed up, I took Taffy out and we drove around town.

Then on this past Friday I was planning to take her out again as she was fine and sitting by the door barking, which tells me she wants to go for a ride. I had a phone call and Taffy was scratching in her crate like she usually does. We have been stopping her from doing that because we tried constantly to keep her calm. I went to her crate to stop her and calm her down. She was fine...then all of a sudden she came out to walk to her little bed and I noticed she was getting dizzy. I scooped her up and took her outside to get some air. Her head dropped down like it always does when she gets dizzy. I blew into her face like we have been doing for months. The Vet said it keeps her getting air. Her nose was running and she tried to pick up her head but she was just limp. This is the usual attack each time. But it has always happened when Marilyn is home and I hold her and Marilyn blows in her face. This time I was alone with her and I did the same thing. But this was the worse attack ever. She howled so much I began to cry hysterically and yet tried to be calm for her. She shook like crazy and all four legs were stiff. I could hardly hold her. I ran to get her stroller and house phone. I called my neighbor but no answer. I was shaking so bad I could hardly hold the phone. I went to put Taffy into her stroller but her legs were so stiff it was hard. She laid there with no movement and it seemed she wasn't breathing. I called Marilyn at work and said Taffy's gone, Taffy's gone. Marilyn left to come home. I put my hand on Taffy and yelled out loud ~ Jesus ~ Jesus ~ Jesus, please help me. I began to pet Taffy and talk to her. Tears streaming, hands shaking, heart racing and trying to take control. Taffy started to breath and move very slowly. She tried to get up so I picked her up and put her on my lap. She picked her head up. Just then Marilyn came home. Taffy seemed okay but very tired. I called a few Vets to see if any could monitor her over night. No one could. Her mobile Vet was on vacation. I finally found a Vet in Andrews, the next town, that Vicky and Ramona went to. They said we could bring her in. I told them she would totally stress out and they said the Vet could come out to the car. They only appt they had was at 4:30 PM. She was able to eat and take her heart pill and we took her to the P.O. in between that time so she could sit in one of the offices until her appt. She had a slight dizzy attack again. When we took her to the Vet, he checked her heart and said the stages of a dogs heart is from 1-6, 6 being the worst, and Taffy was a 6. He said she would have more attacks and more often and it would not be long. He said she was forcing herself to get oxygen. He said it was time. I threw myself into his chest. I didn't even know this Vet until that time. He was the most sensitive and caring man. He told me to spend time with her outside and he would handle everything inside. I carried my little doll baby through the parking lot. It was horrible. When the Vet came to get her, he hugged me again and said Taffy would be waiting for us at the Pearly Gates. I knew he was a Christian man. Then the nurse Linda came out and hugged me too. It was very emotional. We then drove home and cried and cried until there were no more tears. Saturday was worse. I left the house at 7:15 AM and sat in the car for about 7 hours. At 4 PM we went to Wal-Mart to get milk. That was the first time we went to Wal-mart together since November 2007 when our friend Paul came to visit. I didn't know how to act. It felt so weird. We ran into the Pastor and his wife that we met last Sunday on Easter, when we saw the sign in the road. When they heard what happened they hugged us and the Pastor said, "Now you have your life back" and he said we should come to Church on Sunday. So this past Sunday we went to Church and cried during the first 2 Worship songs and throughout the service. After that we got more hugs and were invited to their women's movie and dinner night. We made some new friends. It is hard.

Monday I spent the day driving around and sitting in different parking lots around town. Tuesday I sat to write this email in McDonald's parking lot at 7:30 AM so that I could put it into an email. Whether you have a dog or a cat, you can surely relate to the love that they give. These Furry little creatures know so much about life, about love and about the important things in life. No material possession could ever give you that feeling of joy. God created them for a reason. Dad always said, "Dog spelled backwards is God" ~ unconditional love.

Praise Him! To all of you who have stuck it out to read this long email ~ thank you so much.