The Greatest Mysteries in Life

There are a great many mysteries in life to which it is unlikely we will ever know the answer. These conundrums may take the form of mysteries of the physical universe and the very origins of our planet and our galaxy's existence; they may take the form of the miracle that is our own human body and precisely how it works...or they may take the even more confusing form of why certain people do certain things or how certain products happen to worm their way into our everyday existence.

This site - you may be relieved to know! - deals exclusively with the third of those above types of mystery...

It is a conundrum that I am sure puzzles men the world over. It may be in a restaurant, a bar, a theatre, or any one of a hundred other places to which the public are admitted: women inevitably go to the WC, "two by two."

I have puzzled over this particular mystery for many years - as have a number of other males whom I know - but I have yet to come up with a feasible answer. Is it so that one can hold the other's bag while she attends to her toilet; is it because they can't stop talking long enough to be parted for a couple of minutes; is it a form of "sistership" where men find "brotherhood" in beer?

The only thing for certain is that I have never seen one of those things pictured right with two seats on it...but then again, I do not make a regular habit of frequenting ladies' restrooms!

While attending the Notting Hill Carnival for the first time this year (2008,) I was delighted to finally come across a small stand selling the legendary spiced rum I had heard so much about. Upon purchasing two measures, however, I was somewhat confused to be told that they came with a free condom - with added Vitamin E! I found myself perhaps a little too taken aback to query the relevance and logic of this "special free gift" at the time but I sincerely wish I had, as try as I may, I still cannot figure out what could even be a possible connection...

We've all been given them in restaurants, pubs or bars - those little plastic sachets of sauce, ketchup or mustard, with a "tear here" message emblazoned along the top or side, as though it is the simplest task in the world. How often have you had to get your teeth into it, ask the waitress for a pair of scissors...or alternatively, do without in disgust? How often have you eventually succeeded in tearing the sachet, just at the point where you are risking a hernia, only to squirt the entire contents all over your hand, your shirt, the table...or a little bit of all three?

What is the problem here? How difficult can it be, in these times of space travel, nuclear power stations and triple heart bypasses, to manufacture a plastic sachet which can effectively be torn open by the human hand?

Perhaps it is a cunning plan on the part of Governments to stop us adding such chemical stodge to our food and improve our all-round health...?