The Columbian Death Squad Comes Knocking

The Columbian Death Squad Comes Knocking

I knew there was something different as soon as I felt the morning wind across my red cheeks. I wasn't sure what it was but it was different. I hear dogs barking, I look to the east as my go to meet with the direction of sound. The sun has yet to come up. I can tell winter is coming the mornings are getting darker and darker. My brother Dale comes out of the house yawning and sleepy eyed. He looks over to me...

"What the fuck are you doing out here, you aren't even dressed yet? Dude we got to get to school." He bellows at me.

I forgot all about school and forgot I had no shirt on. I must look like a crazy person out here. I go inside just when dawn starts and you can see the light from the sun escaping over the horizon. Looks like fire across the still lake we live on. I come back out and Dale must have the car started I can hear it humming quietly over the hill. I climb the hill and climb into the car. We set out on the journey that will change our lives. We hated driving to school because of the damn detours we had to take caused by the new bridge that was being built. We had to cut through town (which was shit) to get to the detour. We get on the back country road the sun is almost in full view off in the distance. We are going about 50, 60 miles an hour. Then we take one of the corners and come up to a state patrol car right behind a semi-truck, driving down the road. Than boom the semi starts throwing bags of white powder along side of the road. One of them exploded into a cloud of white powder. Dale and I look at each other...

"Dude is he dumping drugs? No way he can't, but what the cock is that shit" I ask out loud

"That is crazy, I mean if those aren't drugs, why isn't that state patrol doing anything about it?" Dale says laughingly

Then out of nowhere these gigantic, black SUVs come crashing out of the woods. Dale and I look at each other with that what the fuck look across both of our faces. Right behind us the SUVs get closer and closer. We are both getting nervous, and then before we can say anything we get side swipe by one of them. I am shitting bricks right now because I just realized who these guys were. These guys are the Minnesota chapter of Columbian drug cartel Death Squad. We have only heard stories about these guys, but never thought we run into them. These guys are known as the deadliest force on the earth. Even navy seals squads have been destroyed by these guys. I look over at Dale, he has the accelerator pinned to the floor the look on his face says that he knows who these guys are also. We shoot down a dirt road going east the sun is in full view now. The SUVs follow us we know now that we are in that life or death moment of our lives. My heart is racing; I think I am going to have a heart attack. I reach into the glove box and grab my friend Tara's 45 mag. Just as I turn around to get ready to shoot the window explodes with flurry of sound.

"Those fuckers they are shooting at us. What the hell are waiting for shoot back?" Dale yells

I draw the pistol up with both of my sweaty hands. I line up a shot and....

BOOM!!!

I totally missed; I have got to admit that it was bound to happen sooner or later.

"God you suck as bad as you are fat. Do you want me to do that also?" Dale screams.

I quickly line up another shot...

BOOM!

Then just as quickly as I shot the 45 the lead SUV next to us blows up in intense fire ball. But before I can do anything there are still ten to twenty of those fuckers behind us. Left and right I am blowing up these SUVs like bottle rockets on the Fourth of July. That is when the tank comes flying out of the field in front of us. We have nowhere to go; this guy is coming right at us. Dale tries to take the ditch right before we get flattened by this tank in front of us. But just our luck the embankment is to steep and we roll the car damn is Tara going to be pissed. We climb out of the wreck while we are still in a daze.

"We are fucked!" I announce as if Dale doesn't know.

The tank is coming right for us. Then it stops right at our feet we don't know what is going on. All of the sudden the top entrance pops open. Almost like a movie smoke is released when it is open. To our surprise when the smoke clears it is our buddy Erik standing there laughing.

"Hey guys. That was the coolest you guys rolled like thirty times, I have a video of it on my cell phone I am so going YouTube it." Erik laughs...

"God damn it Erik you almost killed us." Dales bellows.

But before we can do anything here they come. Like a thousand gnats in the sky parachutes litter the red morning sky as we sit in a field. Erik gets in his giraffe fighting stance ready to rock, Dale pulls out his Rambo knife ready to roll, and myself, I just load my gun and turn the safety off. With a flash Erik shoots into the sky like dragon ball z shit and starts kicking ass 50ft above us. I started firing my gun at everything in the sky causing dead bodies to drift to the ground. Everything that Erik and I missed, Dale as tearing them apart with such primal rage I was a little scared. Dale would grab one death squad member and throw him 15 to 20 feet with ease and impale the guy on a fence post. Dale throws his knife it hits a guy square in the head with such it caused him to back flip. Then he runs over to the guy punches into his chest and rips his heart out, it was still beating. Erik meanwhile was on a role like zigzagging blur he is knocking the death squads heads off and hitting pressure points left and right.

Then out of nowhere Erik gets hit hard. With an explosion he hits the ground. Dale and I run over to find out what the hell was going on. Erik climbs slowly out of the hole he just made shaking the dust out of hair. We all look up and there he is...

"Mr. Anderson" Erik whispers in a raspy voice

I do not know how they did it but the Columbians got Neo. We thought we were definitely screwed. In the past Erik and Neo have had it out for each other ever sense Erik married Neo's love Andrea. With a booming flash Neo hurls his body right at us. We all scatter as Neo hits the earth. Before we get anywhere Neo grabs all three of us and brings up into the sky. We all look down at the hundreds of bodies we have slain. Then Neo dive bombs to the earth with all of us 1000 feet, 750 feet, 500 feet, 200, feet, 100 feet, we close our eyes facing impending death but we stop before we hit the earth. There he stands Erik in a glow.

"Holy shit!" Dale and I whisper to each other

Fear creeps across Neo's face. Erik grabs him and slams into a tree; it explodes into millions of pieces. Then throws Neo into the air, hundreds of feet above the ground. Then Erik explodes up to where Neo is in a blink of an eye. Erik draws back his hand and in one mighty punch he hits Neo's lifeless body causing Neo to explode. Erik comes back down to Dale and me.

"What the hell was that Erik?" Asked Dale inquisitively.

"I guess I went a little over board, but he has been calling Andrea and me names since I stole Andrea away from him. So he had it coming." Replied Erik in a loud booming voice.

I start laughing out loud. The two look over and start laughing too.

"I guess we aren't going to school this morning huh?" Dale chokes out because he is laughing so hard.

I shake my head no. Erik runs over to the tank and reaches in and pulls out something and shouts...

"Hey guys I got some leinenkugels Berrieweiss"

We all polish off the twelve pack and go out to have some fun. The Columbians learned a very important lesson today; don't fuck with Dale, Erik, and Nick. And that goes for all of you, you mess with one, you mess with all of us (unless Dale's riding, Erik is playing WOW, or I am drunk passed out) but that is besides the points just remember.

By Nicholas Wells