Your partner is like a Clint Eastwood Character from a Spaghetti Western - the strong silent type - which may have been one of the attributes that originally attracted you to him or her but now you are beginning to realize that there is a reason why the Clint Eastwood characters are loners drifting from town to town.

You wonder - how can I get my partner to open-up and talk to me?

At our Centre For Life Management/LMC Relationship Centre, we have worked with many couples where one partner likes and needs to talk and have discussions, plan for the future and wants to know the inner most thoughts and dreams of his/her partner and all he/she hears are crickets in the background when it's time for his/her partner to talk.

So the following are some simple tips to help the communication start flowing that we have given to clients over the years.

1) Accept and Allow Your Partner To Be Authentically Who He/She Is:

Accept and allow your partner to be authentically who he/she is so he/she doesn't feel pressured. It is almost like performance anxiety for him/her - there is all this pressure for your partner to do something that doesn't come naturally to him or her.

There are four main Communication Channels that we all use to communicate with one another - Visual, Auditory, Digital and Kinesthetic.

Out of the four channels, there is only one - "Auditory" where talking comes naturally and effortlessly.

Digital people who are into understanding and being understood may or may not be into talking - but Auditory people just have the gift of the gab and chances are if you are reading this article you are Auditory as well as Digital and your partner is either Visual- which is a person who is into "Doing" versus "Talking" and/or "Kinesthetic" who is into "Feeling" and "Being" versus "Talking."

So if your partner is any of the other communication channels other than Auditory, your partner is being his/her authentic self and you need to Accept and Allow your partner to be who he/she is and then and only then will he/she feel Safe and Accepted enough to open up and/or learn how to talk in your communication channel.

2) Make "We Need To Talk" Fun:

Who really would want to open up and talk if when they hear the words "We Need To Talk" it makes them cringe and want to run away?

Talking about serious and important things doesn't have to be presented in a serious way. People are easily conditioned by what they experience and if a person can associate having important discussions as fun and enjoyable they would be much more open to having the discussions and much more relaxed and open during the conversation.

So go do an activity that's fun and/or relaxing together while having a discussion, i.e. Go to a fair or go for walk, get in a hot tub or bath together, laugh a lot, take little breaks to breathe and walk around - even have a conversation through stuffed animals. (For example - it's really hard to have an intense or angry discussion when you are looking into the little cute eyes of a stuffed animal named Lamie The Lamb - trust me.)

3) Make Your Need To Talk Into a Preference:

You don't even have to tell your partner about this, but just make a decision in your head to make your need to talk into a preference instead of a need - this way you are detaching from what you want.

When you are detached - "patience" and "time" become your ally so you are not frustrated when you are being denied access into the inner world of your partner and then before you know it your partner will open up and you haven't lost your quality of life or peace of mind.

4) Explain to Your Partner That You Understand Differences and That You Are Totally O.k. That You Are Different From Your Partner:

You can explain to your partner about communication modes and how you are Auditory and that your partner is Visual or Kinesthetic and that you are Totally O.k. with that.

You can explain that you are both being authentic and that as couple you just need to find a way to support both of you in being a full authentic expression of yourselves.

5) Express How You Feel:

When you are explaining about wanting your partner to open up - make it about how you feel - not about your partner and not what he/she is doing or not doing.

For example "I feel connected and loved when you open-up to me and I love talking - talking soothes me and puts me into a relaxed state." You can then ask your partner what makes him or her feel relaxed - by doing so you will already be on you way to an open conversation.

Are you curious about finding out even more tips on how to get your partner to talk and open up? Check-out our Counsellor In a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com/ for our full collection of communication tips, tools and techniques.