We'll, it's that time of year again, and the holiday season is upon us. What holiday you ask? National Donut Day, silly. Oh, you've never heard of it? Yeah, neither have I, along with the vast majority of the United States population. Or so I'd assume. There's an idiotic holiday for everything, and apparently donuts are no different. On the first friday in June (ie at the time of this writing, today), both independent donut stores and national brands alike offer free donuts to famished patrons. At first, I kind of thought that this was a recent, made up holiday, an attempt to make us Americans feel better about our morbid obesity. But it turns out National Donut Day has a long and storied history.

Begun in 1938 by the Salvation Army in Chicago to raise money for the less fortunate, it was originally intended to honor so called "Lassies" who volunteered to provide food for front line troops during World War I. And the tradition persists to this day. In honor of National Donut Day, here's a rundown of notorious, kickass donuts from around this great land.

Let's start with the obvious. When I think deep fried sweetened dough I think Krispy Kreme. These artery clogging bastards are synonymous with unhealthy. Thankfully for them, nobody really gives a shit. Nor should they. Krispy Kreme's are delicious. It's probably why they did 9 Billion in sales worldwide last year. Yeah, that's right, billion. With a B. With stores as far away as Australia, Krispy Kreme is a truly international phenomena.

Started in Winston-Salem, North Carolina in 1937, Krispy Kreme grew rapidly and continues to be on the forefront of the constantly evolving donut game. They tested a pilot program in '03 in Mountain View, California, home of Google, that used wireless payment to hawk doughnuts at street intersections. The program was eventually scraped, but still a valiant effort.

While they've had problems with franchisees in Arizona and New Mexico in recent years, and notably failed to make a dent in the major New England market (that's Dunkin's turf) they continue to expand and bring their original glazed confections to crowds around the nation and the globe.

Yet another no brainer. Any of you New Englanders out there no doubt harbor fond members of this cultural institution. Though their coffee is highly underrated, the donuts are of course the main attraction. Everytime I see a short pudgy man with a mustache, my Pavlovian response is to think about this place. The donuts aren't even really that rockin', but these places are all over the East Coast and tend to be relatively reliable.

Comin' straight out of Quincy, Mass. in 1951, these guys have the Northeast Atlantic corridor on lockdown. It's impossible to drive more than three miles in the Boston metropolitan area without running into one of these places. Not surprising, considering they have over 8,000 locations around the world. 

Alright, I'm biased against these devils. Hostess is one step below intravenously injecting sugar into your bloodstream. It depends on your taste, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that people that like these used to save up their allowance and lawn mowing cash as kids and blow it all on pixie stix. More famous for the twinkie/ho-ho line up of devil food, they're also one of the top 5 donut distributors in the country. 

I'd forgot all about these guys, but I figured I had to include them, seeing as how they are the biggest donut maker in the country. I just remember them from the "Seinfeld" where Elaine eats a 60 year old cake ("they've got a case at the end of the aisle") but apparently they do big business. And these homeboys and homegirls have been at it for over a century. They've outlasted even General Motors. But then again it makes sense that we're better at the donut game than making cars. I don't think donuts ever really caught on in Japan, but I digress.

German immigrant William Entenmann started this outfit up circa 1898 on Rogers Ave. in the New York borough of Brooklyn. While they make everything from cake to Danish to cookies and more, their donut operations are number one in the United States. I had no idea. Amusingly, they were sued by Krispy Kreme donuts over the right to call their donuts the "original glazed donut", despite the fact that KK did not in fact hold any sort of trademark on that. The suit was eventually dropped, possibly due to the overall retardedness of such a lawsuit.

Oh, and check out their website real quick. No, I'm not trying to hawk their products or anything, but there's a cool think on the first page, this interactive deal that they used some AJAX thing to pull off or something. It's cool.

That's really the best thing about America: the small businesses. And every town has at least one solid donut joint no matter where it is. From Top Pot Doughnuts in Seattle, Washington, to Cafe du Monde in swingin' New Orleans, to the Doughnut Plant on the Lower East Side in NYC, there's a cozy purveyor of sweet, sweet empty calories no matter what time zone you reside in. Krispy Kreme and Dunkin' are great staples, but nothing beats supporting your local neighborhood bakery.

So be a patriot, and go grab some doughnuts. For America.