1. Expect the unexpected. Always.

2. When changing lanes never signal, it's just more fun that way.

3. Speed limits are merely suggestions. Until you see a cop.

4. Tailgating is our national pastime.

5. The boundary of stop signs extends two feet, and since we're such awesome drivers, we love sticking out until you almost hit us.

6. The Garden State Parkway is our Nascar circuit.

7. Everyone should know your exit.

8. The ones that don't have a habit of reversing in the middle of a highway to take the exit they missed.

9. Jug handles are our way of screwing with out of state drivers.

10. Pumping our own gas requires leaving the car, which is just not necessary in this day and age.

11. Eating a donut while talking on a cell phone is absolutely necessary when driving.

12. High beams must be flashed if you are going the speed limit.

13. Cutting in front of people becomes an art form - the closer it is, the more you have mastered it!

14. That swerving does not mean I'm drunk, just that the kids in the back are whining in my ear while I dropped the cigarette I need to pick up.

15. I need to show off the newly modded speakers in my Honda by blasting obnoxious rap music with my windows down.

16. That's right, those are brand new most-awesome-rims-ever on my 2003 Toyota.

17. It takes much too long to drive to the end of mall parking lots, thus I must cut through them at 40mph.

18. During rush hour I am in such a hurry to get home and sit on the couch that I must speed down the shoulder as if it were an empty lane.

19. You mean you're supposed to park WITHIN the lines?

20. Double yellow lines means you can't pass? No way.

21. The existence of "Don't Turn on Red" signs is very funny.

22. A yellow light always means accelerate.

23. Merging means you better watch out for me, because I'm cutting you off regardless of how close you are.

24. Yielding is also known as "I have the right of way".

25. Cutting across 3 lanes in less than 3 seconds is done solely for fun.

26. I learned within the first week of driving that there is a pause when the light turns red, before the other oncoming side gets green.

27. Sometimes driving at night without headlights just makes the experience all the more exciting. Especially when I make a turn without signaling right in front of you.

28. When I'm bored I love break checking you, just to make sure you're awake and all.

29. It's even more fun to cut you off and then break check you.

30. Flipping someone off is in my blood, I need to do it especially if you courteously change lanes in front of me.