Worried Your Child Might Be A Nerd?

Recent studies suggest that total nerd-dom affects as many as one in seven children.  A significant percentage of these children outgrow all but the most glaring symptoms, escaping the full brunt of nerdiness to become relatively harmless dweebs, dorks and lameasses later in life.  However, a small but growing number of young nerds never shake their early onset nerdage, and continue on to become social outcasts, retaining their headgear, broken spectacles and virginity through out their adult lives.

Good parenting is the most important nerd-fighting technique.  Does your child prefer Heinlein to Harry Potter?  Burn his books.  On second thought, burn the Harry Potter books, too.  They're a proven gateway drug for nerds.  And don't stop there--a good parent will smash every calculator, shred every Dilbert collection, and even force Lasik surgery on their toddlers in order to put them on the path to righteousness.  Total f'ing righteousness.