natural fart cures

Why would you want to cure that? :-)

First off... we need to find out exactly what aspect you are trying to get rid of.

Are your farts juicy and wet? We may need to find a way to reduce water content or help regulate your stomach. More fiber in the diet...perhaps?

Is it the loudness? Wetness and loudness sometimes go hand in hand... but sheer force can also play a role in farts entering a dangerous decible level. A cork can provide temporry help while you get to a safe place.

Is it the smell? Sulpher reduction may be the key. Eat less eggs. also a good probiotic pill may help. If you digest more of your food...that air will have less stinky material to go past.

Finally...the male...female issue? Males get blamed for everything...so you females you are in luck. In an elevator...stand next to an unsuspecting male...and everyone in the elevator will think HE did it.

All this said... farts are not always bad. You can light them to provide warmth on cold nights (esp. if you fart alot). And if you fart in your greenhouse you will feed your plants. If you are a prankster... think of your many farts as a way to save money on whoopie cushions. Farts are the cause of universal laughter. With all the bad news and depressed people in the world today... I wish there were more farts to offset the gloom.

So remember... you can put a positive spin on farting... and embrace it. It is natural. So keep making that "cheek music"...and put a smile on someones face. Heck... Mr. Methane even makes a career (or is that Ca-Rear) out of it :-)